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| Yasumi |
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Posted: 8/24/2008 10:09 AM |
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Subject: Opinions needed |
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New WomanSaver
Female Member
Age: 24
Total Posts: 5
st. johns
Canada
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Me and my boyfriend have recently hit a rut. Out of the whole month he might have made a move for sex like twice and we probably have had sex maybe 6 times (this month).
Usually I‘d make moves more often but i have come to a place where i feel un-needed and this is why.
The moment I am out of the house he watches porn. He wouldn‘t make a move for sex all day but the first thing he does when i am gone is porn. Now i like porn i watch it myself but not like this. There have been times I have been sleeping and he‘s watched porn. It could be a week without sex and instead of making a move for me in the next room porn i guess is more convinent, or at least that how i feel.
I just feel that if he wants releif so bad why couldn‘t he have come to me when I was there.
We talked about it once and I told him I don‘t care if I am sleeping I‘d love to wake up to him ‘ripping‘ off my clothes or something like it. I have made it very clear I have no problems with time or place. I am a very open person sexually, I love sex and I am sure I have beaten that into his head, but I am confused why porn over me.
I can understand if I am gone to work or out with friends but after sitting next to him for half the day and then going to bed lonely, or leaving to go to the grocery store and finding out he had fun on his own the moment I was gone makes me frustrating, upset and angry.
Help!
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| supermom21664 |
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Posted: 8/24/2008 10:16 AM |
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Subject: Opinions needed |
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WomanSaver MoFo
Female Member
Age: 44
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Total Posts: 989
Lumberton
Texas
United States
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Have you asked HIM why he feels the need to watch so much porn? Maybe there is a problem that he feels that he can discuss with you.
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| Yasumi |
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Posted: 8/24/2008 10:52 AM |
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Subject: Opinions needed |
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New WomanSaver
Female Member
Age: 24
Total Posts: 5
st. johns
Canada
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he don‘t think that much porn is a big deal. He says it just there, so basically its convienent. He says he is sorry I feel hurt but he‘s afraid of making a move cause he don‘t think he has the right to.
(he cheated on my once a while back. I have no reason to believe he is cheating now and I thought we were past it.)
I assured him it was ok. I wasn‘t going to turn him down and that i love his touch. That was more then a month ago we had that chat and things haven‘t changed.
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| Momof4 |
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Posted: 8/26/2008 8:35 AM |
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Subject: Opinions needed |
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WomanSaver MoFo
Female Member
Age: 0
Total Posts: 3526
shiiteing in the sand in
Iraq
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| Yasumi wrote: |
he don‘t think that much porn is a big deal. He says it just there, so basically its convienent. He says he is sorry I feel hurt but he‘s afraid of making a move cause he don‘t think he has the right to.
(he cheated on my once a while back. I have no reason to believe he is cheating now and I thought we were past it.)
I assured him it was ok. I wasn‘t going to turn him down and that i love his touch. That was more then a month ago we had that chat and things haven‘t changed.
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Well, if he‘s picking porn over you-he is cheating in a way. Porn is good if it enhances your sex life, not replaces it.
Porn addiction is a hard habit to kick. good luck!!
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| yasmina |
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Posted: 8/26/2008 4:29 PM |
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Subject: Opinions needed |
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WomanSaver MoFo
Female Member
Age: 33
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Total Posts: 1162
Copenhagen
Denmark
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Hi, Yasumi.
To me, it seems like you two might not be past what ever caused him cheating on you.
I think that both his porn-watching and cheating cant "just" be chalked up to be about sex. There is something wrong in your relationship. Sorry to say this, but if he doesnt want to have sex with you....then he doesnt want you. Period.
Telling you that he suddenly has become afraid of being turned down is both a comfortable excuse and an indirect way of shifting responsibility back on you.
So, I dont think this has much to do with sex at all. Even if you got him to take the initiative a bit more, I dont think that change would last very long. I think this has to do with his interest in you as a person. Its in the word "attraction": he wouldnt pull away from you and go see porn if he was truly attracted to you, physically and emotionally?
I would nail him to the wall and serve him some hard questions-not about sex, but about how he feels about you.
You might not like the answers, but then you get a fair chance to decide if you need to leave or stay.
Best of luck,
Yasmina
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| Tiredmomma |
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Posted: 8/26/2008 5:48 PM |
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Subject: Opinions needed |
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WomanSaver MoFo
Female Member
Age: 38
Total Posts: 1922
Right over here
Texas
United States
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I agree with Yas, she is a wise gal!
It‘s not just about sex. Though it might be a beginning of an addiction on his behalf.
TM
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