WomanSavers.com Forum / GENERAL / Sleeping with women right away

nikkie wrote:

unpopulartruth wrote: nikkie wrote: unpopulartruth wrote: Whoa!!!! Why the hell should any man be afriad of a woman finding out that he has extremely little money, if that‘s in fact the case?  If a man is poor, why would he hide that? Why would he think that that‘s relevant to a woman? In fact, why is that relevant to a woman? Damn, you golddiggers are so easy to spot! I was needling Ban Me, to see just how secure he is in his own worth.  Little did I imagine I‘d hit a sensitive nerve with you....interesting that you responded the way you did.....are you sure you‘re the secure, self confident man that you‘d have ladies here believe? By the way, for the record, you don‘t need a lot of money to court a lady.  It‘s the thought behind the courtship that counts.  Preference for waiting to have sex isn‘t just about knowing whether the man she‘s seeing is the right one, it‘s also to do with respect......though somehow, I‘m not convinced you‘re particularly familiar with the concept of treating people with any degree of real respect. Looking forward to your "harsh because I care" response Wow, you sure love playing mindgames, don‘t you? Are you a Fraudian? Constantly believing that people have ulterior motives for their responses based on internal psychological insecurities? Constantly thinking people protest too much and therefore must actually be secret members of the groups they‘re denouncing? I like mindgames too, but not these Fraudian types. Sorry sweetie, I don‘t wanna play. As for respect - that has to be earned! Money has to be earned. Dinners have to be earned. Vacations have to be earned. Love has to be earned. And respect certainly has to be earned. I had a friend once who was extremely cocky and dominant with women until they slept with him. Once they started sleeping with him on a regular basis, he became, according to them, the sweetest guy in the world. But he wasn‘t a wimp. That sweetness was based on merit. He once told me that after sex he‘ll take the woman out on expensive dinners and all that, but before, he had a policy of spending no more on her than one dollar and twenty five cents (which usually buys only a bottled water). No matter what she did, that was his rule. She could make out with him, give him oral sex, etc... but if she didn‘t have actual sex with him he would always say to her at the end of the date "Here‘s your bottled water sweetheart." Then when she tried to kiss him goodnight, he would turn his face and give her the cheek! I‘m not as inflexible as he is. I‘ve been known to even buy the woman some coffee at starbucks before sex, but it is true, us men, whether rich or poor, do not want to waste our money and get nothing in return. I‘ve seen chumps spend thousands of dollars on women and get nothing but a cheek kiss (the kiss of death), or the LJBF (Let‘s just be friends) speech, or even worse, the INYIM (It‘s not you it‘s me) speech. I haven‘t been LJBF‘d since age 19, but I still get INYIM‘d occasionally. But at least it doesn‘t bother me anymore because I know that I haven‘t wasted an entire paycheck on this woman for nothing. If I do, it better be for something.  A lot of females say that they don‘t want to feel as if they‘re being bought. A man who takes a woman to an expensive dinner on the first date is going to have the woman thinking "Oh crap, he‘s probably gonna want something for this. Well I‘m not a prostitute." Indeed, spending money before sex is a bribe, which is disrespecful. Spending money after sex is a well deserved reward. I have found that women can tell within the first three seconds of seeing a guy if they will sleep with him. As such, those that really wanted to sleep with me will do so regardless of how much I spend and the ones who won‘t, also won‘t regardless of how much I spend. So why spend more than the bare minimum, at least until after sex? I have to have something invested in the woman before I spend anything. Again, I‘m not as inflexible as my friend but if a woman tells me some BS like "I have a rule, I don‘t have sex for the first six months of a new relationship", I‘m all of a sudden going to turn into him and say to myself, "I hope that bottled water lasts her for six months." The more solid my future investment, the more lucrative the interaction. You‘re worried about finding the right guy and being disrespected? If a guy is right, he‘ll be right even if you sleep with him. If he‘s wrong, he‘ll also be wrong even if you sleep with. Which means, if he‘s right, you should sleep with him right away, because why waste time? Also, if he‘s wrong, than you should also sleep with him right away because then at least you got something out of it while getting to know him without completely wasting your time! Same thing with guys who respect or disrespect you. If it turns out a guy is a disrespecful jerk, you may as well sleep with him before you find that out because when you do find out, you can say that you at least got something good out of it, meaning it wasn‘t a total waste. Life is short. You really have nothing to lose. Which do you prefer - A guy who‘s cocky and harsh until you sleep with him, thus causing him to turn into a sweet caring man, or a guy who pretends to be a sweet caring man until you sleep with him, thus causing him to turn into a jerk and dump you? I am the former. I must be motivated to invest anything (especially money). When it comes to me respecting women, I‘ve been told by some women that I am the sweetest guy they‘ve ever met. I‘ve been told by others that I am the biggest jerk they ever met. Guess which ones did what for me! You want respect and for a guy to emotionally open up? EARN IT! And yes, I‘m harsh because I care. Lies may bring smiles and truth may bring tears, but in the longrun, truth will earn you respect whereas lies will earn you just disappointment.        Well hello there "Harsh" (you don‘t mind if I call you that do you?....think of it as my special nick name for you.....) To respond to your post, no I don‘t believe all people have ulterior motives, and no I‘m not a freudian....but I‘m usually quite good at spotting people who choose to lie to themselves and others all in an attempt to avoid facing up to and dealing with their insecurities. I had a hunch about Ban Me and went with it.....instead of finding a response from him I got a response from you. I post a relatively brief response to you and receive back a "diarrhoea of the mouth" response from you.  I‘ve really hit a nerve with you haven‘t I?  You know the interesting thing here?  I‘m not trying to hit a nerve with you, yet I seem to be doing so without intending to. So briefly, respect? Two way street, Women must not only earn it from Men, but Men must earn it from Women.  To give respect one needs to know and understand self respect.  If you insist on behaving the way you do you‘ll never find a woman who respects you, because ultimately, regardless of your argument to the contrary, your behavior is not that of someone who is mature, has decent self-esteem and healthy self respect. Like it or not you‘re running from intimacy, your utter disregard for the way you treat your dates and what you expect of them is proof of this. Oh and by the way, your remark about not wanting to play with me?  By responding to me with the vehemence you‘ve demonstrated here, you‘re playing....intentionally or otherwise. Okay "Harsh", I‘m done and yes I‘m still looking forward to your "harsh because I care" response

Well hello there "Hippie." You don‘t mind if I call you that from now on do you? Think of it as MY little nickname for YOU, considering your sappy talk about intimacy and other female BS.

First of all, my "verbal diarrhea" is due to my desire to be as accurate and precise as I can be without someone asking me for clarification. I‘m not obssessed or anything. I‘m just a very passionate man. Forgive me. I usually intend to write only a few sentances but then realize that those need to be qualified and pretty soon I‘m writing a whole book. Hey, that can‘t be helped. Sorry I can‘t pack everything I want to say into those pathetic three word slogans like "Keeping America Strong" that politicians use to control the sheep whose brains would explode if they heard something that takes four words or more to illustrate. Don‘t hate me cause I‘m knowledgable and want to spread that knowledge because I care about you. lol So, with that said, here‘s more of my diarrhea (lots of it - this will be long but extremely necessary to write):"

Jesus tap dancing Christ!!!! What typical female garbage you‘re spewing here! Classic feministic tactic! At first I just thought you were a golddigger, but now I see that you are one of the typical female sheep out there whose cliche  hippie feminine statements are punctuated by headache worthy "inner child seeking" feminine bull****!

Running from intimacy? Lack of self esteem? No maturity? Great here we go! This is so cliche that it‘s laughable. I recognize the feminist agenda here to turn men into ball-less, feminine Titantic-watching cry babies that you have total control over while you go behind their backs and have wild anal sex or voluntarily engage in the reenactment of a grotesque rape fantasy with some sexy badboy gang member in a dirty public bathroom stall!!!

I meet women like you all the time. Yes, I‘ll open myself up to intimacy! I‘ll let all the anger out by crying! I‘ll get in touch with my inner child! I‘ll return to my roots as a precious child of mother Earth and discover the goddess that lives in all of us! I‘ll cry on women‘s shoulders! I‘ll totally open myself up to feeling all the tearful wonder that I can feel even if it leads to constant weeping! It‘s okay! I know no one‘s looking! I‘ll let it out! I‘ll breathe the goddess in and out....

