| AUTHOR |
MESSAGE
|
| coolchick1102 |
 |
|
Posted: 11/9/2009 2:37 PM |
 |
Subject: need advice, moving out |
|
|
|
New WomanSaver
Female Member
Age: 27
Total Posts: 4
Indianapolis
Indiana
United States
offline
Invite To Chat Room
 Send Note
|
I am currently living with my significant other. I found out a little over a few months ago that he cheated on me - had another whole relationship. We‘ve tried to make it work but I still don‘t trust him at all. I know that I have to move out, and luckily I have the support of my friends and family. Do any of you have advice on how to break the news and how to orchestrate the whole process of dividing things, figuring out bills, finding a subleaser for the condo, etc? Anything would really be appreciated, I‘ve never been in this situation before.
|
| Funnysl |
|
|
Posted: 11/9/2009 4:40 PM |
|
Subject: need advice, moving out |
|
|
|
WomanSaver MoFo
Female Member
Age: 40
.gif)
Total Posts: 5026
sunshine and daisies
Wyoming
United States
offline
Invite To Chat Room
Send Note
|
| coolchick1102 wrote: | I am currently living with my significant other. I found out a little over a few months ago that he cheated on me - had another whole relationship. We‘ve tried to make it work but I still don‘t trust him at all. I know that I have to move out, and luckily I have the support of my friends and family. Do any of you have advice on how to break the news and how to orchestrate the whole process of dividing things, figuring out bills, finding a subleaser for the condo, etc? Anything would really be appreciated, I‘ve never been in this situation before. |
Before you say anything you need to get anything that is yours that you want and any important paperwork out of the house. Things can get very ugly.
Are you married? If you two are just living together, the bills will be the responsiblity of whoevers name they are in.
Trust is hard to have once it has been broken. I hope you will be okay. Make sure this is what you want. Staying is hard and leaving is hard. I wish you luck.
|
| Kahlan |
|
|
Posted: 11/10/2009 3:28 AM |
|
Subject: need advice, moving out |
|
|
|
WomanSaver Addict
Female Member
Age: 27
.gif)
Total Posts: 149
Home
Cyprus
online
Invite To Chat Room
Send Note
|
First of all, I am so sorry you are going through this. It‘s an ugly situation. I feel like I have to congratulate you, though, for taking your life back into your hands. Kudos to you, girl!
Having moved out of the flat I was sharing with my fiance after breaking up, I hope I can offer some help on what to do, and what not to do!
As sunny said, top priority should be to protect yourself. It depends how the break up goes and what your STBX is like...
Don‘t distance yourself and expect him to get the hint. Be in control. Gather up your courage and try to be as calm and collected as possible. Tell him you need to talk to him and get to the point immediately. Make sure he knows you are steadfast in your intention of breaking up. Mention all the reasons but don‘t accuse, and don‘t negotiate. If you want, have a suitcase packed up with your most important possessions and leave the house. Go back the next day, with a friend, and pack the rest of the things, and make sure he won‘t be there.
Most important of all is the one rule I broke and later regretted it: NO CONTACT. You can‘t be friends at this point. If at any point in the future you decide you still want to talk to him, that‘s advised against, but it is your choice. You know best. After the break up though, the "no contact" rule should NOT be broken. Don‘t give information as to where you‘ll be, or ask on what he‘s planning to do. From the point where you decide to be apart, it‘s none of anyone‘s business.
Take your name off bills. As for the house, I can‘t really advise... whose name is it on? I‘d say, call the person/company you‘re leasing it from, and inform them that one of you won‘t be living there anymore. It depends on whether you‘d like to keep it, or give it to him. Personally, I couldn‘t afford the flat alone so I decided it was less hassle to just find somewhere else to live...
Please keep posting and let us know how things are going. Hugs to you!
|