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| Funnysl |
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Posted: 10/16/2009 2:53 PM |
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Subject: Sleeping with guys right away - opinions? |
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WomanSaver MoFo
Female Member
Age: 40
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sunshine and daisies
Wyoming
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| someody wrote: |
| MrTrueBlue wrote: |
| someody wrote: |
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My opinion is, if a person is not in a relationship/married, it is not their responsibility |
so basically, nobody has any obligation to afford a married person human decency.....therefore their spouse is fair game?
uh........ok. |
The married person should make it clear that he/she is not available, especially when the significant other is not around; love/belonging is the third layer of Maslow‘s Hierarchy of Needs, before self-esteem and self-actualization (in other words, you can’t blame a person for trying; we are only human.)
The answer to your question: life is a game -- be a man.
Rape is a different issue all together, but a women once told me: “It’s not rape if the person is willing.” |
They are both SCUM in my book!!
The cheater and his or her screwing buddy!!!
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| someody |
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Posted: 10/17/2009 6:04 AM |
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Subject: Sleeping with guys right away - opinions? |
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WomanSaver Lurker
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| sunny fl wrote: |
They are both SCUM in my book!!
The cheater and his or her screwing buddy!!! |
Considering the statistics I have read, about sixty percent of both married men and women participated in an affair, and many of them were with unmarried people; that is a lot of scum.
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| MrTrueBlue |
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Posted: 10/19/2009 10:45 AM |
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Subject: Sleeping with guys right away - opinions? |
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WomanSaver MoFo
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| Survived29 wrote: |
| MrTrueBlue wrote: |
Most of the time - not all of the time- women and men who are in a cheating relationship with our significant others started out not knowing that our significant others were infact married. A double life.
When you say "started out not knowing that our significant others were infact married" are you saying that you are with your husband because he was married before when you were seeing him, and now he is your husband?
People seem to always direct anger towards the other that our significant others cheated with, and forgive 90% okay 75% of the time their significants.over the one they cheated with..why is that?
Not me, I told my OM that I wanted to take him out for a beer for taking my xWife off my hands, that he did me a favor, and better him than me
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Do you really think that low of women?
First off. I met my husband back in 1998 when I was working as a cashier at this place he often visited, I was 18 he was 21, we both never been married. there was only two years that we were seperated back in 2003 after my brother was murdered because he couldn;t handle my break downs and left me in an hospital ( actually broke off our engamenet while I was in there) while in the mean while he filed for full custody of my daughter.
What I had meant by that statement is that alot of women or MEN who cheat with our significant others started out not knowing they were infact married.
Seeing that you follow me from thread to thread and focus on every statement I make like a bible and quote on them is a bit stalkerish. |
I think lowly of women because I asked you to clarify what you meant? uh...ok.
Don‘t blame me if you didn‘t word something well. this is what you said:
women and men who are in a cheating relationship with our significant others started out not knowing that OUR significant others were infact married. A double life.
You made this sound as if your husband was married before you met. I just wanted to know if this was the case and if you stayed with him after you knew he was married.
again, poor wording
And about the stalker thing....don‘t flatter yourself.
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| MrTrueBlue |
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Posted: 10/19/2009 10:53 AM |
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Subject: Sleeping with guys right away - opinions? |
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WomanSaver MoFo
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| someody wrote: |
| MrTrueBlue wrote: |
| someody wrote: |
|
My opinion is, if a person is not in a relationship/married, it is not their responsibility |
so basically, nobody has any obligation to afford a married person human decency.....therefore their spouse is fair game?
uh........ok. |
The married person should make it clear that he/she is not available, especially when the significant other is not around; love/belonging is the third layer of Maslow‘s Hierarchy of Needs, before self-esteem and self-actualization (in other words, you can’t blame a person for trying; we are only human.)
The answer to your question: life is a game -- be a man.
Rape is a different issue all together, but a women once told me: “It’s not rape if the person is willing.” |
What does this have to do with people that KNOW the person they are having sex with is married?
my guess is that you would STILL be of the opinion that if someone KNOWS someone else is married that they don‘t have an obligation to stay out of it.