....and while I‘m at it, why don‘t I just change my name to "Squirrel Lover" or "Butterfly Whisperer" and take a job at a flower shop where I can be in touch with the elements? (Why did they have to kill Bamby‘s mom? Whyyyyyyyy!!!!!)

Do you know what makes me sick to my stomach "Hippie?" There are actually weak feminine men out there, like that first wuss who posted about "life companions," that actually are brainwashed by that ****! They take on the personality characteristics of a woman. They‘re in touch with their "inner goddess." They cry in front of women. When they have a dispute with another man, they offer to take him to the park, walk around, and process their psychological squabble, followed by a big "manly" hug and a promise to never fight again. Please excuse me while I puke!

Okay, I‘m back. And the original feminists have done this for a reason. Their goal was to create a new type of man that they can control absolutely. A castrated feminine male who‘s not worthy of the noble title of "Man." But there was a problem that they did not anticipate: While fulfilling their feminine desire to control weak male pussies for their own financial benefit, they didn‘t realize that they would become involuntarily unattracted to them. These women are not lesbians and they don‘t want a weak crying wimp. Such a male is good as a provider and a walking ATM machine, but for sexual attraction to exist, the man must be masculine and strong in a woman‘s eyes - he must have some balls!

You women need to realize that there are two contradictory sides to a woman‘s nature. The first side wants to have sex with men. The second side wants to control men and "tame" or "domesticate" them in order to be reassured of your own feminine strength and sexual power. Both will greatly boost your own self esteem. Unfortunately, one can only be fullfilled at the expense of the other. If you succeed in cutting off a man‘s testicles (metaphorically speaking), you‘ll be reassured that "you still got it," but you‘ll involuntarily immediately lose all sexual passion for him. He‘s no longer a challange. On the other hand, you‘re passionately sexual attracted to the wild badboy or "knight in shining armor:" A wild animal who simply cannot be tamed. He‘s so exciting to you isn‘t he?

But, there‘s a problem: A woman has an uncontrollable instinct to fullfill both sides of her nature. So, if you marry this exciting bad boy, in about a year or so, you will try to tame him. If you do, one of two things will happen. Either you succeed or fail.

Scenerio 1:

 If you succeed, you will have done something that no other woman has ever done. You have tamed the untamable man because his love for you really is that strong. You‘ve broken him down and now he opens up to you and cries. He‘s never shared his feelings like that with any other woman. You‘re filled with joy that you‘re that good and you feel as if you‘ve achieved true intimacy. But wait, there‘s a problem. You‘re noticing that you‘re not sexually attracted to him as much as you once were. You start thinking to yourself, "Why did I do this?" Then you find yourself another wild untamable alpha male (let‘s say the plumber or the cable guy), and you start screwing him behind your husband‘s back. Then when he gets you pregnant, you pass his kids off as your husband‘s and thus have fullfilled both sides of your nature - To be sexually attracted to the dominant ones, and control the weak feminine ones.

Scenario 2:

If you fail to tame him, you will divorce him (usually before the first child turns three because that is when a woman‘s evolutionary instincts to manipulate the man to raise the child her way peak for some reason). But after the divorce you will miss him dearly. You might still sleep with him on occasion while he‘s probably sleeping with other women too. And at the same time, you‘ll find yourself some beta male sucker to raise his kids and provide the financially stable family that the other side of your nature demands.

But again, it‘s a trade off. What usually happens is, in a marriage, the woman succeeds in controlling the man and the husband and wife never have sex again (except on special occasions like anniverseries). How can she be attracted to him if he‘s no longer a challange? Well no thank you! Take your intimacy and shove it!

You see Hippie, sexual attraction is not a choice. It is built into your DNA by thousands of years of evolution. No woman chooses to stay with the badboy and use the nice guy‘s shirt as a cleenex followed by kissing him on the cheek, saying "thanks for being such a good listener," and then leaving to have sex with her masculine badass while the nice guy says to himself "someday she‘ll see that I‘m right for her and that I would treat her like the queen that she is."

It‘s in your guts. Don‘t feel guilty. It‘s just the way nature designed you in order to have only the strongest male genes passed on to the next generation. 

97% of men were not meant to reproduce - only have their sexual urges used by females to get what they want (usually get the man to adopt the provider role). Reproduction has been reserved only for the top 3% of men by nature. They get all the women while the wimps get left in the dust fighting over the ugly ones. That‘s the case in every species of animal.

So, in truth, there are two types of men - sexual aggressors and financial providers - and two sides of a woman‘s nature which can only be fulfilled at the expense of the other side - a desire to have sex and be dominated and a desire to control and dominate. The question is, which side is more dominant? Women who‘s controlling sides are more dominant are known as golddiggers or prostitutes. Women who‘s sexual sides are more dominant are known as sexually liberated women, or as some ignorant haters prefer to call them "sluts."

Which ones a man attracts depends on what type of man he is. Idiots say that "rich guys get all the chicks." Well yes, but not because those chicks are attracted to them. They‘ll just use those rich men while sleeping with the cable guy for their sexual gratification.

But you know what‘s funny? It‘s a woman‘s orgasms that give her the chemical oxytocin which creates the love emotion (intimacy as you call it). Unfortunately, the men whom you seek to be the most intimate with, are the men that will break your hearts. That‘s why women attract men who are jerks which leads to creations like this site. Golddiggers, on the other hand, are never happy and never in love. One of them even told me once (in tears) that she would trade all her millions of dollars for some romance! It was sad. And we all know that true prostitutes just lay there and go somewhere else in their heads until it‘s over. Pathetic!

Well guess what? I have a solution! How about a compromise? I‘ll consider the concept of intimacy and love after the woman establishes a willingness to sleep with me and not treat me like an emotional tampon (the way she treats those nice guys who love to get in touch with their inner children and who are too feminine and weak for her to sleep with).

I‘m not afraid of intimacy Nikkie. Not at all! I‘m not afraid of falling in love, having children, and dying of old age with my soulmate. I just don‘t want to lose my sex appeal. Surely you can understand that. That‘s why I think that balance is in order here. Sex first and then intimacy - but even then not too much intimacy that the woman feels that she‘s overpowered me.        

You women are very holistic creatures. You tie everything together with everything else. Sex, love, intimacy, passion, hate, sadness, happiness, etc... You laugh one minute and you cry the next. You‘re happy to be alive and beautiful one minute and you are depressed and feel worthless the next. Everything in your world is a chaotic jumble that cannot be seperated from anything else. That‘s why you go crazy sometimes and feel like ripping your hair out, or cutting your wrists just to confirm that you‘re still alive.

That‘s why you need a man to separate things for you and draw clear lines of distinction, thereby bringing order to your chaos. That‘s what I‘m here for. This is why I as a man was born. You as a woman were born to please me so that I can please you. You must see the lines of distinction between sex, love, intimacy, passion, happiness, sadness, etc... Us men are here to show them to you without succumbing to your feminine need to castrate us into your Titanic watching "good boys." True intimacy is born out of male dominance and female submission for the sake of the male‘s happiness and the female‘s.

Wow, this was a long post wasn‘t it? Sorry, I got waaay carried away. LOL. But I feel that everything that I said was necessary to be said. If you‘re read this far, give yourself a big hug! LOL

And yes, I really mean it when I say, I‘m harsh because I care.

