WomanSavers.com Forum / GENERAL / My Heart is Bleeding.....

Oh Eves,

I am so sorry for what you are going through...It sounds like a frutrating situation.

You and your family will be in my prayers. I hope it felt good to vent...It always makes me feel at least a little bit better.

Eve‘s....This is a tough one. 

After my grandson died both my son & babys mother tried to kill themselves....on more than one occasion.  During that dark time I felt very helpless, as I‘m sure you feel the same....so I am sending you a hug....

Keep making the phone calls and visits to him, make sure he knows you love him and are wanting to help in any way possible.  But the bottom line is he is an adult.  He has to be the one to make that decision to get help.

Pray that he does.

I will never forget the day my son finally came to me and said, "mom, will you help me get some help."

I took him to the emergency room, where an emergency counsler was contacted.  They talked to him alone and then with me and then they helped him make the arrangments to go impatient.  The decision made was his to make, not mine. 

And believe me, I had made many phone calls prior to him coming to me.  I was always told the same....he is an adult, unless you hire an attorney, and can prove he is incapable of making his own medical decisions, there is really nothing you can do. 

Except to be there for them.  And it sounds like you are doing that.  Whatever has brought on his depression, he has to be the one to seek help. 

You say your state has a mandatory 72 hour lock-up.  do you mean in a jail or in a hospital?  My state doesn‘t have that law so I just don‘t know.  

I will send many prayers your way for you and your whole family.

Eves, my heart goes out to you. I know what you are going through. My oldest son (18) has Asperger‘s Syndrome and is Bi-Polar. He has stated on more than 1 occasion that he wants to kill himself. The last time I told his father to ignore the statement. My son walked into the nurses office at school and made the same eact statement. They put the school on lockdown and notified me that I had 15 minutes to come and get him or they would call the police. He would have been admitted for 72 hours also.

My suggestion is to call the psych office every day to see if they have a canceltion. He may have developed a tolerance for his meds which means that they need to be changed. It could be something as simple as him needing a mood stabilizer(depakote). You have taken the steps to remove all weapons from the home and all drugs as well. At this point I would suggest that he not be alone.

He may also need to be in counseling in conjunction with the meds.

Please Pm me if you need to talk.

Oh Eves, I am so sorry!  My prays are with you.  I agree, screw the job, his health and well-being are the most important.

We are trying to do our best to save the job....but....as I told the fiance.....If it gets bad enough before Monday, just call 911.

I say better to have a poor alive kid than a dead one with a job......

I said it in my other thread....I Love You!!

Gosh, Eves, I‘m sorry.  You are in my thoughts and prayers, and I will think positive thoughts for your son that he will be able to hold on, and to get the help he needs to get through this crisis.

You‘re a strong, brave lady with a big, big heart.  I am thinking of you!

Gosh, Eves, I‘m sorry.  You are in my thoughts and prayers, and I will think positive thoughts for your son that he will be able to hold on, and to get the help he needs to get through this crisis.

You‘re a strong, brave lady with a big, big heart.  I am thinking of you!

Eves, I just read that your son is a diabetic. The anti-psychotics can make the bodies sugar level go up drastically. Please make sure that you research the meds. When a diabetics sugar level goes up they can and will say and do strange things. Also something to think about, if he is taking all of the meds at the same time they may not be working together. He could try taking some in the AM and then some in the PM.

Eves....It sounds like you are doing everything possible, and hopefully you will be headed in the right direction with the new doctor.  Good communication is important and it sounds like the new doctor is doing that.

Sorry your going through such a rough time.  Nothing is worse then when it involves your kids.  Your son is very lucky to have you for his mother.......

Aw jees Eves, I‘m so sorry. What a tough situation.....

I had a scare last year with my son. Hubs came home to see him with a gun to his head, sitting on the couch. I have never been so scared in my life. Both myself and his father have battled depression and it runs in both our families. I got him psych help, but he refused to take the meds. He seems to have gotten over the suicidal thinking, but he is still flaking out in school. It surely is a struggle with him some days.

As far as your son, it sounds like he needs to get the proper medical help. With diabetes and all the mental issues, he needs specialized care to deal with all those problems at the same time...which is no easy feat. You may have to shop around for a psychiatrist who is familar with treating serious medical conditions along with psychological disorders. Ask lots of questions and don‘t be afraid to change docs if you feel your son is not getting the proper treatment.

