Flashcoms

You need to upgrade your Flash Player.

Version 8 or higher is required.

download from http://www.adobe.com/go/getflashplayer
  top_bannr_rgt


cheating men



    WomanSavers.com Forum / GENERAL / I should be smarter than this!

To BLOCK viewing a member's posts, click here.
You must be logged into the site for the BLOCK feature to function!

Message Board Rules
   PAGE: 1    
AUTHOR MESSAGE
lolazee
  Posted: 6/13/2008 3:05 PM Subject: I should be smarter than this!
New WomanSaver
Female Member
Age: 35




Total Posts: 4
Helendale
California
United States
offline
Invite To Chat Room

Send Note


Reading through the posts I am relieved to know that I am not alone.  Unfortunately that doesn‘t make the hurt go away.  I‘ve only been dating Jason for a little over 2 months.  He was sweet and loving, ambitious about our future and very affectionate.  His financial shortcomings were only temporary, he assured me.  He was texting work, he swore.  He hated cheaters, he attested.  Well last night he broke up with me when I confronted him about the lies I‘ve caught him in and the girls he‘s cheated with.  I should be glad.  I know he‘s not the guy I felt so strongly about.  That guy didn‘t exist.  It was an act to get money and a place to stay while he pursued other women.  I feel so foolish.  His friends and his ex-wife have all told me what an ass he is.  He is estranged from all of his relatives and all of his friends because he can‘t be trusted.  The only good thing that has come about is that his ex and his friends are now my friends.  They are pretty cool people and I‘d have never known them if it weren‘t for the little jerk who took me for a ride. 

Here‘s where I need some guidance.  I need a roommate to maintain my 3 bedroom home.  I live in a pretty remote area so roommates are a little difficult to come by.  He is in the spare bedroom and would like to continue to live with me as roommates.  Financially it is my best option.  Emotionally I don‘t want to see his smug little face and hear him on the phone telling other girls the same lies he told me.  His son is 3 and visits us 1 weekend a month.  Jason is NOT good at supervision or interaction with his son and I enjoy my time with the lttle guy. Jason has no where to go, an eviction and no money for a deposit. Kicking him out would feel GREAT but I think it might be a mistake in the long run.  Help? 



tula1969
  Posted: 6/13/2008 3:38 PM Subject: I should be smarter than this!
WomanSaver MoFo
Female Member
Age: 39




Total Posts: 1432
Under an UMBRELLA, England
Great Britain
offline
Invite To Chat Room

Send Note


You‘ve only been dating a little over 2 months??

Why not let him stay to help you financially??

You can choose how much or how little involvement you have with his son. You say his son is 3, you say his parenting isnt all that?? Chances are he‘s been that way since the little lad was born. Dont try and rescue him or fix, you‘ll end up loosing yourself in a no win situation. Focus just on you. Obviously any serious child care concerns you‘d need to report to appropriate others.

As for hearing him spin the same BS to other girls, try not to listen and if you can‘t help but hear, REMIND yourself how glad you are thats its not you he‘s spinning those yarns to. Someone else is being fed his BS.

Two months isnt long, find someone worthy of you.

T

 

 



lolazee
  Posted: 6/13/2008 4:07 PM Subject: I should be smarter than this!
New WomanSaver
Female Member
Age: 35




Total Posts: 4
Helendale
California
United States
offline
Invite To Chat Room

Send Note


Yes, his ex tells me that he has NEVER been interested in the parenting thing.  Ironic since he started courting me by asking if we could have a baby together.  THANK GOD I wasn‘t dumb enough to fall for that.  He hides everything and won‘t divulge a single piece of information about anything.  It‘s sad but I don‘t trust him alone with his son.  He would never hurt him, but just not paying attention could be devastating.

I‘m going to try and change my mindset about him and I.  If I can come to terms with the fact that the person I want was never real, I think I can live in the same house as him.  We do have a rule though.  He is NOT to bring any women to my house until he buys his own bed (he is using my spare bed right now).

 

For any girls out there who are emailing or texting this great guy in California, be warned that Jason Vetack is a liar and a thief.  His parents won‘t talk to him anymore, most of his friends don‘t trust him and BNSF Railroad (his employer) has written him up over 17 times for attendance.  He is not to be trusted by anyone for any reason. 



