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| HurtKathryn |
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Posted: 6/29/2008 4:20 PM |
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Subject: What is wrong with me!? I miss him. |
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New WomanSaver
Female Member
Age: 48
Total Posts: 1
Scottsdale
Arizona
United States
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Hi all,
Just found this site. I sure could have used it when I was right in the middle of my abusive relationship, but since I am still confused, I am glad to be here!
My (former) abuser is very charming and does homeless outreach for a living (mental health stuff and how altruistic. Says he‘s doing Gods work and he treated me like dirt). At any rate, knowing him was over a period of a couple of years. We were on again off again - maybe never really together. He lied, he more than likely cheated (we had sex 4 times in 18 months) and was I think sadistic.
I reached out to him this February of this year thinking we could be friends and of course I was wrong. In April things ended for good. My problem is I miss him. I thought he was the one. He is the ONLY person in my life that really made me want to live. I wanted to quit smoking, etc so I could spend many years with him.
He was the worst man in terms of how he treated me yet I find myself not able to move past things. What is wrong with me? How do I stop missing him?
Thanks,
HK
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| supermom21664 |
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Posted: 6/29/2008 7:25 PM |
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Subject: What is wrong with me!? I miss him. |
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WomanSaver MoFo
Female Member
Age: 54
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Total Posts: 1420
Greenbeau
Alabama
United States
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HI Hurt. Have you thought about counseling? Maybe you should give that a shot.
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| uberbeotch |
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Posted: 6/29/2008 9:40 PM |
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Subject: What is wrong with me!? I miss him. |
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WomanSaver MoFo
Female Member
Age: 478
Total Posts: 1240
In a Dark Castle
Belarus
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I think counseling or a support group would be helpful to you. Also, TIME & NO CONTACT.
Erase all emails & messages he sent you or you sent him, block his phone numbers & emails, make sure there is no easy way for him to contact you. Set up a couple of your gf‘s you can call if you feel like calling him.
And just give yourself time. The longer you are away from him, the better you will feel. You will miss some of the good things, sure, but it will pass. Make a list of all the reasons why you are NOT together & read it to yourself when you start to miss him. I guaranty that will help!
Keep posting here, and good luck!
UB
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| lovingme |
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Posted: 7/5/2008 9:57 PM |
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Subject: What is wrong with me!? I miss him. |
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WomanSaver Lurker
Female Member
Age: 41
Total Posts: 20
charlotte
North Carolina
United States
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 Okay, so what is treating you like dirt? My ex says similiar things about me ( I am a Christian and enjoy serving people and doing "God‘s Work), however, my ex is not into doing "God‘s Work" and hates when I am away from him because I am taking care of other people.
My ex is very manipulating and when I expose his motives he says I am mistreating him, when in actuality I am trying to explain to him our differences and why we had the problems we had. I did not desire to be with him much because our lack of compatibility made conversation and other things very strained and pretentious.
He was very accomodating, and attentive. For those qualities, I would miss him at times. Then I would remember it is those qualities that show his motives and true nature and cause us to "clash". We are friends but he always "wants to try it again" I on the other hand realize that I need something different to stay balanced and at peace.
Maybe, you are attracted to the qualities in him that comfort you but when you add the rest of him it does not work. What do you miss about him. And, if you met someone else (decent) would you still miss him? Maybe, he is not Mr. Right-just Mr. Right Now.
Mingle, make more friends and you will find he is not all you thought he was. Be Blessed.
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