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MESSAGE
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| beachgirl20088002 |
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Posted: 8/8/2008 11:37 AM |
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Subject: Should I tell her |
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New WomanSaver
Female Member
Age: 42
Total Posts: 2
Rockville
Maryland
United States
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I used to date a guy named Ned Ahnell from Rockille, Maryland. We were together for a long time and I thought things were going really well. Usual story - found out he had been constantly cheating on me. Should have seen the red flags as he had left his wife with a newborn baby but he had such a great story and he was very charming. I found out he just recently left his newest girlfriend because she is pregnant. This girlfriend is not going to go after support as she thinks it is her fault and he didn‘t want the kid anyways. I think she should know about his past. She won‘t talk to me. I know this is meddling but I think she needs to know the kind of guy he is and that he has done this before and continues to do this. Maybe a big child support bill will make him change his ways.
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| Funnysl |
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Posted: 8/8/2008 3:47 PM |
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Subject: Should I tell her |
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WomanSaver MoFo
Female Member
Age: 40
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Total Posts: 5026
sunshine and daisies
Wyoming
United States
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Tell her and then leave it alone!
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| oldwiz |
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Posted: 8/9/2008 10:22 AM |
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Subject: Should I tell her |
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WomanSaver Addict
Male Member
Age: 62
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Total Posts: 248
Anywhere But
California
United States
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| beachgirl20088002 wrote: | | Maybe a big child support bill will make him change his ways. |
Tell her! Changing his ways isn‘t important. He‘s a loser and will always be a loser. What is important is holding him accountable to his child and demanding that he support him or her regardless of what his wants were.
If he didn‘t want a child he should have kept it in his pants, not put it in hers!
You play, you pay!
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| Indigo Child |
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Posted: 8/11/2008 6:53 AM |
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Subject: Should I tell her |
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New WomanSaver
Female Member
Age: 100
Total Posts: 3
Whereami
New York
United States
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| beachgirl20088002 wrote: | | I think she should know about his past. She won‘t talk to me. I know this is meddling but I think she needs to know the kind of guy he is and that he has done this before and continues to do this. Maybe a big child support bill will make him change his ways.
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If you try to tell her and she won‘t talk to you, then it is all on her then. She will find out on her own. You want to stop him from doing what he does but you can‘t have control over every situation. You just have to let the higher powers take care of it all and worry about you.
One word....Karma. He will get his in the end, the more you focus on him and trying to "take him down" per se, the more that will come back on you.
Ever mind the Rule of Three,
three times what thou givest returns to thee,
this lesson well, thou must learn,
thee only gets what thou dost earn.
I have been in your situation so I know exactly what you are saying and it is much better to divert your energy into you and more positive things then this psycho that you were involved with. Let the past be the past and focus on your future.
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| tula1969 |
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Posted: 8/11/2008 1:26 PM |
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Subject: Should I tell her |
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WomanSaver MoFo
Female Member
Age: 39
Total Posts: 1514
Under an UMBRELLA, England
Great Britain
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| Indigo Child wrote: |
| beachgirl20088002 wrote: |
| I think she should know about his past. She won‘t talk to me. I know this is meddling but I think she needs to know the kind of guy he is and that he has done this before and continues to do this. Maybe a big child support bill will make him change his ways. |
If you try to tell her and she won‘t talk to you, then it is all on her then. She will find out on her own. You want to stop him from doing what he does but you can‘t have control over every situation. You just have to let the higher powers take care of it all and worry about you.
One word....Karma. He will get his in the end, the more you focus on him and trying to "take him down" per se, the more that will come back on you.
Ever mind the Rule of Three, three times what thou givest returns to thee, this lesson well, thou must learn, thee only gets what thou dost earn.
I have been in your situation so I know exactly what you are saying and it is much better to divert your energy into you and more positive things then this psycho that you were involved with. Let the past be the past and focus on your future.
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I totally agree
She has already made a decision regarding CS and that‘s up to her. I understand totally and completely how you are feeling but I dont think you telling her is going to change the outcome. What is happening between him and her, is their stuff.