But I guess the idea is, "if not me, they‘ll cheat with someone else anyway"....right?
I am a man, I don‘t cheat, and will NEVER sleep with someone elses spouse. And if I ever find out someone else is married that I am with, the relationship will come to an immediate halt.
Anyone that doesn‘t think they have an obligation to stay away from someone elses marriage is scum.
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| MrTrueBlue |
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Posted: 10/19/2009 10:53 AM |
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Subject: Sleeping with guys right away - opinions? |
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WomanSaver MoFo
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| someody wrote: |
| sunny fl wrote: |
They are both SCUM in my book!!
The cheater and his or her screwing buddy!!! |
Considering the statistics I have read, about sixty percent of both married men and women participated in an affair, and many of them were with unmarried people; that is a lot of scum. |
so tell us...are you in that 60 percent? you a cheater and/or feel you are entitled to sleep with someone elses spouse?
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| someody |
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Posted: 10/19/2009 9:51 PM |
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Subject: Sleeping with guys right away - opinions? |
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WomanSaver Lurker
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| MrTrueBlue wrote: |
| someody wrote: |
| sunny fl wrote: |
They are both SCUM in my book!!
The cheater and his or her screwing buddy!!! |
Considering the statistics I have read, about sixty percent of both married men and women participated in an affair, and many of them were with unmarried people; that is a lot of scum. |
so tell us...are you in that 60 percent? you a cheater and/or feel you are entitled to sleep with someone elses spouse? |
Are you one of those guys that once married, you dropped the romance and figured your wife was to join you in a boring routine the rest of your lives? I would bet yes; that is the main reason women have affairs outside of marriage. Your response, that you typed in your own words, tells me so; if you were a man, you would still be married to your now ex-wife.
The answer to your question: I had no time to, even if I wanted to; my wife and I screwed our brains out each and every chance we got, which amounted to almost every day (even after our kids were born) of our twelve year marriage, until her death a few years ago. She loved life and everyone else loved her; she constantly kept me running, because I knew if I stopped, I would loose her (she would tell me it was the other way around, but that is not true.)
That sounds like your problem; you stopped running.
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| MrTrueBlue |
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Posted: 10/20/2009 9:37 AM |
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Subject: Sleeping with guys right away - opinions? |
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WomanSaver MoFo
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| someody wrote: |
| MrTrueBlue wrote: |
so tell us...are you in that 60 percent? you a cheater and/or feel you are entitled to sleep with someone elses spouse? |
Are you one of those guys that once married, you dropped the romance and figured your wife was to join you in a boring routine the rest of your lives? I would bet yes; that is the main reason women have affairs outside of marriage. Your response, that you typed in your own words, tells me so; if you were a man, you would still be married to your now ex-wife.
The answer to your question: I had no time to, even if I wanted to; my wife and I screwed our brains out each and every chance we got, which amounted to almost every day (even after our kids were born) of our twelve year marriage, until her death a few years ago. She loved life and everyone else loved her; she constantly kept me running, because I knew if I stopped, I would loose her (she would tell me it was the other way around, but that is not true.)
That sounds like your problem; you stopped running. |
Nope, I‘m the one that kept trying to initiate affection. She was the one that dropped it. Nice try. So your bet missed its mark.
And my x-wife is now with a "man". abuses her, hits her....and she takes it. So if thats your def of a man....she now has one
So if your answer to my question is a true answer.....why are you here? I mean, if you are not a cheater, and haven‘t been cheated on......why are you here?
methinks you are a liar.
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| someody |
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Posted: 10/20/2009 7:50 PM |
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Subject: Sleeping with guys right away - opinions? |
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WomanSaver Lurker
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| MrTrueBlue wrote: |
| someody wrote: |
| MrTrueBlue wrote: |
so tell us...are you in that 60 percent? you a cheater and/or feel you are entitled to sleep with someone elses spouse? |
Are you one of those guys that once married, |
Nope, I‘m the one that kept trying to initiate affection. She was the one that dropped it. Nice try. So your bet missed its mark.