Also, don‘t be so sure about the bi-polar diagnosis. Docs these days seem to like throwing that diagnosis around a little too frequently for my taste. I think often times people are suffering from severe clinical depression and not bi-polar. The symptoms are similar, but without the manic episodes. IMO, your son‘s binge eating is an eating disorder and not the result of "mania." Because it sounds like he is suffering from a myriad of disorders, ie:eating, depression, suicidal thoughts, etc..those problems need to addressed seperately and together at the same time....does that make sense?

Eves, my best advice is to really pay attention to the doctors and make sure they have your son‘s best interests at heart. Throwing a cocktail of med‘s at him may not be the best solution. He sounds as if he needs on-going therapy, as well. The big problem with people like your son is that they like to self medicate (booze, eating, pills, etc) and they often will not follow a regimen of meds properly because as soon as they feel better, they think they can take themselves off the meds. Or they don‘t like the side effects and take themselves off for that reason. Either way, he needs family and friends around him to make sure he knows that people care and that people are watching him.

You‘re a good mom, Eves. I can hear the concern and severe worry in your posts and I want you to know I am praying for you and your boy. I hope it all gets straightened out.

Eves....you are so lucky that your kids always put it in writing that their doctors can talk to you.  I agree with you, no matter how old they are, they need you helping them every step of the way.

When my son was refusing treatment, he would NEVER have did that.

I will send you more prayers that the week-end goes by fast and Monday is a good day for you and your son.

I did not know about the correlation between diabetes and bi polar. It does make sense, though.

I was on Neurontin for a couple of years. My psychiatrist at the time diagnosed me with bi polar. I was devastated. As it turns out, I was just clinically depressed about a break up with a boyfriend...or at least that was the catalyst. They put me on so many meds, I couldn‘t keep track. But I kept with it for about 2 years, and finally took myself off of all "brain candy" about 4 or 5 years ago. I have not had a problem since. I guess my own personal experience made me mention that is may not have been a correct diagnosis.

Eves, I know this is rough, but you are a tough cookie and you will be strong for your boy. I know it. Big hugs and mountains of positive energy coming your way. <kisses>

Sorry to hear that happened to you Fifi. I would love to think that both my daughter and my son could lose all the meds one day. Your story makes me think it could be possible. I can only hope....

You know admitting to something like that IS very devastating. I remember my daughter always telling me and everyone else that she was NOT bipolar. She said the doctor made a mistake.....but she continued to take the meds. She is still taking them today. I think she is more embarrased than anything else. I sense that she thinks if she admits it, she will be frowned upon by other people. I always tell her...who cares...it is nothing to be ashamed of.

My son on the other hand, never even blinked at the diagnosis. He just said ok and moved on. Almost lacksidazical (sp?) .....know what I mean?? He is very open about it and could care less who knows.

Two very very different kids......and yes DD, I am very lucky that my kids let me continue to be so involved in all aspects of their lives. I know they love me, but sometimes I wonder if I would be so welcome in their business if the gravy train was cut off.....????

Tomorrow is Thursday.....4 more days until Monday.....crossed fingers!!

Eves...I also feel lucky now....my son has his will to live again.  It was during the time he was sucidal and wanted to die that he wouldn‘t let me or anyone be a part of his life. 

Once he went in treatment he did sign papers for his doctors to talk to me.  They called me all the time, and I called them.

He was here last night and he told me...he has been having real bad pains in his chest, left side, going down his arm...in fact, he had one while at the house.  He told me "wouldn‘t that be something, I want to live now, and I feel like I might drop dead of a heart attack."  He is worried he might have did some damage to his heart from all the many times he tried to OD.  He came close so many times I lost count.  I tell him he is like a cat....has 9 lives.

I am just thankful he has his will to live now.  Your son will too.  They do get better with treatment.  And your son is getting that. 

It will get better....

Keeping fingers crossed until Monday.....XXXX

DD

Monday is finally here.....good luck today Eves with your son and the new doctor.......

DD

Eves - I am so sorry for your heartache.  I wish there was something comforting that I could say.  You have been through so much in your life.  You are an incredibly strong and supportive woman and have such a big heart.

You are doing all the right things.  I will pray that your son can hang on and get through this until he can receive help.  You are doing the most important thing of all, which is showing him how much you love him and how much you care.

I will pray that your family can weather this crisis.

Eves,

I am so sorry to hear about your situation with your son.

It sounds to me like his medication hasn‘t been doing him very well.  I am glad that you have a new psychiatrist that will work with your MD.  It also sounds like your MD is wonderful.  These are the blessings you can count today.

Keep talking to him.  Explain to him how he can‘t leave his children...they need him!   Tell him that so many wrong things could happen to his kids if he isn‘t there to protect them. I don‘t know if this is right or not, but that thought is what keeps me going. 

My prayers are with you and your son.