I also agree that KARMA has a cool, nifty way of coming back ten fold so reckon you should leave well alone. I doubt either of them would thank you for your imput.Chances are they would only call you and accuse you of being bitter and wanting revenge.
Focus on you and sit back, he has what he has coming to him and you WILL get to hear about it.
You count now, only you, NOT his looser ways or life. Make the most of your life girlie
T 
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| SoSick |
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Posted: 9/9/2008 1:55 AM |
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Subject: Should I tell her |
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WomanSaver Lurker
Male Member
Age: 35
Total Posts: 33
Dallas
Texas
United States
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Hey Tula1969... Yep on the Karma thing. I also understand her desire to warn the other girl. I will offer my info regarding my ex‘s wimpy BF to anyone who wants to know - but otherwise, I just assume not thing about them. Apparently, he‘s telling people he‘s a Navy Seal?! LOL I know a Navy Seal, they are the Best of the best. If they‘re score was 100, mr. wimp would be only 2, since he‘s in the Army. I‘ve warned my ex about the bad karma that is falling on her/them. Every month there is something screwing up costing him hundreds of dollars. Arressted by Police, fake papers, bad neighbors, threaten eviction, screaming, cat poo, etc etc... I‘d wish him the worst that karma has to offer - but it seems to be doing that all on its own ;) People who do bad things - seems to have bad thing happen to them. Realizing this, I‘m working on myself to distance myself from such people. Not get involved so much, trying to help people so much etc.
PS: We won and the boy is doing great. Thanks for your help.
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| tula1969 |
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Posted: 9/12/2008 6:04 PM |
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Subject: Should I tell her |
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WomanSaver MoFo
Female Member
Age: 39
Total Posts: 1514
Under an UMBRELLA, England
Great Britain
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| SoSick wrote: | Hey Tula1969...
Yep on the Karma thing. I also understand her desire to warn the other girl. I will offer my info regarding my ex‘s wimpy BF to anyone who wants to know - but otherwise, I just assume not thing about them. Apparently, he‘s telling people he‘s a Navy Seal?! LOL I know a Navy Seal, they are the Best of the best. If they‘re score was 100, mr. wimp would be only 2, since he‘s in the Army.
I‘ve warned my ex about the bad karma that is falling on her/them. Every month there is something screwing up costing him hundreds of dollars. Arressted by Police, fake papers, bad neighbors, threaten eviction, screaming, cat poo, etc etc... I‘d wish him the worst that karma has to offer - but it seems to be doing that all on its own ;) People who do bad things - seems to have bad thing happen to them. Realizing this, I‘m working on myself to distance myself from such people. Not get involved so much, trying to help people so much etc.
PS: We won and the boy is doing great. Thanks for your help.
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I am genuinely glad you got the little lad
All very best wishes to you both SoSick
T
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| malarkey marie |
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Posted: 12/29/2008 6:48 AM |
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Subject: Should I tell her |
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WomanSaver MoFo
Female Member
Age: 500
Total Posts: 908
Vatican city
Finland
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should i tell you this is the men‘s section? the one where men ask woman for advice?
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| 2hot4uall |
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Posted: 1/3/2009 3:48 AM |
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Subject: Should I tell her |
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New WomanSaver
Female Member
Age: 30
Total Posts: 1
Tracy
California
United States
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What he is doing now is his business not yours. You need to get rid of the grudge you are holding about him. I think you are still jelous and resentful. Let go of the past girl and get a future.
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| Momof4 |
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Posted: 1/3/2009 9:35 AM |
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Subject: Should I tell her |
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WomanSaver MoFo
Female Member
Age: 0
Total Posts: 3908
Wearing green and stumbling around in
Ireland
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| 2hot4uall wrote: | |
What he is doing now is his business not yours. You need to get rid of the grudge you are holding about him. I think you are still jelous and resentful. Let go of the past girl and get a future.
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The wish to help another victim of a lowlife loser-I don‘t get the feeling she‘s jealous-I get the feeling he‘s a dangerous asshole that needs to be neutered.