Cheers to you Hippie

.

unpopulartruth wrote:

nikkie wrote: unpopulartruth wrote: nikkie wrote: unpopulartruth wrote: Whoa!!!! Why the hell should any man be afriad of a woman finding out that he has extremely little money, if that‘s in fact the case?  If a man is poor, why would he hide that? Why would he think that that‘s relevant to a woman? In fact, why is that relevant to a woman? Damn, you golddiggers are so easy to spot! I was needling Ban Me, to see just how secure he is in his own worth.  Little did I imagine I‘d hit a sensitive nerve with you....interesting that you responded the way you did.....are you sure you‘re the secure, self confident man that you‘d have ladies here believe? By the way, for the record, you don‘t need a lot of money to court a lady.  It‘s the thought behind the courtship that counts.  Preference for waiting to have sex isn‘t just about knowing whether the man she‘s seeing is the right one, it‘s also to do with respect......though somehow, I‘m not convinced you‘re particularly familiar with the concept of treating people with any degree of real respect. Looking forward to your "harsh because I care" response Wow, you sure love playing mindgames, don‘t you? Are you a Fraudian? Constantly believing that people have ulterior motives for their responses based on internal psychological insecurities? Constantly thinking people protest too much and therefore must actually be secret members of the groups they‘re denouncing? I like mindgames too, but not these Fraudian types. Sorry sweetie, I don‘t wanna play. As for respect - that has to be earned! Money has to be earned. Dinners have to be earned. Vacations have to be earned. Love has to be earned. And respect certainly has to be earned. I had a friend once who was extremely cocky and dominant with women until they slept with him. Once they started sleeping with him on a regular basis, he became, according to them, the sweetest guy in the world. But he wasn‘t a wimp. That sweetness was based on merit. He once told me that after sex he‘ll take the woman out on expensive dinners and all that, but before, he had a policy of spending no more on her than one dollar and twenty five cents (which usually buys only a bottled water). No matter what she did, that was his rule. She could make out with him, give him oral sex, etc... but if she didn‘t have actual sex with him he would always say to her at the end of the date "Here‘s your bottled water sweetheart." Then when she tried to kiss him goodnight, he would turn his face and give her the cheek! I‘m not as inflexible as he is. I‘ve been known to even buy the woman some coffee at starbucks before sex, but it is true, us men, whether rich or poor, do not want to waste our money and get nothing in return. I‘ve seen chumps spend thousands of dollars on women and get nothing but a cheek kiss (the kiss of death), or the LJBF (Let‘s just be friends) speech, or even worse, the INYIM (It‘s not you it‘s me) speech. I haven‘t been LJBF‘d since age 19, but I still get INYIM‘d occasionally. But at least it doesn‘t bother me anymore because I know that I haven‘t wasted an entire paycheck on this woman for nothing. If I do, it better be for something.  A lot of females say that they don‘t want to feel as if they‘re being bought. A man who takes a woman to an expensive dinner on the first date is going to have the woman thinking "Oh crap, he‘s probably gonna want something for this. Well I‘m not a prostitute." Indeed, spending money before sex is a bribe, which is disrespecful. Spending money after sex is a well deserved reward. I have found that women can tell within the first three seconds of seeing a guy if they will sleep with him. As such, those that really wanted to sleep with me will do so regardless of how much I spend and the ones who won‘t, also won‘t regardless of how much I spend. So why spend more than the bare minimum, at least until after sex? I have to have something invested in the woman before I spend anything. Again, I‘m not as inflexible as my friend but if a woman tells me some BS like "I have a rule, I don‘t have sex for the first six months of a new relationship", I‘m all of a sudden going to turn into him and say to myself, "I hope that bottled water lasts her for six months." The more solid my future investment, the more lucrative the interaction. You‘re worried about finding the right guy and being disrespected? If a guy is right, he‘ll be right even if you sleep with him. If he‘s wrong, he‘ll also be wrong even if you sleep with. Which means, if he‘s right, you should sleep with him right away, because why waste time? Also, if he‘s wrong, than you should also sleep with him right away because then at least you got something out of it while getting to know him without completely wasting your time! Same thing with guys who respect or disrespect you. If it turns out a guy is a disrespecful jerk, you may as well sleep with him before you find that out because when you do find out, you can say that you at least got something good out of it, meaning it wasn‘t a total waste. Life is short. You really have nothing to lose. Which do you prefer - A guy who‘s cocky and harsh until you sleep with him, thus causing him to turn into a sweet caring man, or a guy who pretends to be a sweet caring man until you sleep with him, thus causing him to turn into a jerk and dump you? I am the former. I must be motivated to invest anything (especially money). When it comes to me respecting women, I‘ve been told by some women that I am the sweetest guy they‘ve ever met. I‘ve been told by others that I am the biggest jerk they ever met. Guess which ones did what for me! You want respect and for a guy to emotionally open up? EARN IT! And yes, I‘m harsh because I care. Lies may bring smiles and truth may bring tears, but in the longrun, truth will earn you respect whereas lies will earn you just disappointment.        Well hello there "Harsh" (you don‘t mind if I call you that do you?....think of it as my special nick name for you.....) To respond to your post, no I don‘t believe all people have ulterior motives, and no I‘m not a freudian....but I‘m usually quite good at spotting people who choose to lie to themselves and others all in an attempt to avoid facing up to and dealing with their insecurities. I had a hunch about Ban Me and went with it.....instead of finding a response from him I got a response from you. I post a relatively brief response to you and receive back a "diarrhoea of the mouth" response from you.  I‘ve really hit a nerve with you haven‘t I?  You know the interesting thing here?  I‘m not trying to hit a nerve with you, yet I seem to be doing so without intending to. So briefly, respect? Two way street, Women must not only earn it from Men, but Men must earn it from Women.  To give respect one needs to know and understand self respect.  If you insist on behaving the way you do you‘ll never find a woman who respects you, because ultimately, regardless of your argument to the contrary, your behavior is not that of someone who is mature, has decent self-esteem and healthy self respect. Like it or not you‘re running from intimacy, your utter disregard for the way you treat your dates and what you expect of them is proof of this. Oh and by the way, your remark about not wanting to play with me?  By responding to me with the vehemence you‘ve demonstrated here, you‘re playing....intentionally or otherwise. Okay "Harsh", I‘m done and yes I‘m still looking forward to your "harsh because I care" response Well hello there "Hippie." You don‘t mind if I call you that from now on do you? Think of it as MY little nickname for YOU, considering your sappy talk about intimacy and other female BS. First of all, my "verbal diarrhea" is due to my desire to be as accurate and precise as I can be without someone asking me for clarification. I‘m not obssessed or anything. I‘m just a very passionate man. Forgive me. I usually intend to write only a few sentances but then realize that those need to be qualified and pretty soon I‘m writing a whole book. Hey, that can‘t be helped. Sorry I can‘t pack everything I want to say into those pathetic three word slogans like "Keeping America Strong" that politicians use to control the sheep whose brains would explode if they heard something that takes four words or more to illustrate. Don‘t hate me cause I‘m knowledgable and want to spread that knowledge because I care about you. lol So, with that said, here‘s more of my diarrhea (lots of it - this will be long but extremely necessary to write):" Jesus tap dancing Christ!!!! What typical female garbage you‘re spewing here! Classic feministic tactic! At first I just thought you were a golddigger, but now I see that you are one of the typical female sheep out there whose cliche  hippie feminine statements are punctuated by headache worthy "inner child seeking" feminine bull****! Running from intimacy? Lack of self esteem? No maturity? Great here we go! This is so cliche that it‘s laughable. I recognize the feminist agenda here to turn men into ball-less, feminine Titantic-watching cry babies that you have total control over while you go behind their backs and have wild anal sex or voluntarily engage in the reenactment of a grotesque rape fantasy with some sexy badboy gang member in a dirty public bathroom stall!!! I meet women like you all the time. Yes, I‘ll open myself up to intimacy! I‘ll let all the anger out by crying! I‘ll get in touch with my inner child! I‘ll return to my roots as a precious child of mother Earth and discover the goddess that lives in all of us! I‘ll cry on women‘s shoulders! I‘ll totally open myself up to feeling all the tearful wonder that I can feel even if it leads to constant weeping! It‘s okay! I know no one‘s looking! I‘ll let it out! I‘ll breathe the goddess in and out.... ....and while I‘m at it, why don‘t I just change my name to "Squirrel Lover" or "Butterfly Whisperer" and take a job at a flower shop where I can be in touch with the elements? (Why did they have to kill Bamby‘s mom? Whyyyyyyyy!!!!!)         