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| perpetualdawn |
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Posted: 7/18/2010 10:43 AM |
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Subject: is there a way to get guy to change his mind after a break up? |
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WomanSaver Addict
Female Member
Age: 34
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Total Posts: 109
new york
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| shally |
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Posted: 7/18/2010 12:22 PM |
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Subject: is there a way to get guy to change his mind after a break up? |
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WomanSaver MoFo
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Age: 3
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Never try to convince a man to love you want you desire you.
Believe a man in is most honest moments when he tells you his truths.
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| perpetualdawn |
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Posted: 7/18/2010 5:02 PM |
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Subject: is there a way to get guy to change his mind after a break up? |
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WomanSaver Addict
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Age: 34
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I love this man so much I fear that I ruined the relationship out of self hate and self sabatoge. I‘m so sad this man was the best one I ever met but he wasn‘t perfict and I drove him away I was also to lovey Dovy. Please help me I know there must be some way. I live with him and he say‘s I can stay here while I look for somewhere to go.
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| Sunny fl |
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Posted: 7/18/2010 6:12 PM |
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Subject: is there a way to get guy to change his mind after a break up? |
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WomanSaver MoFo
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Age: 40
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sunshine and daisies
Wyoming
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| perpetualdawn wrote: | | I love this man so much I fear that I ruined the relationship out of self hate and self sabatoge. I‘m so sad this man was the best one I ever met but he wasn‘t perfict and I drove him away I was also to lovey Dovy. Please help me I know there must be some way. I live with him and he say‘s I can stay here while I look for somewhere to go. |
Why would you want to be with a man that wants you to move out?
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| perpetualdawn |
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Posted: 7/18/2010 7:47 PM |
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Subject: is there a way to get guy to change his mind after a break up? |
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WomanSaver Addict
Female Member
Age: 34
Total Posts: 109
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I love him so much that with in an hour away from him I hurt. And I love our home and our lives together.I fear I sabatoged the relationship because of my craziness and I want a chance to make him happy. I know I can I‘ve worked so hard on myself im in two types of therapy pluss groups. I have no family and became part of his. for the first time in years I‘m felt cared about maybe the first time ever. I know there are way‘s and I‘m open to anythign
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| shally |
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Posted: 7/19/2010 12:21 PM |
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Subject: is there a way to get guy to change his mind after a break up? |
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WomanSaver MoFo
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Age: 3
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dawn, we‘ve talked about this before. Give the man his space and for a time be on your own. Take care of you, love you. A man is a want not a need. When you are whole and healthy you will attract a whole and healthy man until then you are going to continue getting your heart broke.
Give to yourself what you want a man to give you. Never NEED a man. The feeling of love you are looking for is right there inside of you. I know your desire to share your love is strong, you‘re a woman with a soul full of love. Put men on the back burner seek within yourself for a time. Being alone isn‘t a bad thing, it is a time of self discovery. Heal those wounds, dawn before you enter into another relationship. Please. Love ya, I answered your pm. xoxoxoxxoxoxo
If he is the one for you, then he‘ll be back in your life until then let him go. Listen to him, really listen.
Remember that, Let It Go by T.D. Jakes? You‘ve got to not only read it but heed it.
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| uberbeotch |
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Posted: 7/20/2010 12:28 PM |
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Subject: is there a way to get guy to change his mind after a break up? |
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WomanSaver MoFo
Female Member
Age: 489
Total Posts: 1269
In a Dark Castle
Belarus
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Ditto what Shally & the others said. We‘ve told you this many times before. Take it from us older, wiser ladies who have been thru it and know what it took....
What I‘m going to say below are things I realized about MYSELF & steps I took to heal and grow. I actually did these things, and they really helped me. Read them with an open mind & heart:
* You are WAY too needy to be able to fully participate in and experience a healthy relationship. You really should stay away from men & dating!
* You need to be ON YOUR OWN for a long time, so you can experience some personal growth and self-reliance. I don‘t know how long it will take - at least a couple years, maybe more.
* Being on your own does NOT mean being alone, but you do need to fill your life with friends, family, work and activities that are supportive, meaningful and fulfilling.
- good FEMALE friends who are emotionally healthy (at least 1 good friend will suffice!)
- family members who are loving & supportive
- work that meets your financial needs and is satisfying - you feel like you accomplished something positive at the end of the day.
