WomanSavers.com Forum / INSPIRATION FOR WOMEN / Why do you belive in marriage ?

According to this poll on this site, more than 80% of women here believes in marriage

http://www.womansavers.com/p_pollresults.asp?pID=45

How many of you who believes in marriage actually is married for the first time and happy as well ? Isn‘t just fairy tale ?

I think women want to believe the fairytale. Some women get it...most do not...But it‘s such a great thing when there is a happy marriage.

I personally do not believe marriage is ever going to be right for me...I guess I‘m in the 20%...But I do see the appeal it has for men and women...If you meet the right person for you ...

"But it‘s such a great thing when there is a happy marriage."

It really is. Just one generation ago things were so much better. I have dozens of uncles and most of them are married for 20 or 30 years... People today can‘t even even make it last for 10...

"I personally do not believe marriage is ever going to be right for me...I guess I‘m in the 20%...But I do see the appeal it has for men and women...If you meet the right person for you ..."

The problem is, how do you know ?

I think the reason marriages don‘t last like they used to is the second a couple hits a rough patch it‘s straight to filing divorce papers.... 20 years ago when they said "for better or for worse" they meant it...Now when people get married they go into the marriage with the thought "well, if this doesn‘t work out we‘ll just get a divorce"

My parents have been married 35 plus years...going by today‘s standards...they would have gotten divorced 5 times...But instead they stuck together and worked through it...Like a marriage is meant to work!!

I guess i‘ll never know for sure why marriage doesn‘t personally appeal to me...I think it‘s because many people in my life are on their 2nd and 3rd...It just doesn‘t seem special/sacred to me.

I‘m in a realtionship...and believe in partnership...But do not plan on children...and don‘t see the point in marrying him...espeically since I‘m on the younger side...and may change my ideals/morals/goals...and he might too...so the great fit we are now, may not fit in the future...

My parents split up when I was 3.  They were never married.  I‘ve never seen positive interaction between them, ever.  My mother never remarried; just dated a physically violent and unstable man for the next 7 years.  She‘d still be with him if he wasn‘t in jail on a murder charge.  My father married a crackhead, then they got divorced after having 2 children together.

My great-grandmother was married for 65 years until being widowed just recently.  My grandmother (her daugher), on the other hand has been divorced 4 times in her life.

Marriage for me?  Hell no.  F*** no.  And many other expletives followed by "no".

Dude, your family is quite ****ed up.

But I guess that‘s America...

That‘s not just America...That‘s everywhere.

Some of us are just luckier than others. Thanks Wire for sharing.

Do you really live in Brazil?

Most of where I‘ve been there looks worse than some of the very worse ghettos of Los Angeles or New York.

I am not defending US...We have some of the worse financial and other misc epidemics...BUT we have a higher potential for greatness and success than your country...

It‘s a choice. Maybe you haven‘y heard any good success stories?

Or maybe just plain negative?

Yes, I do live in Brazil.

"Most of where I‘ve been there looks worse than some of the very worse ghettos of Los Angeles or New York."

I am not talking about economic situation. Of course, Brazil is the 6 or 7 economy in the world, not the first, like américa, so it‘s kind of obvious most of américa look better than most of Brazil. And you obciously haven‘t seen the good places, then, maybe you should go to better places here, not where is cheap to stay.

"I am not defending US...We have some of the worse financial and other misc epidemics...BUT we have a higher potential for greatness and success than your country..."

Economic success, yes, not for a long difference, but I don‘t think you know the exactly specifics of the economic situation of either country, your first sentence already shows that you have a stereotype image of Brazil in your head. Besides, to do that, you need oil that comes from countries like Saudi Arabia, Iraq or Venezuela. That‘s why billions are spent on military intervention on countries like that. and also that is why I said that americans have a materialistic view of the world, and the girl in the video say that too. When you said success, you say money, money and money, it doesn‘t matter if the guy is overweight or with any kind of problems that doesn‘t relate to money. For example, by your logic, Britney spears is very successfull, even though she is divorced in her 20, lost her kids to an total idiot, and have been to rehab tons of times. Lindsay lohan would be "successfull" too, George Bush is successfull too, so on and on. Money is necessary, but is not everything.

And I am not talking about nothing economic. Certainly, it‘s easier to have a good life in América, but also it‘s much easier to be divorced, fat, addicted to alcohol or drugs than it is, let‘s say, in Jordan. And even with all the economics, América is a champion on certain degenerative health problems, like diabetes, hearth problems or cancer, much probably because of all the junk food. And that‘s just statistics, not me saying.

unfortunately, América exports it‘s influence trhough all the world, through music, movies, and business like mcdonalds, so pretty much most of the world are becoming more and more like américa these days.

"It‘s a choice. Maybe you haven‘y heard any good success stories?Or maybe just plain negative?"

Success stories exist everywhere. What is your point ? The girl in the video is american too. have you seen the video ?

You‘re missing my point...the point is that this kind of abuse happens all over the world including where you live too. To blame the US for Wire‘s childhood is very closed minded. Trust me there are similar stories all over the world. I don‘t care where you go...

The topic was marriage not who‘s country has more problems...

"You‘re missing my point...the point is that this kind of abuse happens all over the world including where you live too. To blame the US for Wire‘s childhood is very closed minded. Trust me there are similar stories all over the world. I don‘t care where you go..."

Yeah, this can happen all over the world, but when I said that earlier I was talking about a general situation. For example, if América has a 50% rate of divorce, while Venezuela has 20%, of course it‘s more likely that an American is divorced when compared to a someone in Venezuela. More than twice as much. It‘s about the place you are. If 20% of the population in India lives with less than 1 dollar a day, of course it‘s more probable to find an Indian who is miserable then an American. And of course, there are more chances of you geting blown up by a road side bomb if you are in Iraq than in Germain.

‘‘The topic was marriage not who‘s country has more problems...‘‘

I do agree that is not apropriate to discuss such things here, so we better let this go.

Back to marriage...

Another thought I had about it...being in my late 20‘s and having many friends go that route...I feel like alot of what they look forward to is material...The ring, cake, dress, make-up, gifts...etc.

It seems like that‘s alot of where the excitement stems from...I know they love their boyfriends...but are they MORE excited for all that comes with the wedding vs the marriage itself?

Sometimes I think so...

Not always...I have friends that have gone into debt over it.

May only be valid in MY country

Obviously, Africanguy is very anti-American and has stereotypical views about what "all" Americans are like.

Yes, I, too, thought the topic was why do we believe in marriage?

Hmm...maybe what should be offered up is links to surveys taken by Brazilians.  Maybe you should stick to the home turf, Africanguy, instead of going out of your way to insult American women - on a women‘s website no less!

 Obviously, Africanguy is very anti-American and has stereotypical views about what "all" Americans are like.

ALL ? Not at all. I am kinda anti- Américan. But what can I say, its very common from someone withmy background. But we all have our prejudices

I do agree that I should not have brought this view to this topic, though. And I will not bring it up again.

And I do agree with most of what this woman has to say.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PkiYTAVWZpg&feature=channel_page

Yes, I, too, thought the topic was why do we believe in marriage?Hmm...maybe what should be offered up is links to surveys taken by Brazilians. 

I would find that very informative. I do follow statistics from many international institutes, including from my country, and I enjoy this kind of thing.

Maybe you should stick to the home turf, Africanguy, instead of going out of your way to insult American women - on a women‘s website no less!

If I made an offense was maybe to Americans in general, not to American women. Could you quote what comment you felt like an offense ? Maybe you just misunderstood what I mean.