Do you know what makes me sick to my stomach "Hippie?" There are actually weak feminine men out there, like that first wuss who posted about "life companions," that actually are brainwashed by that ****! They take on the personality characteristics of a woman. They‘re in touch with their "inner goddess." They cry in front of women. When they have a dispute with another man, they offer to take him to the park, walk around, and process their psychological squabble, followed by a big "manly" hug and a promise to never fight again. Please excuse me while I puke! Okay, I‘m back. And the original feminists have done this for a reason. Their goal was to create a new type of man that they can control absolutely. A castrated feminine male who‘s not worthy of the noble title of "Man." But there was a problem that they did not anticipate: While fulfilling their feminine desire to control weak male pussies for their own financial benefit, they didn‘t realize that they would become involuntarily unattracted to them. These women are not lesbians and they don‘t want a weak crying wimp. Such a male is good as a provider and a walking ATM machine, but for sexual attraction to exist, the man must be masculine and strong in a woman‘s eyes - he must have some balls! You women need to realize that there are two contradictory sides to a woman‘s nature. The first side wants to have sex with men. The second side wants to control men and "tame" or "domesticate" them in order to be reassured of your own feminine strength and sexual power. Both will greatly boost your own self esteem. Unfortunately, one can only be fullfilled at the expense of the other. If you succeed in cutting off a man‘s testicles (metaphorically speaking), you‘ll be reassured that "you still got it," but you‘ll involuntarily immediately lose all sexual passion for him. He‘s no longer a challange. On the other hand, you‘re passionately sexual attracted to the wild badboy or "knight in shining armor:" A wild animal who simply cannot be tamed. He‘s so exciting to you isn‘t he? But, there‘s a problem: A woman has an uncontrollable instinct to fullfill both sides of her nature. So, if you marry this exciting bad boy, in about a year or so, you will try to tame him. If you do, one of two things will happen. Either you succeed or fail. Scenerio 1:  If you succeed, you will have done something that no other woman has ever done. You have tamed the untamable man because his love for you really is that strong. You‘ve broken him down and now he opens up to you and cries. He‘s never shared his feelings like that with any other woman. You‘re filled with joy that you‘re that good and you feel as if you‘ve achieved true intimacy. But wait, there‘s a problem. You‘re noticing that you‘re not sexually attracted to him as much as you once were. You start thinking to yourself, "Why did I do this?" Then you find yourself another wild untamable alpha male (let‘s say the plumber or the cable guy), and you start screwing him behind your husband‘s back. Then when he gets you pregnant, you pass his kids off as your husband‘s and thus have fullfilled both sides of your nature - To be sexually attracted to the dominant ones, and control the weak feminine ones. Scenario 2: If you fail to tame him, you will divorce him (usually before the first child turns three because that is when a woman‘s evolutionary instincts to manipulate the man to raise the child her way peak for some reason). But after the divorce you will miss him dearly. You might still sleep with him on occasion while he‘s probably sleeping with other women too. And at the same time, you‘ll find yourself some beta male sucker to raise his kids and provide the financially stable family that the other side of your nature demands. But again, it‘s a trade off. What usually happens is, in a marriage, the woman succeeds in controlling the man and the husband and wife never have sex again (except on special occasions like anniverseries). How can she be attracted to him if he‘s no longer a challange? Well no thank you! Take your intimacy and shove it! You see Hippie, sexual attraction is not a choice. It is built into your DNA by thousands of years of evolution. No woman chooses to stay with the badboy and use the nice guy‘s shirt as a cleenex followed by kissing him on the cheek, saying "thanks for being such a good listener," and then leaving to have sex with her masculine badass while the nice guy says to himself "someday she‘ll see that I‘m right for her and that I would treat her like the queen that she is." It‘s in your guts. Don‘t feel guilty. It‘s just the way nature designed you in order to have only the strongest male genes passed on to the next generation.  97% of men were not meant to reproduce - only have their sexual urges used by females to get what they want (usually get the man to adopt the provider role). Reproduction has been reserved only for the top 3% of men by nature. They get all the women while the wimps get left in the dust fighting over the ugly ones. That‘s the case in every species of animal. So, in truth, there are two types of men - sexual aggressors and financial providers - and two sides of a woman‘s nature which can only be fulfilled at the expense of the other side - a desire to have sex and be dominated and a desire to control and dominate. The question is, which side is more dominant? Women who‘s controlling sides are more dominant are known as golddiggers or prostitutes. Women who‘s sexual sides are more dominant are known as sexually liberated women, or as some ignorant haters prefer to call them "sluts." Which ones a man attracts depends on what type of man he is. Idiots say that "rich guys get all the chicks." Well yes, but not because those chicks are attracted to them. They‘ll just use those rich men while sleeping with the cable guy for their sexual gratification. But you know what‘s funny? It‘s a woman‘s orgasms that give her the chemical oxytocin which creates the love emotion (intimacy as you call it). Unfortunately, the men whom you seek to be the most intimate with, are the men that will break your hearts. That‘s why women attract men who are jerks which leads to creations like this site. Golddiggers, on the other hand, are never happy and never in love. One of them even told me once (in tears) that she would trade all her millions of dollars for some romance! It was sad. And we all know that true prostitutes just lay there and go somewhere else in their heads until it‘s over. Pathetic! Well guess what? I have a solution! How about a compromise? I‘ll consider the concept of intimacy and love after the woman establishes a willingness to sleep with me and not treat me like an emotional tampon (the way she treats those nice guys who love to get in touch with their inner children and who are too feminine and weak for her to sleep with). I‘m not afraid of intimacy Nikkie. Not at all! I‘m not afraid of falling in love, having children, and dying of old age with my soulmate. I just don‘t want to lose my sex appeal. Surely you can understand that. That‘s why I think that balance is in order here. Sex first and then intimacy - but even then not too much intimacy that the woman feels that she‘s overpowered me.         You women are very holistic creatures. You tie everything together with everything else. Sex, love, intimacy, passion, hate, sadness, happiness, etc... You laugh one minute and you cry the next. You‘re happy to be alive and beautiful one minute and you are depressed and feel worthless the next. Everything in your world is a chaotic jumble that cannot be seperated from anything else. That‘s why you go crazy sometimes and feel like ripping your hair out, or cutting your wrists just to confirm that you‘re still alive. That‘s why you need a man to separate things for you and draw clear lines of distinction, thereby bringing order to your chaos. That‘s what I‘m here for. This is why I as a man was born. You as a woman were born to please me so that I can please you. You must see the lines of distinction between sex, love, intimacy, passion, happiness, sadness, etc... Us men are here to show them to you without succumbing to your feminine need to castrate us into your Titanic watching "good boys." True intimacy is born out of male dominance and female submission for the sake of the male‘s happiness and the female‘s. Wow, this was a long post wasn‘t it? Sorry, I got waaay carried away. LOL. But I feel that everything that I said was necessary to be said. If you‘re read this far, give yourself a big hug! LOL And yes, I really mean it when I say, I‘m harsh because I care. Cheers to you Hippie .