- activities & hobbies that are fun, relaxing, physically challenging, whatever. Could be volunteer work, taking an art or cooking class, join a local walking club, ANYTHING that will get you out and in the company of people who are interested in the same things you are. Might be best to stick with activites that are more female oriented, so you learn to develop friendships with women and don‘t have to worry about men hitting on you or something.
- It‘s OK to be FRIENDS with guys, but if they do hit on you just say "thanks, but I‘m not dating right now."
- Also some therapy or a 12-step group would be helpful. 12-step groups are FREE and many cities have several meetings a week. If you are in NYC or lose by, I am sure there are many meetings you could attend.
- For you, I would recommend SLAA (Sex & Love Addicts Anonymous) and/or CODA (Codependents Anonymous). Relationships Anonymous, if you can find meetings in your area. If nothing else, join Al-Anon. Women‘s Meetings of these groups are best. Get a female Sponsor & start working the 12 Steps - they are steps of self-examination, personal growth & change.
Some of the most peaceful and fulfilling times of my life were when I was NOT in a relationship. I had many friends, lots of activities, and I was living my life, learning & growing, 1 day at a time.
If you can take the 1st Step, if you can admit this to yourself, you are already on your way to a better life:
Step 1 - We admitted we were powerless over __________ (myself, men, relationships, people, alcohol, drugs, food, shopping, whatever), and our lives had become unmanageable.
Peace,
UB
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| Moogleangelgirl |
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Posted: 7/20/2010 4:31 PM |
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Subject: is there a way to get guy to change his mind after a break up? |
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WomanSaver MoFo
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Age: 33
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As a person who has always fought with low self esteem, I feel your pain here. When you say self hate, I see myself in some past relationships. In my opinion, and please take this with a grain of salt, This smacks more of obsession than actual love. I have been there myself and it is not a happy place. The words "painful" and "confusing" do not even begin to paint that picture clearly.
Is this the same man you wrote about before?
You cannot, I repeat, CANNOT Make a man love you if he doesn‘t LIKE who you are. You can manipulate him with feelings of guilt, you can confuse him with mind games, but that is all false and therein lies no true love. Sure, it will give you some extra time with him, but if he really doesn‘t love you, then his eyes will wander and he will forever be seeking the one he is "supposed" to be with. You, too, will possibly be missing out on someone who could really make you feel loved and cherished. You will always have trust issues going that route.
I am, by nature, a clingy person. I need love and cuddles and lots of it. I have been in a relationship or 2 that the man doesn‘t like clingy women. You don‘t belong in that place. You need someone that will take that loving nature and appreciate it.
Tie yourself to no one right now, The ladies above gave you some excellent advice. Do yourself a favor and take it.
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| Moaning Myrtle |
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Posted: 7/20/2010 4:42 PM |
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Subject: is there a way to get guy to change his mind after a break up? |
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WomanSaver Addict
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Age: 0
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The Second City of the Empire
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Moogie it is great to see you back!!
How are you feeling?
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| Moogleangelgirl |
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Posted: 7/20/2010 4:52 PM |
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Subject: is there a way to get guy to change his mind after a break up? |
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WomanSaver MoFo
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Age: 33
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| Moaning Myrtle wrote: | Moogie it is great to see you back!!
How are you feeling?
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I‘m doing better now. I just needed some time. Thanks for asking :)
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| Moaning Myrtle |
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Posted: 7/20/2010 5:09 PM |
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Subject: is there a way to get guy to change his mind after a break up? |
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WomanSaver Addict
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| Moogleangelgirl wrote: |
| Moaning Myrtle wrote: | Moogie it is great to see you back!!
How are you feeling?
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I‘m doing better now. I just needed some time. Thanks for asking :)
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I am glad you are feeling better. :)
I love that cute bear animation in your post.
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| perpetualdawn |
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Posted: 7/22/2010 1:19 AM |
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Subject: is there a way to get guy to change his mind after a break up? |
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WomanSaver Addict
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Age: 34
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I an in three different types of therapy and in three 12 step groups. I‘ve been alone for so long. I really really love this man. I don‘t know how to leave my love and my home I did so many things wrong and I want a chance to do it right. Can‘t walk away from the best thing that ever happened to me. I‘ve no family he said he wantede to be my family. Took care of me and my pet. We feel thrown in the garbage by the person I love the most and I can‘t bare it. There must be some other way.
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| shally |
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Posted: 7/22/2010 8:16 AM |
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Subject: is there a way to get guy to change his mind after a break up? |
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WomanSaver MoFo
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Age: 3
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dawn, you‘re a grown woman. You don‘t need taken care of. All of those feelings are coming from a need in you that only you can fill. You need to take care of you, not be dependent on a man to do it.
