WomanSavers.com Forum / MEN'S AREA / Guess I should introduce myself.

No recfent confession.  My discovery, thanks to a journal page she left up on the computer, that she purposely lied to and misled me about her past sexual experience and numbers of partners before we married.  It was nothing I had ever asked but something she brought up several times then severely minimiuzed.

Again, the fact of so blatant a lie is at least as upsetting as the nature of the lie, if not more so.  One of the things that had attracted me to her over the previous five years was my belief that she was the most open and honest person I had ever met.

This has caused a significant drop in both my trust of and respect for her.

Thanks for the welcome!

hey snoopy, thats what you get.

her past is her business and if you were not so busy judging her perhaps she would have told the complete truth.

its none of your business, move on dude before you really hear something from THIRTY FREAKING YEARS AGO that you won‘t like.

do people just sit around dreaming this crap up or what. you really truly have nothing better to fret about??? its none of you business what anyone does before they even knew you.

Hey, Bitterness.  There was no snooping involved.  She left something up on the computer, I went to save and close it for her and the quoted remark was dead-center and obvious.

At issue is the fact that to me it was and remains a matter of morals, values and character and those are timeless.  We‘d known one another for five years before I ever asked her out and she had a real good idea of what mine were.  She pointedly led me to believe she shared them.  Shared values are not a bad thing to have in a marriage in case you‘re wondering.

Let me be real blunt here.  Had I known her "history" before we were married, we probably wouldn‘t be.

I didn‘t ask because I never though it an issue.  She‘s the one who brought it up and kept alluding to it.  That damn sure made it my business and an issue, especially when, early-on, she wanted me to meet and socialize with her former FWB.

I don‘t have to dream this up.  It‘s real.  She made it that way.

hey snoopy, thats what you get.

her past is her business and if you were not so busy judging her perhaps she would have told the complete truth.

its none of your business, move on dude before you really hear something from THIRTY FREAKING YEARS AGO that you won‘t like.

do people just sit around dreaming this crap up or what. you really truly have nothing better to fret about??? its none of you business what anyone does before they even knew you.

its none of you business what anyone does before they even knew you.

Hey, Bitterness.  There was no snooping involved.  She left something up on the computer, I went to save and close it for her and the quoted remark was dead-center and obvious.

At issue is the fact that to me it was and remains a matter of morals, values and character and those are timeless.  We‘d known one another for five years before I ever asked her out and she had a real good idea of what mine were.  She pointedly led me to believe she shared them.  Shared values are not a bad thing to have in a marriage in case you‘re wondering.

Let me be real blunt here.  Had I known her "history" before we were married, we probably wouldn‘t be.

I didn‘t ask because I never though it an issue.  She‘s the one who brought it up and kept alluding to it.  That damn sure made it my business and an issue, especially when, early-on, she wanted me to meet and socialize with her former FWB.

I don‘t have to dream this up.  It‘s real.  She made it that way.

I probably would have though differently about her at the very least and while I would still have valued her friendship I likely wouldn‘t have asked her out.  But then again, if the friendship hadn‘t led to dating which led to marriage, it never would have been an issue or a topic of conversation to begin with.

And, yes.  The lie itself is worse, in my mind, than the content.  The ex was, as it turned out, a pathological liar.  Living with that does make one rather sensitive thereafter.