WomanSavers.com Forum / MEN'S AREA / A question for men only.

I have always been an emotiional person but lately  find myself with tears in my eyes for every damn thing that comes along.  Whatsup with that?  How long will this uncontrolled emotion showup?  Is it a sign of the pain I am experiencing from my wifes confession to the affair?  I don‘t mind the tears.  And I can cry in front of a large crowd without hesitation, does‘nt bother me.  It‘s been that way forever.   Lately it is just  a pin drops brings tears to my eyes.  Just a little undetstanding and explanation of why and how long will this last? 

^ 5‘s Guys!    Thanks!

we seem to be short of men around here just now. i am sure mr. true blue and png will show up soon.

in the mean time, this is the section where men ask for women‘s advice.

so i won‘t let the caption of your thread stand in my way since i seem to remember you visting the woman‘s only section a time or two.

so here it is: yes. you are sad. you have had a major blow to your psyche not to mention your manhood and self-esteem.

its called grieving. it takes a long long time to put something like this behind you, whether the marriage holds or not.

 Why can‘t you just let it go?" 

take her hand, tell her: "  i want to let it go and as soon as i can, i will.

you won‘t want to hear this.  when i heard it, my first thought was, blow it out ya ass:

it takes 2 years.

See, this right here is what I am talking about when I advice divorce in the face of infidelity.

You had talked about everything being a learning experience and that you and your wife were on the mend.

But here you are now with these feelings of despair.  That is the damage that is caused by cheating and these feelings will come back from time to time.  If you think you can handle that, then proceed as before.

If not, then the only way to ditch these reoccuring feelings is to get rid of the source of your pain....and that source is your wife.  I know divorce is a hard pill to swallow and nothing someone wants to think about.

but the alternative is what you are going through.  Like I said, if you don‘t want to divorce and can handle repeating what you are going through now from time to time, then stay with her.

Otherwise, lance that boil.

Well what that will do is show her that she has him wrapped around her little finger and if she cheats again, she can get away with it.

She needs to know that he is angry about this, if he is actually angry about it.

If all she sees is a cowering puppy dog, she‘ll be empowered and knows she can call the shots.

many women on this website have stayed in their marriages to work it out.

i don‘t think asking for more time makes don a wimp or gives her the power.

don confronted the cheaters. she has shown remorse and they have gone to counseling.

you can not move forward dragging the baggage with you.

his asking for more time to let go doesn‘t give her anything other then the indication that its taking longer for him then her.

if you love your spouse and agree to forgive then both of you have to work on the "forgetting‘ part.

i still don‘t know everything that went on with cakeman and i for one don‘t want the details.

some women seem to want to know every single detail so that there is nothing private between their husbands and the other woman anymore. i understand that.

i don‘t love my ex and i have no wish to know. those two can go fly a kite if they can muster up enough money to buy one.

You are right.  Simply asking for more time does not make him a wimp.

But he has to be careful in the way he says it, if he does it like some whipped puppy dog, then he‘ll come off as weak and she will realize that she DOES have power over him.

He needs to convey to her about needing more time, but in a strong upright way.

The way you put it makes it look like is willing to take whatever punishment.  If someone cheats and the reaction from their so-called "loved one" is that of a "wimp", then they will realize they have them wrapped around their finger.

All I am saying is if someone takes back a cheater and is having problems shaking the betrayal from their mind, conveying that they need more time is fine, just like you said.

But you don‘t ask for more time, you simply tell them they need to be patient and have some understanding.

Nobody should have to "ask" for understanding from a cheater.

you really think anyone ever "forgets" being betrayed?

They can work on things to where its not thought about on a daily basis, but make no mistake, it will never be forgotten.

you repeated yourself don

I was merely asking the men, but evidentally they  have not read this, can‘t relate, had not emotions or just don‘t want to talk with me,

still trying to figure that one out myself man. hit me back if you find out before me.

M