WomanSavers.com Forum / INSPIRATION FOR WOMEN / My husband sent emails to prostitutes

So I had to use my home computer for work, and I found that my husband was using another email account to correspond with woman from ecort services.  He travels a lot for work.  I found emails of him telling them where he was staying and what time to meet him.  He swears he never actually saw them!!!   Now I am trying to find out how much money he spent on these woman.  This was going on for 4 years.  How come we are so trusting of our men?  I never thought when he would travel that he would be seeing prostitutes.  I have two young childen, and it is so difficult.  Now that he is caught, he says he will change.  How can you do this to your family?  I am seeing a therapist.  He is seeing one also.  We are going to see one together, for marriage counseling.  That shouldn‘t take too long, because if you don‘t have trust, you don‘t have a marriage.  I don‘t know what to do about my children.  They will be devastated.  I am thinking of divorce.  I don‘t really see any other way.  Doe anyone have any advise?

Mom of 2

Wow, how shitty. I can‘t believe what some men do!

Well, if you want to try to rebuild your relationship, AND HE IS WILLING TO BEND OVER BACKWARDS, go to couples counseling and see how that goes. Remember, HE is the one who did the cheating, not you, so it‘s really up to him to jump thru hoops for your relationship.

He‘s got to be totally accountable for everything - money spent, time away from you, stuff on the computer. I‘d put the home computer in a public place, and install a keylogger. If you have access to his work laptop, put a keylogger on there too. No erasing of histories, no visiting porn sites, chat rooms, escort services, etc. He‘s got to be 100% squeaky clean. No fuck ups!

I have ZERO TOLERANCE. If it were me, I‘d dump his ass so fast his head would spin. I know you have kids, and that‘s hard, but they don‘t need to grow up with a Dad who visits hookers. Not a good example for them.

I‘m sure some of the other ladies here can share their experience, strength & hope with you too.

You don‘t have to make a decision today. But you should make an appt. for a FULL STD PANEL, as should he. RIGHT AWAY. Fucking asshole sticking his dick in hookers, then coming home to you. GRRRRRR!!!!

Wishing you the best,
UB

At least your husband is willing to seek therapy. My husband doesn‘t think he has a "problem". He thinks all therapists are crazy. Imagine that?

when they make an effort to make up for what they did, then that says a lot, that‘s what i think anyway, maybe that is because i feel he hasn‘t done that for me. to my way of thinking he should be begging me for my forgiveness and not just expecting me to forgive him. and yes i think he should be jumping through bloody hoops to please me. but in saying that he is (and always has been) one of those dick heads who would rather bury the problem and his head so far up his a-se, that he can‘t see daylight let alone anything else. he just wants it to all go away.

he shouldn‘t have f-cked someone else and he wouldn‘t have anything to run away from.

but i guess not everyone thinks like i do, if you make a mistake or do something wrong then own up to it, face what you have done and cop your punishment, and most of all be and show sorrow for what you have done. if you don‘t then chances are you aren‘t sorry.

you could always do what i think about doing everyday. that is telling him "Grow some balls and have the guts to say you don‘t love me  and fu-k off out of here, admit to yourself that you don‘t f--king want to be here."

easier to think than to actually come right out and say.

This is a tough one...

But I think its a good sign that he is willing to go to counseling. I had an ex with an awful anger issue and he refused to get any type of therapy, he blamed his anger on me. The fact that your husband is willing to accept the counseling would show me that he is serious about trying to rebuild things.

However, the trust in this relationship is obviously broken now and that is going to be tough to fix because now every time he goes on any business trips you will assume he is seeing another hooker...And I dont blame you!!!

I agree with the other poster who says if you are going to give him a 2nd chance you should put a keylogger on your PC. That way, even if he tries to be slick and create a new email address you can find it. And if you see him going back to his old ways you will know he is not being sincere about trying to save the marriage...

Wish I could give you a huge hug, because I know how you feel... Its the worst feeling in the world

Beloved remember 1st lady Clinton then 1st lady silda spitzer of New york state they found out their husband were cheating -- and they took a serious look at there marriage before they chose divorce (neither did)

take a breath and breathe you can divorce him today or next week or next month

ask yourself do you love him

does his good outweight the bad

after all the imagination and mind struggle what is your heart of heart telling you ,Is he willing to work hard on the marriage be totally accountable to take you with him if not possible take only the cash he need be accountable for the credit spendiing . ask all the questions you need to ask at counseling ask the same question 10times if you must --i know it hurts and i know personally the mind and heart struggle but we said for better or worst --in sickness and health -worst infidelity sickness prostitues now that the sickness has been identified can it be cured is the ill p erson seeking treatment --i am praying for you be strong cry if you must but know you are not to blame he identified his selfishness, weakness and decietfullness ---