Aprylshowers
  Posted: 6/13/2008 5:34 PM Subject: I should be smarter than this!
WomanSaver Lurker
Female Member
Age: 34




Total Posts: 21
Greensboro
North Carolina
United States
offline
Invite To Chat Room

Send Note


I understand that you need him to help you financially, but I would start shopping around for a new roommate.  Also move on and get back in the dating game.  This will help you get your mind off of him.  Focus on you!  Also don‘t let him use you as a baby sitter...make him Man-up and take care of his own responsibilities.

Busty Superior
  Posted: 6/13/2008 6:21 PM Subject: I should be smarter than this!
WomanSaver MoFo
Female Member
Age: 81




Total Posts: 2361
Near Death
Djibouti
offline
Invite To Chat Room

Send Note


What ever you do, if you do let him stay on as a roomie........Draw up paperwork and have him sign it!  He is a tenant!  Cover your butt if you know what I mean.  It is soo hard to evict someone!!  AND get a damage deposit!!

 



SoSick
  Posted: 6/14/2008 12:40 AM Subject: I should be smarter than this!
WomanSaver Lurker
Male Member
Age: 35




Total Posts: 31
Dallas
Texas
United States
offline
Invite To Chat Room

Send Note


Find replacement room-mates ASAP... You need to get him out of your home. Otherwise, when he is ALLOWED to bring women over, you may have issues with wanting to WARN them ... then if you do, it‘ll be either a fight between you and Jason or he‘ll warn the girls "Shes my EX-GF, she‘s a bit nuts and may some some crap about me. But you see- she secretly loves me so much that she can‘t stand me not living in her home. Once I make a bit more money, I can‘t wait to MOVE OUT!"

Hmmm.. I just came up with that stuff... but thats the position you‘re putting yourself through. An EX left town with a Wimp is like that... I have no idea what kind of crap he‘s told her - but herrealityis way-off.When I warnher about the Wimp (as wellashis ex-friends, womenhes dated, my own experince) She comes back with "He says that they are disgrunted anddon‘t know what they‘re talking about and you‘re jealous".

Liars like that are manipulators... You won‘t know what is truth or a lie from them. And if you‘re friends with his EX-wife, then you‘ll have the ability to see the boy anytime.

Good luck.



lolazee
  Posted: 6/14/2008 5:46 PM Subject: I should be smarter than this!
New WomanSaver
Female Member
Age: 35




Total Posts: 4
Helendale
California
United States
offline
Invite To Chat Room

Send Note


Thank you for all of the sage advice!

My friend is faxing me a copy of the month to month rental agreement his landlady uses.  She‘s evicted 3 people with it and it has NO loopholes.  Jason will be signing that tomorrow. 

I am looking for other roommates.  I have a 3rd bedroom for rent so even if I can‘t replace him, an extra person in the house may help mitigate anymore of his crap.

I won‘t be babysitting his son, but his ex-wife feels more comfortable if there is another adult present when he has his son.  I don‘t mind doing that.   He‘s a great kid and I would feel awful if something happened to him because Jason was being unattentive.

As far as dating, I signed up on a couple of on-line sites, but I am being VERY cautious and moving slow.  I do NOT want to go through anything like the last couple of months again.  I need something to occupy my mind so I can quit replaying everything, trying to figure out what I could have done different.  That‘s just stupid.  He screwed up, not me.

His dates are his concern.  I found out about him by asking his friends and the people who know him.  If he dates girls that don‘t ask, that is their problem.  If I try to warn them, its like you said, I‘ll look jealous and bitchy.  The signs are everywhere, I just hope it doesn‘t take them too long to read them.  I won‘t say anythng about him to them.

 

Thanks again for all the help.  Your clear heads and hearts have helped me avoid more potential pitfalls.  Please post anything else you think might help.  I truly appreciate it!



lolazee
  Posted: 6/15/2008 5:05 PM Subject: I should be smarter than this!
New WomanSaver
Female Member
Age: 35




Total Posts: 4
Helendale
California
United States
offline
Invite To Chat Room

Send Note


UPDATE!  He refused to meet with me to make up any roommate guidelines or sign paperwork.  He got up early and dressed his best and when his son called he told him he had to work so wouldn‘t be seeing him for Father‘s Day.  Then as he was leaving I asked to do the paperwork.  He said he was going to "church".  He has NEVER gone to church or expressed an interest in it during the time I have known him.  5 hours later I hadn‘t heard from him so I texted and told him the "church" can take him in.  He can get his crap out of my house tonite (1 am is when he gets off work...if he really went).  I am off until Friday, so I am NOT leaving my house until he is gone and I have all my keys back.  Bastard.

