WomanSavers.com Forum / INSPIRATION FOR WOMEN / My "HE CHEATED" Story

Okay, so here is my story…

My husband and I have had a pretty solid relationship for the past seven years.  Like any other married couple we have our ups and downs but overall I would give us about a B grade. Anyway, about 6 months ago, my husband started coming home a bit later than usual on a consistent basis, so of coarse my cheater radar started signaling. 

I decided to check his cell phone looking for any unusual numbers or texts, but found NOTHING.  So I began calling him a bit more at work very randomly, not so much where I would draw his attention but enough at odd times to verify if he was where he was supposed to be.  So at this point, I‘m a little confused and I‘m starting to feel guilty, because I know something is up, but since I can‘t prove it I feel like I‘m wrong for even thinking of him like that. So I tried to let it go!! But then one random late evening after another, I started noticing a perfume scent that I KNOW WAS NOT MINE!!  So one day he calls me from work and tells me that he will be staying a little late AGAIN, so I say okay and we hung up. He then texts me and tells me that he wont be having dinner, he‘ll just get some take out.  So I can go ahead and eat instead of waiting for him and he‘ll have the left over for lunch tomorrow. 

Normally, I cook dinner and wait for him to come home so we can eat together so I text him back asking him if he really doesn‘t want me to cook dinner and on top of that wants me to have dinner alone. He text me back telling me never mind I can cook dinner and wait until he gets home. At this point you know that internally I was out of control because suspicions and doubts about his faith to me were at an all time high! 

I thought I would take advantage of the situation and just let my doubts out and ask him if he was having an affair with another woman. So I made dinner accordingly assuming that he would be home two hours later than regular. I sat there, waiting for two and a half f***in hours and he is not home yet.  I decided to call him at work and of coarse he was there!!! He told me that he is still busy and he will call me back. I ended up going to bed because I got tired of waiting on him for almost five hours. 

So the next day, he‘s home at his usual time and I played calm to avoid any arguments, I cannot tell you how tough it was, because the only thing I wanted to do is stab the bastard.  Forgive Me God!?!  So we’re eating dinner and before I even knew it, the words just came out of my mouth Are you cheating on me?  He looked at me like I was absolutely crazy and said NO!  He told me he loved me and said he would never do such a thing. So I asked him about the way he smelled everyday he came home and he told me that there was a new nurse in his department that wore a loud perfume and that he had nothing to do with it. I asked him one more time and told him if he was sure of what he was saying and he said he was 100% positive. 

Now here is the saddest part of the story. Him telling me no actually made me feel better, even though deep inside me I didn‘t believe him.  Can anyone make sense of that??? 

Anyways, my best friend of course knew about the whole situation and she called me up one day and told me about this website she called "www.gurltalkktv.com" that had released a DVD called "The Cheating Truth" She continued to tell me about the guy who runs gurltalkktv and that he‘s pretty popular because of the unfiltered advice he offers women about relationships and he could probably help me out.  So I asked her do you think he or his video can really help me.  And she said, by all the women who support and write to him, I can only imagine yes, plus he‘s so honest, it’s what we need at times.  So at this point, I‘M IN and I WANT IT BAD, but there is no way I can order a DVD about cheating with my husbands credit card so of coarse I asked her if she can put it on her credit card and that I would pay her later. So anyways, the DVD arrives at my best friend‘s address and I go over there and we watch it together. Now what was so funny is that after it ended, we both sat there in silence and when we looked at each other we just started laughing so hard, cause of how quiet it made the both of us.  Honestly it was awesome and she said, I told you he was good.  Lol Anyway, I ended up bringing it back home with me and hid it in one of my shoe boxes.  I decided that I was going to watch it with my husband, but just wanted to wait until the time felt right.  

About a week later, I called him up at work and asked him if he wouldn‘t mind if we sat down at home and watched a DVD my friend gave me about relationships and he said it was fine. So I made his favorite dinner and waited on him and as soon as he came home, I pressed play.  Now you know I‘ve already seen it so I honestly wasn‘t even watching it, I was listening and WATCHING HIM.  I wanted to watch his reaction as he was listening to what was being said. The whole time I was watching him, he was nodding his head agreeing with what was being said.  And what threw me for a loop is that he began nodding at things during the movie that I thought he NEVER WOULD.  Just when you think you know everything about a person, you learn that you do not.  Anyway after the DVD was over, I wanted to have an honest conversation like the DVD suggested, but he was just sitting there in silence.  I nudged him and asked him if he was okay and he said yeah, just thinking.  I said, about what? He said he was thinking about everything he heard.  

Now with the way he was acting, I began to feel if he was gonna tell me something I didn‘t want to hear and I started feeling nauseous. But I felt like it was now or never so I asked him one more time, if he cheating on me. I was so scared of hearing the truth but I still wanted to know because it was killing me inside. 

He told me that he always promised to tell me the truth but sometimes I might not be too happy hearing the truth. By then I knew he cheated but I still waited for the answer and I was fighting back my tears, I felt sad, betrayed, angry and so stupid for ever believing that he never would cheat on me. He was quiet for five minutes looking away and I was quiet as I starred at him. Finally, after what felt like an hour, he looked at me and told me that he was actually having an affair with his nurse.  He said he wanted to tell me because how much he believed in being honest, but how could he.  He said, how do I tell the one person I most love in the world that I failed.  

Now I was so upset, that I slapped him. I‘ve never hit him before and I started crying.  All the suspicious stress came pouring out of me.  There was so much that I wanted to say to him, but all I can do was cry.  I told him that I thought he was a better man than that and he‘ll never know how much it hurts me to be so wrong.  

I asked him what was it about the movie that made him tell me the truth and he said, because the guy was right and I felt like that you could see through me.  He undressed my bullsh*t and there I was, another cheating husband.  

I don‘t know what it was about those words he said that made me feel so happy.  But I think it was that he understood that he had dethroned himself in my eyes.  Anyway, to make a long story short, he gave me the usual routine of he‘d never do it again, and I eventually said we will try to move on.