WomanSavers.com Forum / GENERAL / Sleeping with guys right away - opinions?

There is no attempt from me, to making you feel like crap; you are doing that yourself, just like when you made a negative comment on someone’s poem in another topic, that you took personally.

Nope, just wondering if they felt men didn‘t exhibit the same traits.  It was sarcasm I admit, and I apologized for it.

nice try

It is not the same; men usually have affairs for different reasons than women. There is something that some males who call themselves “nice guys” do not get, and that is, what may appear to look like a man treating a woman like crap, is really flirting/having fun/teasing/etc.; many men that appear like “bad-boys,” are really some of the nicest people a person can meet

thats why women complain to the high heaven‘s about them. *rolling eyes*  read some of the posts by women here, and you‘ll get it that they think bad boys suck and they list their reasons.

No, it started when you told this forum that OM/OW have no obligation to be decent to anyone else, including the women of this forum, to stay away from screwing other people‘s spouses.  Hence, OM/OW can consider married individuals fair game.  Sure, its the MM/MW where the greater responsibility lies, but this doesn‘t mitigate the despicable actions of people that screw other people‘s spouses.

I was just wondering if you were one of them.  Thats why I asked the question.

And I guess your avoidance of the answer, and flippant response, says that you are one of them.

Sorry learning,  off topic again  but I have one more question for somebdy.

I was a bit offended by a comment you made to MTB

it is as if you think  we deserve to be cheated on,  like it was our fault.  saying that we are boring or didn‘t keep things hot in a relationship. 

I think you are wrong,  I don‘t feel that there is anything that  can be done in a marriage that would cause somebody to cheat.  (short of the other person cheating)

I feel that in a marriage if something is wrong you should discuss it.   I pray you never know the heart ache that comes with being cheated on.  I think it is something that you have to go thru to understand.

shally wrote:

Well said True and sunny!  And I tried to get my h to sleep with me on our first date. He said no.

He knew you were a keeper and he respected you to much.

He wanted to make sure that you would be his and only his   FOREVER!!

My hats off to H!! What a true gem you have Shally!

I put it all in one post; this post is for you to get notified.

Somebdy

I understand what you are saying about making it personal

But if you have ever been thru the hell that some of us have, it would be personal to you if you were told that you caused your spouse to cheat. 

I don‘t feel there is anything that I could have done to make my spouse cheat.  I feel if you want to be with somebody else,  sexually or emotionally  then you need to file for a divorce. 

You should be comfortable in a marriage,  you should beable to be yourself and still have a wonderful time,  there shouldn‘t be fear of losing them to somebody esle all all the time.

No one can ever be held responsible for the choices, decisions or actions of another human being.

We simply are NOT God!

MrTrueBlue

I answered your question numerous times, but your comprehension seems minimal; however, I did not say this, “…OM/OW have no obligation to be decent to anyone else,…” ; you are interpreting it that way (comprehension skills again?)

you didn‘t say it, you implied it.

I have read three subject matters, and each one you have responded with selfish negative non-informative (except relating to yourself) posts; maybe I got you at a bad week. I lost my wife and two children…asshole

and that gives you the right to try and put down someone who was betrayed?  I‘m sorry for your wife.  But that doesn‘t give you a pass to take a swipe at someone betrayed.  You did that to me, and every woman on this site that has been cheated on.

and unlike you, I am not here to get an easy date.

LOL, boy, "somebody" is REALLY grasping at straws now.

It appears to me, you did/do not want to take any responsibility for your marriage; I can think of a dozen reasons why your ex avoided your affection, and most, you will not like to hear.

well go ahead and tell it, because that reasoning would apply to all the women on this site whose husband avoided their affection as well.

so go ahead, I‘m sure the ladies of this site would love to hear how you think its their fault, and mine, that they were cheated on.

However, 2 people are responsible for the marriage....it only takes one to be selfish and go outside the marriage. 

 Personally, I would have fought for my wife,

I don‘t fight for a cheater.  OM can have her, he got her, she cheated on him.....he now controls her every move.  none of this drama is no longer my problem....life is good.

to fight for something, it has to be worth fighting for. ....she wasn‘t.

if I were in your shoes, because I loved her,

see there is the problem.  once i found out she cheated mulitple times, I no longer loved her.  she became someone I only thought i knew and nobody I wanted to be with.

my future/present is fine.  i obviously picked a serial cheater in a wife, i found out she has never been faithful to any guy she has been with after the fact...including her new man.  only problem is now she picked the wrong man to be cheating on.  sucks to be her.

“I don‘t feel that there is anything that can be done in a marriage that would cause somebody to cheat.” Yet more than sixty percent of the population does; ask the cheaters, and they will disagree

of course THEY will *rolling eyes*

I am not saying get back with your ex; I am saying learn from it, at all angles and sides. Most everyone has been in both shoes, though many do not want to admit it, because it is part of the dating process, so I am familiar with the pain/shock/violation (I walked in on a girlfriend with my own eyes in college;) then again, I believe people need to take responsibility for their own happiness, and not rely on others.

I did take responsibility for my own happiness....thats why i divorced her

I really hope for your lives to be fulfilled with exemplary happiness

ya, thats exactly why you decided to take a stab at those that have been betrayed and rub our noses in sh#t.  kudos!!

"I don‘t feel there is anything that I could have done to make my spouse cheat."

Unfortunately, "somebody" thinks otherwise.  Based on that logic, and mind you this isn‘t coming from me, you must not have made him feel like a man enough to keep him at home.

disclaimer: no, that isn‘t how I see it at all, but that is what has been promoted in this thread by him.

Ive slept with a few men in a few week periods but one on the first date (who ended up being my STBX.) WRONG MOVE

We had great sex EXPLOSIVE but our relationship still went to h*ll

Never again I swear the next time any man is "getting some" I ve gotta eithter be engaged or married .

ITS NOT WORTH IT

Kahlan wrote:

Whoa, hold on to your reins there cowboy. How can one possibly throw any blame for cheating? My ex used to stay home all day playing on his computer while I worked two jobs. He went from fresh and yummy and gorgeous to smelly and greasy and repulsive. I would come home tired and meet his emotionally abusive ass. His idea was foreplay was to turn around and say "I really wanna **** you right now". Unsurprisingly, by the end of the relationship most of the times the answer was "No". When we were breaking up he wanted me to be really grateful that he didn‘t cheat on me, even though I "deserved it" for not sleeping with him over a period of a couple of months - when by the way, I was THIS close to heavy depression. And you know what? I can‘t honestly say that he hasn‘t cheated. I just don‘t know and probably never will. Can you put your hand on your heart and say it was my fault for not sleeping with him? When you feel the need to sleep around, either deal with it, or break up. It‘s that simple. Now please, please back on topic, and I mean this in the most polite way possible. The discussion has been wrenched away from the main subject and into the pit of a heated rant. Perhaps a separate post would be more constructive?

He sounds a lot like my EX.

Wow,  there are so many losers out there!

I tried really hard to raise my boys to respect women.  So far it has worked.

LOL, please quote where I indicated anything of the sort.

You are pulling this out of your ass.  I think it is you that is here to take advantage of women and looking for some internet nookie, since it is you that are selling yourself as a man of the world.

Again, you seem to dance around my challenge to you.  Explain to these women why you think they deserved to be cheated on, or at the very least why you think they were cheated on because they didn‘t make their men feel like men.

come on...you don‘t get a free pass on your words.  man up and back up your comments.