First of all, my "verbal diarrhea" is due to my desire to be as accurate and precise as I can be without someone asking me for clarification. I‘m not obssessed or anything. I‘m just a very passionate man. Forgive me. I usually intend to write only a few sentances but then realize that those need to be qualified and pretty soon I‘m writing a whole book. Hey, that can‘t be helped. Sorry I can‘t pack everything I want to say into those pathetic three word slogans like "Keeping America Strong" that politicians use to control the sheep whose brains would explode if they heard something that takes four words or more to illustrate. Don‘t hate me cause I‘m knowledgable and want to spread that knowledge because I care about you. lol So, with that said, here‘s more of my diarrhea (lots of it - this will be long but extremely necessary to write):"

Jesus tap dancing Christ!!!! What typical female garbage you‘re spewing here! Classic feministic tactic! At first I just thought you were a golddigger, but now I see that you are one of the typical female sheep out there whose cliche  hippie feminine statements are punctuated by headache worthy "inner child seeking" feminine bull****!

Welcome to WOMANSAVERS and could I ask politely what drives you?

Running from intimacy? Lack of self esteem? No maturity? Great here we go! This is so cliche that it‘s laughable. I recognize the feminist agenda here to turn men into ball-less, feminine Titantic-watching cry babies that you have total control over while you go behind their backs and have wild anal sex or voluntarily engage in the reenactment of a grotesque rape fantasy with some sexy badboy gang member in a dirty public bathroom stall!!!

This is quite a generalized, sweeping statement. I disagree that there is a clear cut feminist agenda that all women conform to. I am wondering if there has been similar traits in the women you have dated, that maybes there is some truth in that we tend to attract the same types time and time again, failing to find “the one” simply because WE repeat the same patterns?? I  for one wouldn’t do to others what I wouldn’t accept done to myself. The toilet stall would be a no go for me!!

I meet women like you all the time. Yes, I‘ll open myself up to intimacy! I‘ll let all the anger out by crying! I‘ll get in touch with my inner child! I‘ll return to my roots as a precious child of mother Earth and discover the goddess that lives in all of us! I‘ll cry on women‘s shoulders! I‘ll totally open myself up to feeling all the tearful wonder that I can feel even if it leads to constant weeping! It‘s okay! I know no one‘s looking! I‘ll let it out! I‘ll breathe the goddess in and out....

....and while I‘m at it, why don‘t I just change my name to "Squirrel Lover" or "Butterfly Whisperer" and take a job at a flower shop where I can be in touch with the elements? (Why did they have to kill Bamby‘s mom? Whyyyyyyyy!!!!!)

Maybe’s this is it, you are meeting a certain type of women, all the time. Could you be going after the wrong ones?? I think it is what is inside of us as individuals is what drives us in life. We can all ridicule inner child / adult theories but there just might be some truth to the saying “we reap what we sow”. 

Do you know what makes me sick to my stomach "Hippie?" There are actually weak feminine men out there, like that first wuss who posted about "life companions," that actually are brainwashed by that ****! They take on the personality characteristics of a woman. They‘re in touch with their "inner goddess." They cry in front of women. When they have a dispute with another man, they offer to take him to the park, walk around, and process their psychological squabble, followed by a big "manly" hug and a promise to never fight again. Please excuse me while I puke!

Here’s a bucket, no puking on the floor please…. Guaranteed to make me bring my boots up too. Women don’t brainwash men like men don’t brainwash women. Socialization about the world around us and the people in it begins at birth, in our homes surrounded by our families. Its further enhanced or disrupted by subsequent life experiences through-out our WHOLE lives. That’s just too much personal power in my humble opinion to give away to either gender.

Okay, I‘m back. And the original feminists have done this for a reason. Their goal was to create a new type of man that they can control absolutely. A castrated feminine male who‘s not worthy of the noble title of "Man." But there was a problem that they did not anticipate: While fulfilling their feminine desire to control weak male pussies for their own financial benefit, they didn‘t realize that they would become involuntarily unattracted to them. These women are not lesbians and they don‘t want a weak crying wimp. Such a male is good as a provider and a walking ATM machine, but for sexual attraction to exist, the man must be masculine and strong in a woman‘s eyes - he must have some balls!

I believe sexual attraction does need to exist on both sides, however I disagree with the ATM attraction. Call me a feminist but I pay my own bills and always have. Has some woman taken you for a ride, used you and then taken you to the cleaners financially?

You women need to realize that there are two contradictory sides to a woman‘s nature. The first side wants to have sex with men. The second side wants to control men and "tame" or "domesticate" them in order to be reassured of your own feminine strength and sexual power. Both will greatly boost your own self esteem. Unfortunately, one can only be fullfilled at the expense of the other. If you succeed in cutting off a man‘s testicles (metaphorically speaking), you‘ll be reassured that "you still got it," but you‘ll involuntarily immediately lose all sexual passion for him. He‘s no longer a challange. On the other hand, you‘re passionately sexual attracted to the wild badboy or "knight in shining armor:" A wild animal who simply cannot be tamed. He‘s so exciting to you isn‘t he?

Here I agree some what with you. Yeah I love a challenge, being a red blooded female, when you fancy the pants off of some one, sex is natural and good. On the other hand, sex albeit an important part of any relationship…. Isn’t actually the be all and end all. Relationships consist of many dimensions.

But, there‘s a problem: A woman has an uncontrollable instinct to fullfill both sides of her nature. So, if you marry this exciting bad boy, in about a year or so, you will try to tame him. If you do, one of two things will happen. Either you succeed or fail.

Scenerio 1:

 If you succeed, you will have done something that no other woman has ever done. You have tamed the untamable man because his love for you really is that strong. You‘ve broken him down and now he opens up to you and cries. He‘s never shared his feelings like that with any other woman. You‘re filled with joy that you‘re that good and you feel as if you‘ve achieved true intimacy. But wait, there‘s a problem. You‘re noticing that you‘re not sexually attracted to him as much as you once were. You start thinking to yourself, "Why did I do this?" Then you find yourself another wild untamable alpha male (let‘s say the plumber or the cable guy), and you start screwing him behind your husband‘s back. Then when he gets you pregnant, you pass his kids off as your husband‘s and thus have fullfilled both sides of your nature - To be sexually attracted to the dominant ones, and control the weak feminine ones.

My plumber didn’t do it for me, have yet to meet the cable guy, hahaha

Scenario 2:

If you fail to tame him, you will divorce him (usually before the first child turns three because that is when a woman‘s evolutionary instincts to manipulate the man to raise the child her way peak for some reason). But after the divorce you will miss him dearly. You might still sleep with him on occasion while he‘s probably sleeping with other women too. And at the same time, you‘ll find yourself some beta male sucker to raise his kids and provide the financially stable family that the other side of your nature demands.

But again, it‘s a trade off. What usually happens is, in a marriage, the woman succeeds in controlling the man and the husband and wife never have sex again (except on special occasions like anniverseries). How can she be attracted to him if he‘s no longer a challange? Well no thank you! Take your intimacy and shove it!

Disagree. The only thing I would willingly have even tried to control about my exh in my marriage…. Would have been the violence. I saw my exh as an enhancement to my life, he wasn’t there to refill my self esteem , give me money or make me as a person,  do things my way or pander to my needs. Far from it.

You see Hippie, sexual attraction is not a choice. It is built into your DNA by thousands of years of evolution. No woman chooses to stay with the badboy and use the nice guy‘s shirt as a cleenex followed by kissing him on the cheek, saying "thanks for being such a good listener," and then leaving to have sex with her masculine badass while the nice guy says to himself "someday she‘ll see that I‘m right for her and that I would treat her like the queen that she is."

We all have choices. As individuals we make them according to situations at that time and our life experiences / lessons learnt.

Sexual attraction is good, better if felt on both sides.

It‘s in your guts. Don‘t feel guilty. It‘s just the way nature designed you in order to have only the strongest male genes passed on to the next generation. 

97% of men were not meant to reproduce - only have their sexual urges used by females to get what they want (usually get the man to adopt the provider role). Reproduction has been reserved only for the top 3% of men by nature. They get all the women while the wimps get left in the dust fighting over the ugly ones. That‘s the case in every species of animal.

So, in truth, there are two types of men - sexual aggressors and financial providers - and two sides of a woman‘s nature which can only be fulfilled at the expense of the other side - a desire to have sex and be dominated and a desire to control and dominate. The question is, which side is more dominant? Women who‘s controlling sides are more dominant are known as golddiggers or prostitutes. Women who‘s sexual sides are more dominant are known as sexually liberated women, or as some ignorant haters prefer to call them "sluts."

I cant now fathom out why some couples are out here in this world celebrating Diamond and Ruby wedding anniversaries???

Which ones a man attracts depends on what type of man he is. Idiots say that "rich guys get all the chicks." Well yes, but not because those chicks are attracted to them. They‘ll just use those rich men while sleeping with the cable guy for their sexual gratification.

I don’t buy this………. Sorry!

But you know what‘s funny? It‘s a woman‘s orgasms that give her the chemical oxytocin which creates the love emotion (intimacy as you call it). Unfortunately, the men whom you seek to be the most intimate with, are the men that will break your hearts. That‘s why women attract men who are jerks which leads to creations like this site. Golddiggers, on the other hand, are never happy and never in love. One of them even told me once (in tears) that she would trade all her millions of dollars for some romance! It was sad. And we all know that true prostitutes just lay there and go somewhere else in their heads until it‘s over. Pathetic!