And my x-wife is now with a "man". abuses her, hits her....and she takes it. So if thats your def of a man....she now has one
So if your answer to my question is a true answer.....why are you here? I mean, if you are not a cheater, and haven‘t been cheated on......why are you here?
methinks you are a liar. |
“…initiate affection…?” Perhaps one of the ladies here will get into more detail for you. Do you not wonder why your ex-wife prefers to be with a person that “…abuses her, hits her…,” than you? I am pretty sure she does not want to be abused, etc.; I am also sure the guy does other things that make her feel alive.
Through many mouse clicks during research; the creator of this site is actually very popular. I come back, because I am sent an e-mail that says someone has responded to a comment I made; and I prefer not to be rude, so I answer.
Honestly, MrTrueBlue, this site was created for women, by a woman, and started (from my understanding) because of online dating problems that were experienced from the creator; this is not the place for you to let out your personal anger.
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| shally |
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Posted: 10/21/2009 6:32 AM |
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Subject: Sleeping with guys right away - opinions? |
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WomanSaver MoFo
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Tomcat brawl in aisle 12.
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| MrTrueBlue |
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Posted: 10/21/2009 11:50 AM |
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Subject: Sleeping with guys right away - opinions? |
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WomanSaver MoFo
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“…initiate affection…?” Perhaps one of the ladies here will get into more detail for you. Do you not wonder why your ex-wife prefers to be with a person that “…abuses her, hits her…,” than you?
She found out what he was really like AFTER she moved in with him.
I am pretty sure she does not want to be abused, etc.; I am also sure the guy does other things that make her feel alive.
well gee, of course. it was something new. You don‘t think I would have felt "alive" if I were to have gone out and had sex with another woman during my marriage? I‘m sure another woman would have made me feel like the man she didn‘t make me feel like.
But some people know what committment and marriage are about and some people can handle being with the same person for the rest of their life.
And she has already cheated on this other man....more than likely why he hit her I suppose. Don‘t know...don‘t care. She isn‘t my problem any longer.
so nice try with trying to make me feel like crap...you aren‘t that witty. But during your attempt at doing so...you basically are blaming me for being cheated on. Therefore you are blaming all the women on this site for being cheated on as well. Afterall, if the reason i was cheated on was because I didn‘t make my wife feel "alive"....then certainly that statement holds true for the women on this site?
so congratulations, you just slammed all the betrayed women on this site and blamed them, in your attempt to blame me, for being cheated on.
Whaddya think ladies....how do you feel knowing "somebody", a guy that thinks he is all that and a bag of chips, thinks its your fault you were cheated on?
Honestly, MrTrueBlue, this site was created for women, by a woman, and started (from my understanding) because of online dating problems that were experienced from the creator; this is not the place for you to let out your personal anger.
No kidding Captain Obvious? I did come here long ago because a couple of things in a google search i read posted here got my blood boiling. But as time went on, I realized there were great ladies here and none of them think like my X.......or you for that matter.
So again...why are YOU here?
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| someody |
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Posted: 10/21/2009 1:27 PM |
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Subject: Sleeping with guys right away - opinions? |
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WomanSaver Lurker
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There is no attempt from me, to making you feel like crap; you are doing that yourself, just like when you made a negative comment on someone’s poem in another topic, that you took personally.
It is not the same; men usually have affairs for different reasons than women. There is something that some males who call themselves “nice guys” do not get, and that is, what may appear to look like a man treating a woman like crap, is really flirting/having fun/teasing/etc.; many men that appear like “bad-boys,” are really some of the nicest people a person can meet (and visa-versa with “nice guys.”) I read recently about a motorcycle gang that rescues homeless animals, for example; these are all big dudes, with leather jackets, tattoos…the whole works.
Because I received an e-mail from this site, saying someone quoted my post, and I respond out of courtesy.
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| Funnysl |
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Posted: 10/21/2009 1:59 PM |
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Subject: Sleeping with guys right away - opinions? |
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WomanSaver MoFo
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sunshine and daisies
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| someody wrote: |
| sunny fl wrote: |
They are both SCUM in my book!!
