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| maryrb |
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Posted: 1/14/2008 11:03 PM |
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Subject: why wont he stop??? |
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New WomanSaver
Female Member
Age: 33
Total Posts: 4
knoxville
Tennessee
United States
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 my husband of 6 years continually has phone numbers on his phione bill he is calling, numbers in his wallet, the biggest newest thing is internet dating sights. he goes to these sights puts in that he is seperated and goes to town. there is even one that he went on that is for married or attached people, to get what they are missing at home. he says its to test me to c if i am keeping tabs on him. i have caught him once for sure only because i talked to the girl myself, when our son was 4weeks old. then i recently found some old e-mails on an old sight to other women from the beginning of our relationship until 1 year ago. then there is the recent single sights where he puts these profiles on there of whwt he wants and is looking for. which is everything he tells me i am. it really breaks my heart!i have also caught him text mailing other women about sexual contact he always lies and says they were to me. funny i never get them. i just do not understand im a pretty womwn at leaset everyone tells me i am i have lost 40 pounds and am toning up pretty nicely. i have been wanting sex daily and he actually turns me down. our sex life has always been hot. so y does he do this . its killing me inside. its ripping my heart out. we have 4 kids 3 whom he adopted that were mine and 1 together. i could not bear to hurt my kids by divorcing our 5 year old would be devestated, but i do not know how much longer i can survive this terrible hurt and pain im feeling. you would think by now i would be used to it but everytime is a new blow. i sit here now with tears streaming down my face. im desperate for help. ive ask him to go to counceling he said he does not need it. if i would stop snooping we would stop fighting. gee i quess so. there has only been a few times he was unaccounted for and would not answer his phone. the one i caught him with was obvious he was out until 2 a.m. and got off work at 6p.m. but since it has only been a couple of times for a short span of time. he tells me all the time he is 38 years old and doesn‘t need a mother. if i would just stop trying to b his mother and let him have some freedom he would stop. then ill cancel out a sight and he will reopen it under a different password or email. so what is the deal with continuing to try so hard to hide it from me if its to only to "try and break me" so i will stop telling him what he can and cant do. he swares he loves me and that i am what he wants and that im beautiful and that im enough 4 him, then y does he do this. he is sending messages to these women. is it all just an ego trip to him and he never intends on meeting them? or does he and just wants some strange. what am i going to do? im starting to prepare myself for the worst now maybe if i start distancing myself nown the pain will not be so mad when it happens. divorce i mean it is almost inevitable. he recently started working in law enforcement and since then he has to work 3rd shift and we r never together and he never gets to go to church with us any more, things have gotten 1000x worse since he started this job 7months ago. someone please HELP ME!!!!!!
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| me4life |
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Posted: 1/20/2008 9:42 AM |
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Subject: why wont he stop??? |
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WomanSaver Regular
Female Member
Age: 23
Total Posts: 97
Charlotte
North Carolina
United States
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I hate to say this but I think he is cheating or thinking of it. No matter what-what about you? Your kids? I know you try to stay together for the kids, cause you love him, etc. But some of these men are just losers. Selfish losers-who dont even consider who they hurt. I know you‘re probably going out of your mind trying to make things right, get him closer-whatever. But the problem is HIM-nothing to do with you. What else can you possibly do to keep him? I would distance myself somewhat also. Hard to do. But maybe if he thinks he‘s got something to lose then maybe he‘ll get his senses back together. If not, you have lost nothing much-you will hurt-you are already hurting. Rejection is hard. good luck
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| Tiredmomma |
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Posted: 1/20/2008 2:18 PM |
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Subject: why wont he stop??? |
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WomanSaver MoFo
Female Member
Age: 38
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Total Posts: 1959
Right over here
Texas
United States
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Staying for the children is not always the best idea. For you or the children. To watch their daddy WALK all over their mother does not go unnoticed by kids. They are sharp. I can understand being a single mom is a scary scary thought, but really being used as a door mat is not a better thoughts.
IF you wish to stay with him you will need to tell him enough. You need to set some limitations. You need to communicate to him what you find acceptable and what is not. You need to stick by it. He‘s not doing it to "test" you. He‘s doing it cause he can. Blaming you is just icing on the cake.
Maybe kick him out of the house for a few months till he can see how hurtful his actions are. If he doesn‘t get it, then you are already halfways there.
I‘m sorry he‘s being such an @ss.
TM
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