Well guess what? I have a solution! How about a compromise? I‘ll consider the concept of intimacy and love after the woman establishes a willingness to sleep with me and not treat me like an emotional tampon (the way she treats those nice guys who love to get in touch with their inner children and who are too feminine and weak for her to sleep with).

Is this your personal experience with women to date??

I‘m not afraid of intimacy Nikkie. Not at all! I‘m not afraid of falling in love, having children, and dying of old age with my soulmate. I just don‘t want to lose my sex appeal. Surely you can understand that. That‘s why I think that balance is in order here. Sex first and then intimacy - but even then not too much intimacy that the woman feels that she‘s overpowered me.    

Think this applies to men and women, I don’t want to loose my sex appeal either.    

You women are very holistic creatures. You tie everything together with everything else. Sex, love, intimacy, passion, hate, sadness, happiness, etc... You laugh one minute and you cry the next. You‘re happy to be alive and beautiful one minute and you are depressed and feel worthless the next. Everything in your world is a chaotic jumble that cannot be seperated from anything else. That‘s why you go crazy sometimes and feel like ripping your hair out, or cutting your wrists just to confirm that you‘re still alive.

Cutting wrists a bit over the top and I have met men who could be described as a chaotic jumble. Life should be holistic, its not a static entity ever. It hasits  ups and downs, we react as humans in different ways, good and bad….. comes from the tools we have picked up and learnt along our journeys.

That‘s why you need a man to separate things for you and draw clear lines of distinction, thereby bringing order to your chaos. That‘s what I‘m here for. This is why I as a man was born. You as a woman were born to please me so that I can please you. You must see the lines of distinction between sex, love, intimacy, passion, happiness, sadness, etc... Us men are here to show them to you without succumbing to your feminine need to castrate us into your Titanic watching "good boys." True intimacy is born out of male dominance and female submission for the sake of the male‘s happiness and the female‘s.

True intimacy could also be born from self awareness, communication and compatibility, not just a hierarchy of gender dominance you know?

Wow, this was a long post wasn‘t it? Sorry, I got waaay carried away. LOL. But I feel that everything that I said was necessary to be said. If you‘re read this far, give yourself a big hug! LOL

Shelly Belly  for you!!

Lets hope that all men are as varied as us women. That they are as equally as unique as we are. I couldnt bare to think I might be scrambling and scrapping amongst all the women in this world for a small, select few ! I dont do violence at the worst of times

thanx tula

when i read through this thread alot of what the men were saying was troubling and actually kinda scary. i have no clue how you figure out if a guy thinks like this before making a commitment for life or even dating. its like if men really believed this it would make me relive nightmares of my past.

Just want to be clear on my end.  My post was a sarcastic one.  I would never sleep with someone on the first date.  I feel it is very important to get to know someone first.  Sex doesn‘t MAKE a relationship it just makes it soo much better.  I even told my H when I first met him that he had to invest in the nookie!  It was to cost him $1000.00.  You have never seen a man plan dates and get aways soo fast!  LOL!!  I guess I was worth it cause we are still together fifteen years later.  Only thing is, now I am paying him for the nookie! 

Do all men think this way? Unfortunately no, only the ones that are successful with women; the ones that have abundent sex lives and high self esteem. There are plenty of men on the other hand who will kiss your ass and allow you to control them, do everything on your terms, and generally just be grateful for even the tiniest kiss that you give them because you are a goddess and they‘re not worthy to experience your generosity or see your beauty. I call them manginas. So cheer up. Everytime the sun comes up, a mangina turns 18. 

As for your second question, how can you tell if a guy is like me or not? Simple, just ask yourself, Is he confident? Does he have a spine? Does he have his own opinions? Is he willing to look you in the eye when he disagrees with you?Does he want a say in the direction of a relationship?

If you answered yes to at least three of these questions, the odds are he‘s similar to me. On the other hand:

Does he believe that men‘s sexual desires are always bad and shameful, especially if they come into conflict with women‘s desires (e.g. you want a relationship and he just wants sex)?

Does he believe that women‘s desires are always good and shameless, even if they come into conflict with a man‘s desires (e.g. he wants a relationship and you just wanna be friends)?

If the answer to both is yes than you have yourself a mangina. Congratulations, I‘m sure you‘ll be very happy together. Your terms will always predominate and his never will. On your 30th wedding anniversary, he‘ll be saying to all his friends what most stupid husbands whose spirits have been broken say, "Oh yeah, my wife is the smart one. I‘m just the husband. Ha ha ha! I‘m not pathetic. That‘s just reality. Us men can either be right or happy. ha ha ha!"

I hope you find that man of your dreams. A real man is more than you can handle.

Tula1969 - sorry I couldn‘t respond. I was very busy yesterday. You asked me many things. I promise I‘ll respond tonight or early tomorrow morning.  

I always wondered....why only women are "sluts" for sleeping with men on the first date...but men aren‘t.

I don‘t buy into that double standard.And the man I slept with on the first date...isn‘t a hypocrit.Actually,we have been living together for the past 6 months tomorrow.

"Mangina"?

Truth is subjective....and no one should try to impose thier morality on anyone else.Live and let live.

Women want and need sex too! And just because some of us don‘t live like puritans,doesn‘t make us ‘sluts‘.

That term makes me SICK.

And just because some women don‘t have sex with a man until they get to know them,  it doesn‘t make them gold diggers either.

I guess some people think that women don‘t enjoy sex,  they think its something we do to please our man.

NOT!!!!

You: Welcome to WOMANSAVERS and could I ask politely what drives you?

Me: Thanks for the welcome. What drives me? Well that‘s a rather loaded question. I‘m not sure what you mean. You mean why am I here? Well, I can see that you ladies are in some desperate need for truth, which I am happy to provide. I want to empower you women by telling you what you‘re doing wrong and helping you understand men better. Truth hurts, but in the long run, this will empower you and make you better women.

Very noble of you, LOL! I like your offer of helping us women understand men better but could you put your hand on your heart and say all men are like you?? That you are the guru of all men and your views are those of all males??? I am not being rude or sarcastic here, merely asking if what you think is what all men think?? I am typing away here to you now and acknowledge that what I am actually typing is ONLY my humble opinion. I wouldn’t be so bold to assume that every other woman on this planet thought like I did.

I’m not entirely feeling its all about what “us women” are doing wrong. Could you compromise and be open to the suggestion that perhaps its actually both “us men and women” that could be doing it wrong??

Me: Yes we do repeat the same patterns (damn it, why is this bold?). The women that I have actually agreed to date had the exact psychology that I described. I‘m convinced it‘s the way nature designed the female mind.

Mr Unpopulartruth (it is not bold anymore hahaha) your perspective for gendered behaviour in intimate relationships is kinda uncompromising. I respect that you favour biological / genetical explanations but how can you dispute / rule out the social and contextual variables that also shape behaviours in everyday life?? These too have subsequent effects on / in relationships??

Me: No I don‘t think I‘m going after the wrong ones. I think all women, at their core, have a similar personality blueprint drilled into their DNA. There are plenty of variations but at her core a woman is a woman and her desires are born out of biological imperatives that she cannot change. What a woman wants vs. what she would prefer to want are two different things.  

I am now wondering if you are focusing on biological explanations of gender roles in terms of what each contributes to relationships??? I disagree and personally believe that men and women are dependent on each other to get their needs met.  Love, passion, sexual activity  are needs required by both genders.  Male or female, we have expectations of ourselves and OTHERS. Take gender out of the equation for a moment and consider that to have intimacy, someone has to have the ability or capability to value it, seek it and tolerate it. Male or female.

You are not going after the wrong ones??? Us women are all blue printed the same??? Gosh where does that leave you then and all the men in this world??? Pretty duped if we are all the same huh??  I don’t think you can sum up all women in such a clear cut fashion, its just not reasonable or fair. I happen to believe that culture, religion, class, age etc etc are all variables that make and shape us, its just not as clean cut as you make in my humble opinion.

