WomanSavers.com Forum / MEN'S AREA / nice guys

bubbles, i think drew missed this story back in kindergarten.

Aesop‘s Fables

One hot summer‘s day a Fox was strolling through an orchard till he came to a bunch of Grapes just ripening on a vine which had been trained over a lofty branch. "Just the thing to quench my thirst," quoth he. Drawing back a few paces, he took a run and a jump, and just missed the bunch. Turning round again with a One, Two, Three, he jumped up, but with no greater success. Again and again he tried after the tempting morsel, but at last had to give it up, and walked away with his nose in the air, saying: "I am sure they are sour."

It is easy to despise what you cannot get.

"Sweetheart...a 5 year old child could do physical harm to you...with a gun in his hand for example...your not making any sense..."

Leave it to a nut like you to inject something totally irrelevant into my example to the point that it does not make sense. Because otherwise, if you left what I said completely alone, it would make sense. But me making sense and being correct, you simply can‘t have that because it bothers you. Correct about what? Well for one example of many, you being wrong. If in denial about that, consult my post dated 12:57 on page three.

"This is my original post...where do I say she didn‘t deserve to be used like that?"

It might have been that time where you said that the guy should have just walked away without using her. What? You can‘t remember your own words now. Here they are again:

"When she told you she was "pregnant" you should have told her you were sterile and then just walked out the door...like a true "nice guy".

Not a bad post slayer. But I must say that I did agree earlier that there was quite a bit of truth in the OP with regard to guys. Refer to my first post in this topic. I won‘t repeat that long spiel here.

No it‘s cut and dry and your double standards are clear. Men who spot their women about to screw them over shouldn‘t expose them to the world and teach them a lesson and shame them. In your own words "they should just walk out the door like a real nice guy." Funny how women on this board recommend women shouldn‘t take the high road and keep quiet if they find their partner cheating.

The point has already been made. This woman tried to **** this guy over by sticking him with a kid that she knew wasn‘t his. She obeyed the golden rule. She treated someone a certain way, therefore she has no expectation to be treated back fairly. That guy was within his rights to keep using her for sex because that‘s all she was good for due to her behavior. She was entitled to no respect from him.

Quit making excuses for her behavior and saying she didn‘t deserve it when she clearly did. You don‘t like it, take it up with the operative logic of the golden rule about treating people how you want to be treated and why you can only expect to be treated the way you treat others. Vice versa, If a man uses a woman and treats her like crap, he deserves it back quite frankly. That‘s the rule. Be nice, and you deserve it back. Anything less, and you can‘t complain about being deceived or hurt, etc. I‘m quite surprised you don‘t understand this simple rule of behavior yet, and you‘re 32. If you did, you wouldn‘t be judgemental of what that guy did to that cheating bitch.

Drew...your stupidity is boring me to death.

Drew...your stupidity is boring me to death.

No, being taken advantage of and being screwed over for "bad boys"(and then listening to the whining on how badly they were treated by said bad boys) is enough to cure a guy from the "nice guy syndrome.

I can say I have only been screwed over once for a "bad boy".  Didn‘t really bother me all that much because I figured, if thats the kind of guy she wants, I don‘t want her.

I also realized she‘d be getting treated like crap.  She did try to get me back when she realized he was a cheater.  I wasn‘t interested any longer.  I guess I was no longer a "nice guy" because I didn‘t want to give her a 2nd chance.

I simply told her that I am not her type and that I‘m not some cocky jackass that thinks its ok to share myself with other women like I‘m God‘s gift.

Although I understood when she told me she felt like a fool and she has learned her lesson.  I told her not to beat herself up over it, but that her and I were not going to happen.

Well, what about the nice girl?  I‘ve known more than a few of them to be "passed by" because they weren‘t sexy enough or "hot" enough.  Good personality, good character, and good morals were not appealing to guys.  Too many men are looking at boobs and booties and short skirts. 

I was brought up to be a "nice girl" - love your mama, go to church, save the virginity until you get married.  I was also brought up being expected to work hard, to save money, to set goals for myself, and it was an expectation to have a career.

Only to find out that there are lots of men out there who don‘t like to work, don‘t think it‘s important to support their families, and are just lookin‘ for a sugar mama.  Believe me, all the things you guys can complain about go both ways. 

I had men pass me by for welfare moms.  Apparently "needy" women were more attractive to them.  They were not attracted to self sufficiency and independence.  The "damsel in distress" was more appealing.  I think it fed their ego to feel like a "hero."

Trust me - "nice girls" can finish last, too.

Excellent post RHI!

 "Well, what about the nice girl?  I‘ve known more than a few of them to be "passed by" because they weren‘t sexy enough or "hot" enough.  Good personality, good character, and good morals were not appealing to guys.  Too many men are looking at boobs and booties and short skirts.  "

Men have the right to pass on women, right ? Its better they passing on you then marrying without attraction, having kids, then divorcing and taking half of their stuff.

"I was brought up to be a "nice girl" - love your mama, go to church, save the virginity until you get married."

You were virgin until you got married ?

" I was also brought up being expected to work hard, to save money, to set goals for myself, and it was an expectation to have a career."

I hope you dont expect that to become a factor in attracting men. Men are not interested in your carrer or money. If he is, you should stay away from him for your own good.

"Only to find out that there are lots of men out there who don‘t like to work, don‘t think it‘s important to support their families, and are just lookin‘ for a sugar mama.  Believe me, all the things you guys can complain about go both ways.  "

Except that, if things go wrong, the laws will protect the women, not the men. Even in cases of paternity fraud.

"I had men pass me by for welfare moms.  Apparently "needy" women were more attractive to them.  They were not attracted to self sufficiency and independence.  The "damsel in distress" was more appealing.  I think it fed their ego to feel like a "hero.""

Like I said, men are not attracted to your carreer or money. If they traded you for a single mother, they are quite dumb, and believe, you are better of without them.