Ironically,I am 45 and also live right outside of Greenville, NC.
Can you get a job at Pitt Memorial Hospital? I see you are a nurse.
Thankfully,I just ended a 25 year marriage to a control freak and am with a man with a heart finally!
I feel for your plight though.Looks like you got yourself conned by a man with issues you didn‘t see before you said I do.I hear your confusion and fear and wanted to lend you some hard won knowledge that might not help your current financial postion,but it might help your confusion about why he is doing this and what he might be.
Does any of this sound familar?
http://www.halcyon.com/jmashmun/npd/traits.html
There is no coincidence that he has been married and divorced twice I can promise you that.You seem to be just the next victim,and only you can change the outcome of that with Knowledge and getting your own money together!
The best defense is a good offense and knowledge is POWER!!
CHARACTERISTICS of the NARCISSIST
1. Self-centered. His needs are paramount.
2. No remorse for mistakes or misdeeds.
3. Unreliable, undependable.
4. Does not care about the consequences of his actions.
5. Projects faults on to others. High
blaming behavior; never his fault.
6. Little if any conscience.
7. Insensitive to needs and feelings of others.
8. Has a good front (persona) to impress and exploit others.
9. Low stress tolerance. Easy to anger and rage.
10. People are to be manipulated for his needs.
11. Rationalizes easily. Twists conversation to his gain at other’s expense. If trapped, keeps
talking, changes the subject or gets angry.
12. Pathological lying.
13. Tremendous need to control situations, conversations, others.
14. No real values. Mostly situational.
15. Often perceived as caring and understanding and uses this to manipulate.
16. Angry, mercurial, moods.
17. Uses sex to control
18. Does not share ideas, feelings, emotions.
19. Conversation controller. Must have the first and last word.
20. Is very slow to forgive others. Hangs onto resentment.
21. Secret life. Hides money, friends, activities.
22. Likes annoying others. Likes to create chaos and disrupt for no reason.
23. Moody - switches from nice guy to anger without much provocation.
24. Repeatedly fails to honor financial obligations.
25. Seldom expresses appreciation.
26. Grandiose. Convinced he knows more than others and is correct in all he does.
27. Lacks ability to see how he comes across to others. Defensive when confronted with his behavior. Never his fault.
28. Can get emotional, tearful. This is about show or frustration rather than sorrow.
29. He breaks woman‘s spirits to keep them dependent.
30. Needs threats, intimidations to keep others close to him.
31. Sabotages partner. Wants her to be happy only through him and to have few or no outside interests and acquaintances.
32. Highly contradictory.
33. Convincing. Must convince people to side with him.
34. Hides his real self. Always “on”
35. Kind only if he‘s getting from you what he wants.
36. He has to be right. He has to win. He has to look good.
37. He announces, not discusses. He tells, not asks.
38. Does not discuss openly, has a hidden agenda.
39. Controls money of others but spends freely on himself.
40. Unilateral condition of, "I‘m OK and justified so I don‘t need to hear your position or ideas"
41. Always feels misunderstood.
42. You feel miserable with this person. He drains you.
43. Does not listen because he does not care.
44. His feelings are discussed, not the partners.
45. Is not interested in problem-solving..
46. Very good at reading people, so he can manipulate them. Sometimes called gaslighting.
If you are feeling as though you just got punched in the stomach by how familiar all this sounds.....you married a man with some serious N-TRAITS.
Not many people know about this and it‘s always shocking to realize that you were undoubtedly conned into loving this man by his MASK and are now facing the real demon behind it.
I suggest you google Narcissistic Personality Disorder and learn as much as you can so you RETAIN your sanity until you can walk..no RUN to the nearest divorce attorney and get out of this ASAP before he does even more damage to your life.
There is nothing worse than jumping from the frying pan into the fire without even knowing it and I am sure your first marriage is looking TAME by comparrison to this guy.
Do NOT lay down and take his abuse.
STAND TALL and FIGHT BACK!
He loves to see you squirm.Be matter of fact with him and mention the AUTHORITIES at every turn.
It takes but one call and a restraining order and filing a separation agreement and you are on your way to court with this guy.You as a WIFE have rights to HALF of ALL....don‘t forget that.
I wish I could just say.hey,come on over...but I don‘t know you from "eve".lol
Wisdum