Me: I agree. I‘m not knocking environmental factors, but there is also an evolutionary componant to personality that should not be overlooked. What nature wants us to do forms our most basic urges and drives.

OK, But what about development??? Social and practical development?? What we experience as infants lays the foundations for us to build upon as adolescents and so on and so on. The point I am trying to convey here is the one of how the basics of intimacy change as we change, as men and women mature and their needs change too.

Me: That doesn‘t make you a feminist. That makes you a decent human being. Good for you. You‘d be surprised how many women have dedicated there whole lives to being socialist parasites - feeding off of men‘s hard work. Here in America, so many women tell me that they don‘t want to work. They want to relax all day and get manicures while the husband works his ass off, because he‘s the man. To me, that‘s not sexist against women. It‘s sexist against men. Why should men work while women relax? Golddiggers like this should be forced to wear warning labals lol. Money should be completely gender neutral. I‘m glad you agree. As for women "taking me for a ride," many have tried, all have failed. 

I am glad all have failed, I had visions/thoughts that you may have been “rinsed out financially” and am sincerely glad that this is not the case.

I wouldn’t necessarily call the women that do this, gold-diggers all on their own, I would also refer to their men as you so quaintly put it, as manginas. I do however think this could lead into another great debate regarding “un-paid” labour here. Women that don’t do paid work but are at home child-rearing and keeping house have their work cut out. It’s a great feminist chant that women are responsible for atleast 2/3’s of all unpaid labour in this world. In a partnership as I have just described, woman at home doing all this and man out bringing the bread home, I think that borders on equality or at the very least a working partnership!! 

Me: True, but without sex, there is no relationship. That‘s what some these women need to get. Sex is where a relationship begins. I would never agree to be exclusive with a woman who I am not yet sleeping with. if we‘re just kissing, I am free to do anything I want with any other woman I choose (and she is free to do the same with other men). Sleep with me and then we can have a serious discussion about an exclusive relationship.

I am going to be totally honest here and hope that you are a respectful dude. You are only talking for yourself here. So you suggest to all us women that if we don’t shag straight off then we have no relationship, can not hope for or foresee any relationship?? I don’t agree that relationships start with sex. We each have expectations of ourselves and others….. validation, appreciation, understanding to name but a few are significant factors that may lead to our expressing them in sexual pleasures at some point.

Saying that I do agree that as humans we all have needs, we can choose whether we want to take things slow and get to know each other or just dive on in there and do it. Its down to the individual. Men and women can both choose to do either if it suits, know I would.

You:My plumber didn’t do it for me, have yet to meet the cable guy, hahaha

Me: Good luck! Lol

I might just cut the aerial, LOL

Me: Well if he was abusing you, then he was the bad boy type. You probably would have been too scared to control him. Physical abusers are just a more aggressive manifestations of the weak wimps, or manginas. They have no psychological power over you, so they resort to physical hitting because that‘s all they got. It‘s pathetic. But if there would have been no violance, I‘m sure your inner nature would have come out.

I wouldn’t have “been too scared to control him”. I don’t believe I have the right to try to control anyone or anything. I am an open minded woman, I know that the only control I hold is over myself.

Me: Wrong. You can‘t overcome biology. You have choices about whether or not to act on your urges, but you don‘t choose the urges. My point was that women are not attracted to men whom they‘d like to be. What they say on Oprah is BS. They say they want a nice guy who will treat them like princesses. But when they get one, they‘re not attracted to him because he lacks masculinity. They end up sleeping with the confident man and using the poor nice guy orbiter as an emotional tampon. Life experiences and lessons learned are ignored. You can‘t fight your DNA. As a woman, your core screams out to you. You must listen. Nature won‘t take no for an answer.   

I struggle abit with this part of your perspective. Yeah I agree, if we have urges, we can choose to act on them or not. Yeah we don’t get to choose our urges either. BUT I am back to my suggestion of “nature versus nurture”. Our very nurturing will define how we react toward nature!!

Me: Sexual attraction is meaningless unless felt by both sides.

Agree, personally wouldn’t even go there if I wasn’t feeling it!

Me: Then let me explain it to you. Women are mostly sexually attracted to those men whom they can‘t nail down. Once they‘ve nailed down a man and can control him, they lose interest and sexual arousal. They find themselves asking, "Is this all there is?" If marriages have last long, either they are cheating on each other, or more likely, the woman has domesticated the man (thus fulfilling the second side of her nature) and therefore, lost all attraction to him. How often are they having sex? Probably only on those anniversaries. There‘s no attraction anymore  and the husband says to every other man that, in a relationship, a man can be either right or happy. It‘s sick. 

NAH AND NOPE! You can not possibly lay the whole “blame” at the biological feet of women. IF married couples find themselves asking “is this all there is?” then responsibility in my eyes suggests that they both need to take good, long hard looks at themselves as individuals and as a couple. Marriages and relationships TAKE TWO, two participating, contributing and working at it at all times. Attraction may dwindle, I agree, physical changes happen inevitably with time, but however there are other attributes that are attractive that have nothing to do with sex and appearance etc etc.

Me: You don‘t buy that women marry rich men for the money and then use other men for their sexual gratification? It‘s in her nature. A guy once told me that this woman really liked this one man and would sleep with him, but never date him, because he wasn‘t making enough money. She wanted the knight in shining armor fantasy. Prostitution and sexual satisfaction are women‘s two natural drives. I have no problem with the latter, just the former. Sexual satisfaction for women leads to a release of oxytocin which provokes the love chemical. Consequently, she will fall in love with the sexual aggressor and marry the financial provider. The question is, would she still stay with him if he weren‘t rich? Even if the answer is yes initially, eventually the lifestyle will blur things for her and she will associate the man with the lifestyle, even if she doesn‘t mean to. It‘s her nature. Again, what women want and what they would prefer to want are two different things. If a man gives a womanwhat she wants, he will always be sexually successful. If he gives her what she would prefer to want (the Oprah dream) he will be a used and abused pathetic mangina with nothing but a kiss on the cheek and a "let‘s just be friends" speech to show for it.

It could very well be in her “nuture” as opposed to her nature and the same could be said for the men in this world you know. If anyone, man or woman is out there in this world going for and getting what they prefer as opposed to what they want and need, then in my book they are doomed and not living a full life. Not living a true to themselves life. All the money from all the tea in China does not equate fulfillment or genuine happiness. Sorry but I am still not buying this.

Me: Yes, as well as the personal experience of everyone I know.

Get some new people in your life who can tell you differently. Life, women and men are so, so, so just not this clean cut. Honestly.

Me: But what makes women sexually appealing is not what makes men sexually appealing. Women are sexually appealing because of their physical looks, signs of fertility, etc... Men are sexually appealing based on their place on the scale of male dominance and masculinity. A weak "what do you want to do tonight dear?" type of mangina with absolutely no male energy, drive, ambition, confidence, competance, and masculinity will never attract a woman for long, except the ugly ones or they will cheat on him, or want to.  Being intimate, lovey dovey, crying in front of the female, will worsen the sex, and treating a woman like a princess, putting her on a pedestal, constantly deferring to her, will turn her off very fast. It will leave her wondering, "Where are the real men? I want a man that can handle himself and be a true male around the house."  

You suggest here that women are sexually appealing because of their physical looks etc. That’s kinda shallow in my book, shallow, narrow minded with tunnel vision. We woman are not just how we look on the outside, we are also what we are on the insides. Men just the same in equal measures. A man being honest, true to himself, open and earnest would definitely enhance the sex for me.

I am confident that a man would find a woman even more attractive if she had so much more to offer than a great figure, pert tits and great looks???

Me: Yeah I‘m sure you have met men who are chaotic jumbles. They‘re called nice guys, wimps, pussies, wusses, manginas, geeks, nerds, dorks, orbiters, homosexuals, feminine, or the word that seems to be a personal favorite among women - friends. Maybe life should be holistic, but masculine energy is all about creating lines of distinction and seperation in order to make sense of everything. Feminine energy is about seeing the whole picture. Masculine energy is about being in a state of nothingness, and thererfore, analyzing everything from the outside, in order to obtain an objective and rational perspective. Feminine energy is all about being full of life and experiencing everything in the moment with feelings instead of rational thoughts. Both perspectives have equal value and merit, but both perspectives are doomed to fail without the balancing force of the other. That‘s why men and women need each other. Our reactions don‘t just come from the tools we‘ve picked up and learned, they also come from our inner core or nature that is determined by our genes.

