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| jussmee |
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Posted: 11/19/2009 2:06 PM |
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Subject: Flags I didn‘t notice... |
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New WomanSaver
Female Member
Age: 41
Total Posts: 3
Thousand Oaks
California
United States
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It all sounds stupid, but thanks to this site I found out the truth about a guy I had been dating (not too serious since we live 2 hours apart) but I appreciate the opportunity to hash over what I‘d missed:
1) Didn‘t give me his full name - he shortened his last name for some reason, and didn‘t give me his full last name - I didn‘t question this... why???
2) Didn‘t give me an address or tell me where he worked (after 2 months?)
3) Didn‘t want to take phone calls - wanted email or text
4) Always seemed to be too "busy with work"
5) Didn‘t seem enthusiastic about me visiting him on his "home turf"
6) Seemed more interested in sex than anything else, although he was very good at talking
Anyway, apparently he is a serial womanizer and cheater! I fell for him too fast after a couple of dates and ignored these signs - feel kinda stupid, but glad I found out eventually. I‘ll be more attentive to my own responses and to this kind of sign in the future.
Thanks to this site and all those who posted about this guy!
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| shally |
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Posted: 11/19/2009 3:15 PM |
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Subject: Flags I didn‘t notice... |
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WomanSaver MoFo
Female Member
Age: 3
.gif)
Total Posts: 2420
sitting pretty on
Isle of Man
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So glad you dumped the loser. Smart woman, give yourself a pat on the back for that.
Why do you think, looking back, that you ignored those red flags. What was going on with you that you didn‘t question them?
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| jussmee |
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Posted: 11/19/2009 3:34 PM |
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Subject: Flags I didn‘t notice... |
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New WomanSaver
Female Member
Age: 41
Total Posts: 3
Thousand Oaks
California
United States
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Well, he was a very smooth talker, for a start, and we seemed to be extremely compatible with a lot of common interests, I really enjoyed his company, and the physical chemistry was off the charts. Pretty much everything I had wanted in a man he seemed to be. So there was a lot going for him to begin with. Then the hiding began and he was just feeding me just enough to keep the hope up that something was there.
So why did I live on hope rather than what was obviously there (or not there)? I am aware that although I‘m a pretty strong woman most of the time I do have a weak spot where men are concerned. I‘ve always loved male company and I do have a tendency to compromise myself and make allowances where I shouldn‘t. It‘s a learning process for me and I‘m getting better at it slowly. My next step has to be not to enter any relationship until I‘m perfectly happy being on my own. It‘s been a while since I‘ve done this, and I obviously need to do this again.
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| shally |
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Posted: 11/19/2009 3:59 PM |
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Subject: Flags I didn‘t notice... |
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WomanSaver MoFo
Female Member
Age: 3
Total Posts: 2420
sitting pretty on
Isle of Man
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When you know better you do better. Maybe this is a problem on your part and as you say you are working on it. I am just really impressed that you cut it off so quickly.
Mistakes are just lessons and we repeat those mistakes over and over again until we learn the lesson we need to learn.
I say you are definitely on the right track. We have to at some point step back and realize that as wonderful as it is to be loved by a man - in my opinion nothing compares, we have to see that our happiness isn‘t nor can it be contingent on another being in our lives. We have to fulfill our needs men fulfill our wants and desires.
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| jussmee |
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Posted: 11/19/2009 6:43 PM |
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Subject: Flags I didn‘t notice... |
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New WomanSaver
Female Member
Age: 41
Total Posts: 3
Thousand Oaks
California
United States
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Thanks for the support. Sometimes I take a lot longer learning these lessons than I want! Oh well, I‘ll just keep working on it. It is worth it!
And thanks again for this resource and an outlet for my rant - it helps a lot! :)
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| shelbelle |
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Posted: 11/20/2009 6:42 AM |
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Subject: Flags I didn‘t notice... |
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WomanSaver MoFo
Female Member
Age: 23
Total Posts: 1391
lalaland
North Carolina
United States
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