TALUTAH
  Posted: 6/16/2008 6:44 AM Subject: I should be smarter than this!
WomanSaver Addict
Female Member
Age: 5




Total Posts: 263
seaside bay
Montana
United States
offline
Invite To Chat Room

Send Note


lolazee wrote:
UPDATE!  He refused to meet with me to make up any roommate guidelines or sign paperwork.  He got up early and dressed his best and when his son called he told him he had to work so wouldnt be seeing him for Fathers Day.  Then as he was leaving I asked to do the paperwork.  He said he was going to "church".  He has NEVER gone to church or expressed an interest in it during the time I have known him.  5 hours later I hadnt heard from him so I texted and told him the "church" can take him in.  He can get his crap out of my house tonite (1 am is when he gets off work...if he really went).  I am off until Friday, so I am NOT leaving my house until he is gone and I have all my keys back.  Bastard.


Hi,

You will never be sure if you have all the keys back.

Take no chances,CHANGE THE LOCKS !!

Keep all the new keys in your pocket.

Do not leave them on the counter or even in your purse,until he has all his things and is out of your home completely.

A word to the wise is sufficient.

T.


Busty Superior
  Posted: 6/16/2008 6:49 AM Subject: I should be smarter than this!
WomanSaver MoFo
Female Member
Age: 81




Total Posts: 2361
Near Death
Djibouti
offline
Invite To Chat Room

Send Note


Put all his stuff in trash bags and leave it outside.  Change the locks!  What a piss poor excuse of a Dad!

You are soo better off without with this loser!



unknown31
  Posted: 1/2/2012 1:47 PM Subject: I should be smarter than this!
New WomanSaver
Male Member
Age: 28




Total Posts: 2
Seattle
Washington
United States
offline
Invite To Chat Room

Send Note


WOW! You have all done such an great job at story telling, I‘‘m impressed. I‘‘m not here to bash on any of my ex‘‘s although I could if I really wanted too but I‘‘m better than that. Rather I am here to clarify the important matters here and tell MY side of the story. To the person who wrote the second to the last comment my DOB is 9/3/1983 and that makes me 28, does that help? And the person that wrote the last comment, the proper spelling is psychopath and I suggest you look up the definition first before you use the word. To the outsiders making comments, first off you dont know my ex‘‘s, you dont know me and you dont know the other half of the situations so how can you sit there and agree with that? I hope none of you get picked to sit on a jury someday. Now, I will be the first to admit I am not repeat NOT the greatest dad in the world nor do I claim to be and have made my share of mistakes in the past. I‘‘m sorry I cant be as perfect as all of you. Im sure you have some skeletons of your own in your closet you dont dare to share. Yes, I did cheat on my first wife which to this day I still cant seem to move past all the hurt I have caused her and my son, but thats for me to deal with. So I start with Lori, the mastermind behind all of this. She has a degree in Psychology which she used quite well to manipulate my words and situations into what she wanted them to mean. At that time I was working for the railroad which we know runs 24/7 365 and had the lowest seniority, so yes I did miss Fathers Day, Christmas, birthdays, New Years, Thanksgiving and every other major holiday known. She only became friends with my friends becasue she STOLE them from my myspace page. As for going to church, what does it matter if I wanted to start going to church? I didnt know I was obligated to inform her of everything I decide to do. I never clamed to be a veteran of any armed forces EVER! I did belong to the Coast Guard Auxiliary which is a civillian branch of the Coast Guard look it up. I was learning to fly small planes when I was 15 and was in fact a firefighter and have all documentation to back it up, so contact me if you want to see it. After about 10 months after Lori and I split she contacted my g/f at the time and told her she was pregnant with my baby which is a LIE! Who does that? Moving on to my second wife Val, It was doomed from the beginning becasue she admtied to me after our divorce that she still had feelings for her fathers son whom she always watnted a relationship with be he didnt. She was verbally abusive to me and physically threatened me as well. There was no way to ever please her and everything was about money. She didnt mention that I withdrew 2000 dollars from my 401k to save her parents house from foreclosure did she? Did i ask for a penny back, nope. In the divorce she asked for child support and spousal support! Spousal support? For what, we were married 6 months not to mention she works, bought a new truck, has a new apartment, a boyfriend who pays for eveything, a home business and still found the time to take a vactaion to Hawaii. Dont believe me, I have the emails to back that up too. When it comes to Val and her son, I did more for him than I ever did for my son and I have so much guilt now becasue I didnt stand up for myself and just go anyways, and why you ask? Becasue whenever I wanted to see my son she told me no because get this she believed that my first ex wife wanted me back which was complete BS she is happily in a relationship, so I didnt see him as much as I wanted too. They are just as capable as lying and leaving things out to make me look bad. I think I have addressed most of the major issues here, if not I will post again. Frankly, for almost 5 years now I have sat by and watched this site and said nothing, but its got to end. Again I admit I have made my share of mistakes and I apologize to eveyone I may have hurt I just want to move forward with my life. This wont end on my part as long as people contine to post. I will keep defending the lies and admit any truths as I already have. If you still dont trust me, Ill agree to a polygraph test and back up everything I have just said. All I ask from anyone new reading this is just take a step back and take the time to get all the facts first.