Creating lines of distinction?? Do you really mean creating the hierarchy of gender dominance you refer to?? Responsibility and maturity should only suggest that we see the WHOLE picture, how can we make determinations on only half the facts???

Both perspectives are bound to fail without the balancing force of the other….. are you oblivious to same sex, intimate relationships???

I repeat “nature versus nature” Mr Unpopulartruth.

If masculine energy is all about being in a state of nothingness and analizing all from the outside, then I’d assume men are simply empty critters. I am happy to tell you this is not the case as I have met men who have as ample on the outside as they do on the inside.

Me: I absolutely believe in self awareness, communication, and compatibility, but a hierarchy of gender dominance will determine those things. No two people are absolutely equal. Equality, in many ways, is context specific. This may not be true in the professional, legal, or political world, but is certainly true in the personal. A woman always wants to know how far she can push you before you push back. That way, she knows her boundaries and feels safe. If a man let‘s a woman walk all over him, she will, and she will not respect him despite all the intimacy, self awareness, communication, and compatibillity in the world. Women will destroy a good thing when they see it and then ask, "What‘s wrong with me?," "Why do I do this to myself?," "Why do I push people away?," unless and until she meets an emotionally strong man who knows his own proper place and will not budge from it. She will greatly respect and appreciate him in the longrun, even if she hates it in the short run. Now that‘s man that she will fall in love with and compatibility, communication, and self awareness will flow and be appreciated from that context only.

THERE ARE ALWAYS EXCEPTIONS TO YOUR RULE. Context specific, what about socialization, culture etc etc??? Ideally there should not be a gender hierarchy at all, just natural differences that are specific to context, specifics and current environment.

Nobody should walk all over anyone, man or woman. Either walks all over the other, respect will be lost, EACH SHOULD KNOW THEIR BOUNDARIES born of humanistic, moralistically correct traits.

Give yourself a hug if you’ve read all this, hahahaha

Wisdum, I agree with you completely! Now that‘s some true wisdom right there! That word makes me sick to my stomach as well. But let me explain to you the double standard:

Throughout history, weak feminine men have been terrified of female sexuality because if a woman can choose to sleep with whoever she wants as her desires dictate, these unattractive manginas will no longer be able to buy these women from their fathers in exchange for two pigs and a goat!

In Muslim countries, women‘s clitorises are sliced off and their vaginas stiched up just to take away their sexual pleasure so they don‘t cheat on their husbands. Essentially, the word "slut" is a tool used by weak men who can‘t get laid, and by jealous women (usually the ugly ones) who wish to peer pressure other women into a state of conformity so as not to feel alone. It‘s pathetic, and it‘s all the result of weakness.

An argument can be made that alpha males also have an interest in the sheep using that word. By brainwashing the beta males and ugly women into thinking that sex on the part of the female is wrong, the female will only sleep with the man that won‘t judge her for it. If the alpha male is that only man, the breeding and reproductive potential of these beautiful women has been secured exclusively for the alpha males and alpha females, while the beta males can masturbate and call those women sluts and the beta females can use that word as well to make themselves feel better. That‘s okay, because these weak retards shouldn‘t be reproducing anyway, according to Darwin. This way, the competition is eliminated for the truly worthy, and the sheep don‘t get in the way of creating a species of emotionally strong supersoldiers as evolution demands.

Personally, I sympathize with the notion that sometimes it may be necessary to brainwash certain weak people so they don‘t get in the way of important work, but I think calling sexually liberated women "sluts" goes too far and hurts too many women simply for doing what every cell in their body is screaming at them to do. That word really does more harm than good, as it punishes women for good behavior, shoots every man in the foot for using that word, and leads to untold emotional pain for women who simply refuse to fight against themselves. Basically, the word "slut" robs you of your inner womanhood. That is unforgivable! The price of controlling the sheep is too high!

However, I don‘t think that sexually liberated women deserve the word "stud." That word is reserved exclusively for men because us men had to work for it. Women, on the other hand, don‘t have to work to get sex. Most women can have sex with the snap of their fingers, so stud, a word connoting victory, is a word that should be reserved exclusively for men.

I was very impressed with your post. I‘m glad you feel this way. You‘re one of the enlightened ones. I agree with everything you said, except for that whole "truth is subjective" and "no one should impose morality on others" crap. Now that‘s just hippie nonsense, which merits some correction. Truth is NOT subjective.

There is objective truth in this universe if you just open your eyes to see it. Confused sheep say there isn‘t because it has been cleverly hidden by men in power. There are far less objective rules than systems of slavery, such as religion, would have you believe, but they‘re there. There is a design and order to this universe and we all have our place in it.

You‘ve done well by recognizing sexual liberation as just as natural for the female as for the male. Good for you. But don‘t now ruin it by falling into the hippie trap of "well nothing matters, there is no truth, and we should just accept everything because, who‘s to say?" Uhhhh, no! That‘s just another method of control. Believe this and you also end up not getting in the way of important people who are actually engaged in carrying out the objective truth of existence. Continue your thinking. You‘re on the right path.      

By the way, I have a question for you: How do you put my quotes into the message section and therefore avoid responding to me in the quote section the way I just did to you? Are you writing my stuff out again? I hope not. That‘s too much work. LOL.

 "But don‘t now ruin it by falling into the hippie trap of "well nothing matters, there is no truth, and we should just accept everything because, who‘s to say?" Uhhhh, no! That‘s just another method of control. Believe this and you also end up not getting in the way of important people who are actually engaged in carrying out the objective truth of existence. Continue your thinking. You‘re on the right path."

The Objective Truth of Existence?

HA! When people stop living in a deulsionary state of mine and wake up and realize....godisimaginary.com....

We are DOOMED as a society to follow in masses like sheep far away from the obejctive truth of Existence!

Everything matters,just not everything that matters to me matters to you.

The one bumper sticker I have is COEXIST.

Does that make me a hippie? lol

I meant that your truth isn‘t necessarily mine.Truth is based on an individuals personal opinion and perspective  and we are all entitled to it.Doesn‘t make it TRUTH per se.

I was commenting on your Screen Name.

It‘s only unpopular if some see‘s things differently than you do.And they really do have the RIGHT to thier opinions.

As do you...but cop to it ,all you think. say and feel is simply your opinion and it‘s as scewed and biased and sometimes misinformed as the next guys! I never pretend I know it all.

But I most certainly question just about everything and everyone one and take away my own opinions.

I only come at people with Questions and an open mind based on my own experiences.I ALWAYS question anyone who acts as though they consider themselves an Authority as I know those are the most insecure people out there.

No one has the right to invalidate (judge,mock,shame,belittle) someone‘s feelings,thoughts,choices,behaviors or morality.  

I am not a "hippie" I am evolved enough to know that it‘s not MY WAY OR THE HIGHWAY.

I do believe in Women‘s rights,Gay Rights to marry,.Pro choice,but not the death penalty...Two wrongs NEVER make a right.

And the right for the wealthy to keep thier HARD EARNED Money without it being taxed to SH*T to pay for the poor.

So yeah...sex is just one issue I have an opinion about.

 I don‘t allow weak men or stupid woman to define me or anyone around me with the term SLUT.

That says alot more about THIER issues,than mine.

I think those men are simply afraid of us being in charge of our own MINDS.let alone our bodies.

What I choose to do with my body is no one‘s GD business and I do agree to disagree with those who think they can define MY morality with thier repressed ideals.And typcially lauch in thier faces.

As for the MOTHER F*CKERS who mutilate women‘s vagina‘s, rape them,keep them emotionally and physically imprisoned due to thier own weak egos...may thier "GODs" whack off thier puds with rusty knives and toss them to the sharks!

Or at the very least...PLEASE....someone hold them accountable!

Oh...and some of your truths are also mine.Does that make them more popular? lol

I‘m kind because I care.

Wisdum