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| superlove |
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Posted: 1/6/2009 4:25 PM |
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Subject: Should I tell her |
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New WomanSaver
Male Member
Age: 45
Total Posts: 1
New York City
New York
United States
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Mooove on! Are you 15 or 42? Why are you wasting your time on this waste and getting involved with his drama??? Hasn‘t he wasted enough of your time already???? He cheated like most men do....you left him! Good for you! Now start a new life for youself and move on! Quit being psycho and lowering yourself to his standards. I am sure you are better then him....right?
Best of luck to you and your drama but I say move on and let the girl figure it out herself..........I love my therapist she has helped me through so much! Seek one for yourself, life has so much more to offer.
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| longtimefriend |
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Posted: 4/7/2009 12:09 AM |
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Subject: Should I tell her |
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New WomanSaver
Female Member
Age: 34
Total Posts: 1
Birmingham
Alabama
United States
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Get a life.
Be careful what you put on the internet it just may come back to haunt
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| bubblecropper |
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Posted: 4/9/2009 1:47 PM |
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Subject: Should I tell her |
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WomanSaver MoFo
Female Member
Age: 32
Total Posts: 1565
dublin
Ireland
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| beachgirl20088002 wrote: | | I used to date a guy named Ned Ahnell from Rockille, Maryland. We were together for a long time and I thought things were going really well. Usual story - found out he had been constantly cheating on me. Should have seen the red flags as he had left his wife with a newborn baby but he had such a great story and he was very charming. I found out he just recently left his newest girlfriend because she is pregnant. This girlfriend is not going to go after support as she thinks it is her fault and he didn‘t want the kid anyways. I think she should know about his past. She won‘t talk to me. I know this is meddling but I think she needs to know the kind of guy he is and that he has done this before and continues to do this. Maybe a big child support bill will make him change his ways. |
A big child support bill will not make him change...it will just make him run.
I say move on with your own life and let this lady figure it out herself. She‘s an adult, she can take care of her self. If they were still together and she was in danger or her children were in danger I‘d say meddle away...but she‘s rid of him, she probably just want to move on...
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| Rhiannon |
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Posted: 4/13/2009 6:02 AM |
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Subject: Should I tell her |
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WomanSaver MoFo
Female Member
Age: 0
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Lacey
Washington
United States
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Child support has nothing to do with getting even, settling an old score, or not being able to move on. If you bring a child into the world, you have an obligation to provide for that child. Period.
I would tell her. Let her mull it over in her own mind and decide what to do about it. If she chooses not to pursue child support, then that‘s her decision. She might see the whole situation a whole lot differently when she realizes this is a "pattern" of his. It isn‘t okay to go around making babies and to walk away scot free. Men who don‘t take responsibility piss me off.
It is not "free" to raise a child. If he doesn‘t want to take care of these babies, maybe he needs to think about these things beforehand.
I don‘t see warning someone as being "bad karma." I would rather warn someone - and know that I tried to do the right thing for the right reasons - than to say nothing. Too many women let things go - like DV, or rape, for instance.
After you tell her, then I would say back off, leave it alone, and move on. Then it isn‘t your problem anymore.
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| MommyToBe |
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Posted: 5/24/2009 7:39 PM |
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Subject: Should I tell her |
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New WomanSaver
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Age: 20
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NotTellingMyCity
Indiana
United States
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She will eventually find out, but you should tell her that way she can prepare a little better. Maybe you could send her an anonymous E-mail, since she refuses to talk to you. That way she can respond if she needs to, but will have the facts.
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| zuluetahenry |
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Posted: 5/26/2009 9:51 PM |
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Subject: Should I tell her |
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New WomanSaver
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Age: 25
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chula vista
California
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Tell her and walk away, that‘s the least you can do.Infidelity is really addicting for men so woman should really know the signs of a cheating partner-to-be. It would be hard to detect the symptoms but it helps to read and learn. Try http://www.surviving-infidelity.com/signs-of-infidelity.html
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