The cheater and his or her screwing buddy!!! |
Considering the statistics I have read, about sixty percent of both married men and women participated in an affair, and many of them were with unmarried people; that is a lot of scum. |
Yes I would say there is a lot of scum out there!
Cheaters are the worst kind of scum.
If you aren‘t happy then get a divorce!
When you lower your values and standards to cheat with a married person or on your spouse (or both) you are scum!
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| Funnysl |
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Posted: 10/21/2009 2:09 PM |
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Subject: Sleeping with guys right away - opinions? |
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WomanSaver MoFo
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sunshine and daisies
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| someody wrote: |
| MrTrueBlue wrote: |
| someody wrote: |
| sunny fl wrote: |
They are both SCUM in my book!!
The cheater and his or her screwing buddy!!! |
Considering the statistics I have read, about sixty percent of both married men and women participated in an affair, and many of them were with unmarried people; that is a lot of scum. |
so tell us...are you in that 60 percent? you a cheater and/or feel you are entitled to sleep with someone elses spouse? |
Are you one of those guys that once married, you dropped the romance and figured your wife was to join you in a boring routine the rest of your lives? I would bet yes; that is the main reason women have affairs outside of marriage. Your response, that you typed in your own words, tells me so; if you were a man, you would still be married to your now ex-wife.
The answer to your question: I had no time to, even if I wanted to; my wife and I screwed our brains out each and every chance we got, which amounted to almost every day (even after our kids were born) of our twelve year marriage, until her death a few years ago. She loved life and everyone else loved her; she constantly kept me running, because I knew if I stopped, I would loose her (she would tell me it was the other way around, but that is not true.)
That sounds like your problem; you stopped running. |
I am sorry you lost your wife.
It takes 2 to make a marriage work, you should talk to your spouse if you feel that you are not getting the love or attention that you need. If you can‘t talk to them about it, then you aren‘t married to the right person.
I think it has nothing to do with your spouse, and everything to do with your morals. If you are married you don‘t cheat, period!!! If you want to be with somebody else, get a divorce. If you are single and know somebody is married, you should walk away after telling them that they are wrong for trying to cheat.
I would hate to be with somebody that I can‘t be myself with because I was always afraid of losing them. that is a sad life.
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| Funnysl |
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Posted: 10/21/2009 2:25 PM |
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Subject: Sleeping with guys right away - opinions? |
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WomanSaver MoFo
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sunshine and daisies
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| someody wrote: |
| MrTrueBlue wrote: |
| someody wrote: |
| MrTrueBlue wrote: |
so tell us...are you in that 60 percent? you a cheater and/or feel you are entitled to sleep with someone elses spouse? |
Are you one of those guys that once married, |
Nope, I‘m the one that kept trying to initiate affection. She was the one that dropped it. Nice try. So your bet missed its mark.
And my x-wife is now with a "man". abuses her, hits her....and she takes it. So if thats your def of a man....she now has one
So if your answer to my question is a true answer.....why are you here? I mean, if you are not a cheater, and haven‘t been cheated on......why are you here?
methinks you are a liar. |
“…initiate affection…?” Perhaps one of the ladies here will get into more detail for you. Do you not wonder why your ex-wife prefers to be with a person that “…abuses her, hits her…,” than you? I am pretty sure she does not want to be abused, etc.; I am also sure the guy does other things that make her feel alive.
Through many mouse clicks during research; the creator of this site is actually very popular. I come back, because I am sent an e-mail that says someone has responded to a comment I made; and I prefer not to be rude, so I answer.
Honestly, MrTrueBlue, this site was created for women, by a woman, and started (from my understanding) because of online dating problems that were experienced from the creator; this is not the place for you to let out your personal anger. |
Sorry Somebdy I think you are talking our your ass here.
First MTB is a wonderful man and has helped a lot of women here. LMWS site welcomes men.
Men get cheated on and abused too.
If MTB wife is happy being abused she needs help. I honestly think that she thought the grass was greener on the other side and found out that it wasn‘t.
There are many cheaters in the world, I sure am glad I was taught morals and values at a young age!