I understand the desire to love and want to be loved, I get that, it‘s who we are as women. At the very core of our soul we want to be delighted in. But dawn you have to be healthy in order to form a healthy relationship.
In all the time I‘ve known you I have never known you to be alone, you have always been with a man. Be with you. Please read ubers post again and again till it sinks in.
Maybe you are in therapy overload.
Seriously do you take a walk in nature daily?
Besides a man, what does your heart desire?
xxxxxxx
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| perpetualdawn |
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Posted: 7/22/2010 11:37 AM |
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Subject: is there a way to get guy to change his mind after a break up? |
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WomanSaver Addict
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Age: 34
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I wanted a sucseful career financial freedom and more pets. I want a family I don‘t mean kids I want people I‘m realated to to love me and not hate me.
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| shally |
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Posted: 7/22/2010 1:02 PM |
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Subject: is there a way to get guy to change his mind after a break up? |
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WomanSaver MoFo
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Age: 3
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I‘m sorry dawn that you weren‘t given the family you so richly deserved.
What others don‘t give us we should give to ourselves. Your family may never change or become who you want them to be. Have you ever thought of volunteering at a Living Center or Nursing Home? There is a program called something like adopt a grandparent. It is a wonderful program that I think may just give you what you need.
Get involved with a nature center in your area. Volunteer to take kids on a hike.
It‘s time for you to find ways to share your love and receive love from someone other than a man.
Please keep posting, dawn and don‘t disappear. xxxxxxx
What do you think of my ideas?
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| perpetualdawn |
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Posted: 7/22/2010 1:41 PM |
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Subject: is there a way to get guy to change his mind after a break up? |
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WomanSaver Addict
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Age: 34
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Those are good idea but I really do love this man and love my home. Never was this happy. I‘ve talked to his Friends and they are confused said they know he loves me and doesn‘t understand stand this either. I know in an adult. And I realise where I messed up and Will never so it again. Feel like I lost my chance at happiness. I‘m preying nothing is helping.
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| shally |
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Posted: 7/22/2010 1:47 PM |
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Subject: is there a way to get guy to change his mind after a break up? |
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WomanSaver MoFo
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What exactly did he say to you?
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| hellhathnofury |
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Posted: 7/22/2010 4:19 PM |
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Subject: is there a way to get guy to change his mind after a break up? |
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WomanSaver MoFo
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Age: 31
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Sunderland
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Hi, if a man doesnt realise how great you are and he lets you get away then he is an idiot and you deserve better than an idiot! And if you cant find better just yet then stay single for a while and invest in yourself.
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| perpetualdawn |
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Posted: 7/22/2010 4:58 PM |
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Subject: is there a way to get guy to change his mind after a break up? |
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WomanSaver Addict
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Age: 34
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He keeps crying and saying he loves me so much he wishes he didn‘t have to do this and that he really doesn‘t want to but he feels like he has to I fear that because of my hienus past I pushed him away and I love him more then air and I love his famly my life here with him my home with him. please I‘m hanging by a thred
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| Moogleangelgirl |
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Posted: 7/22/2010 6:22 PM |
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Subject: is there a way to get guy to change his mind after a break up? |
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WomanSaver MoFo
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Age: 33
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| perpetualdawn wrote: | | He keeps crying and saying he loves me so much he wishes he didn‘t have to do this and that he really doesn‘t want to but he feels like he has to I fear that because of my hienus past I pushed him away and I love him more then air and I love his famly my life here with him my home with him. please I‘m hanging by a thred |
I‘m going to take some shots in the dark here babydoll..
-Did you push him away by constantly accusing him of cheating?
-Did you check on him constantly and go through his things?
-Did you need to know where he was 24/7 and who he was with?
-Did you need to be near him constantly, like even while he was showering?
-Did you get upset when it took him more than 3 rings to answer his cell?
-Do you have now, or have you ever had suicidal thoughts/tendencies?
-Have you ever faked a pregnancy or considered trying to get pregnant in order to force a relationship to commitment?
-Are you mentally denying all of these questions while KNOWING you really do match some of them nail on the head?
Please be honest, especially about the suicidal thoughts. My heart is aching for you and I feel the need to really reach you and get you to understand some things.
Please dont take offense at my questions. I am genuinely trying to get the full picture of who you are and I am almost in tears for you. If you feel more comfortable, answer me in private message. I am seriously worried about you.
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