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| learning |
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Posted: 10/21/2009 4:16 PM |
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Subject: Sleeping with guys right away - opinions? |
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WomanSaver MoFo
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| shally wrote: | | Tomcat brawl in aisle 12. |
And it‘s a shame this thread deteriorated. It started out as a really nice "roundtable" discussion.
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| someody |
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Posted: 10/21/2009 6:59 PM |
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Subject: Sleeping with guys right away - opinions? |
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WomanSaver Lurker
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| sunny fl wrote: |
I am sorry you lost your wife.
It takes 2 to make a marriage work, you should talk to your spouse if you feel that you are not getting the love or attention that you need. If you can‘t talk to them about it, then you aren‘t married to the right person.
I think it has nothing to do with your spouse, and everything to do with your morals. If you are married you don‘t cheat, period!!! If you want to be with somebody else, get a divorce. If you are single and know somebody is married, you should walk away after telling them that they are wrong for trying to cheat.
I would hate to be with somebody that I can‘t be myself with because I was always afraid of losing them. that is a sad life. |
I believe many people get married for the wrong reasons, many too young, and some without experiencing enough to know what to expect; the increase in the last twenty plus years in women infidelity, is implicated on the increase in women in the workforce (opportunity + stress.) Because of today’s economy and the type of today’s job market, the job market has decreased the available jobs for men, and increased the available jobs for women; there is a roll reversal happening, and a curiosity is created about how this effects marriage in the future.
Personally, I believe there should always be some fear created by both spouses having opportunity somewhere else; it helps them stay awake to what they have, otherwise lopsided relationships can develop.
Please do not misunderstand and get fear and trust mixed up; I am, and was, always myself. It is just that what I see sometimes in some men, is that they turn eighty, right when they get married, and then wonder why their wife left them, or stopped wanting sex.
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| someody |
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Posted: 10/21/2009 7:15 PM |
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Subject: Sleeping with guys right away - opinions? |
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WomanSaver Lurker
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| sunny fl wrote: |
Sorry Somebdy I think you are talking our your ass here.
First MTB is a wonderful man and has helped a lot of women here. LMWS site welcomes men.
Men get cheated on and abused too.
If MTB wife is happy being abused she needs help. I honestly think that she thought the grass was greener on the other side and found out that it wasn‘t.
There are many cheaters in the world, I sure am glad I was taught morals and values at a young age! |
I have not seen any sign of his ex-wife here to defend herself, so many things said on his part are hearsay; I would love to hear what she has to say.
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| someody |
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Posted: 10/21/2009 7:36 PM |
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Subject: Sleeping with guys right away - opinions? |
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| learning wrote: |
| shally wrote: |
| Tomcat brawl in aisle 12. |
And it‘s a shame this thread deteriorated. It started out as a really nice "roundtable" discussion. |
Please except my apologies, and understand this is how/where it started; I give statistical information, and in response, I get insults to my character.
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ME: Considering the statistics I have read, about sixty percent of both married men and women participated in an affair, and many of them were with unmarried people; that is a lot of scum. |
MrTrueBlue
: “so tell us...are you in that 60 percent? you a cheater and/or feel you are entitled to sleep with someone else’s spouse?”
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| Kahlan |
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Posted: 10/22/2009 6:44 AM |
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Subject: Sleeping with guys right away - opinions? |
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My two cents to bring the topic back to the thread... 
Deciding what time is right to sleep with a man largely depends on what kind of intimacy and connection you built up with that person. And it doesn‘t always depend on the relationship timeline - meaning, the relationship is just part of the flow of events, not a starting marker, or a ticking clock.
It‘s my strong personal belief that time is subjective, and there shouldn‘t be any sort of conscious effort in either initializing sex, or holding back. When the time comes, as part of a healthy interaction with another healthy human being, you‘ll both jump in the sack and enjoy a nice good romp ;)
Also: a good bond should breed good sex, not the other way round...
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| learning |
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Posted: 10/22/2009 7:19 AM |
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Subject: Sleeping with guys right away - opinions? |
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WomanSaver MoFo
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Someody, thank you, but no apologies necessary.
 
ETA: I agree with Kahlan. Well said.
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