supermom21664
  Posted: 1/4/2012 4:26 PM Subject: I should be smarter than this!
WomanSaver MoFo
Female Member
Age: 46




Total Posts: 1531
BFE
Texas
United States
offline
Invite To Chat Room

Send Note


unknown31 wrote:
WOW! You have all done such an great job at story telling, Im impressed. Im not here to bash on any of my exs although I could if I really wanted too but Im better than that. Rather I am here to clarify the important matters here and tell MY side of the story. To the person who wrote the second to the last comment my DOB is 9/3/1983 and that makes me 28, does that help? And the person that wrote the last comment, the proper spelling is psychopath and I suggest you look up the definition first before you use the word. To the outsiders making comments, first off you dont know my exs, you dont know me and you dont know the other half of the situations so how can you sit there and agree with that? I hope none of you get picked to sit on a jury someday. Now, I will be the first to admit I am not repeat NOT the greatest dad in the world nor do I claim to be and have made my share of mistakes in the past. Im sorry I cant be as perfect as all of you. Im sure you have some skeletons of your own in your closet you dont dare to share. Yes, I did cheat on my first wife which to this day I still cant seem to move past all the hurt I have caused her and my son, but thats for me to deal with. So I start with Lori, the mastermind behind all of this. She has a degree in Psychology which she used quite well to manipulate my words and situations into what she wanted them to mean. At that time I was working for the railroad which we know runs 24/7 365 and had the lowest seniority, so yes I did miss Fathers Day, Christmas, birthdays, New Years, Thanksgiving and every other major holiday known. She only became friends with my friends becasue she STOLE them from my myspace page. As for going to church, what does it matter if I wanted to start going to church? I didnt know I was obligated to inform her of everything I decide to do. I never clamed to be a veteran of any armed forces EVER! I did belong to the Coast Guard Auxiliary which is a civillian branch of the Coast Guard look it up. I was learning to fly small planes when I was 15 and was in fact a firefighter and have all documentation to back it up, so contact me if you want to see it. After about 10 months after Lori and I split she contacted my g/f at the time and told her she was pregnant with my baby which is a LIE! Who does that? Moving on to my second wife Val, It was doomed from the beginning becasue she admtied to me after our divorce that she still had feelings for her fathers son whom she always watnted a relationship with be he didnt. She was verbally abusive to me and physically threatened me as well. There was no way to ever please her and everything was about money. She didnt mention that I withdrew 2000 dollars from my 401k to save her parents house from foreclosure did she? Did i ask for a penny back, nope. In the divorce she asked for child support and spousal support! Spousal support? For what, we were married 6 months not to mention she works, bought a new truck, has a new apartment, a boyfriend who pays for eveything, a home business and still found the time to take a vactaion to Hawaii. Dont believe me, I have the emails to back that up too. When it comes to Val and her son, I did more for him than I ever did for my son and I have so much guilt now becasue I didnt stand up for myself and just go anyways, and why you ask? Becasue whenever I wanted to see my son she told me no because get this she believed that my first ex wife wanted me back which was complete BS she is happily in a relationship, so I didnt see him as much as I wanted too. They are just as capable as lying and leaving things out to make me look bad. I think I have addressed most of the major issues here, if not I will post again. Frankly, for almost 5 years now I have sat by and watched this site and said nothing, but its got to end. Again I admit I have made my share of mistakes and I apologize to eveyone I may have hurt I just want to move forward with my life. This wont end on my part as long as people contine to post. I will keep defending the lies and admit any truths as I already have. If you still dont trust me, Ill agree to a polygraph test and back up everything I have just said. All I ask from anyone new reading this is just take a step back and take the time to get all the facts first.


Psst, I think it is a little late to attempt to set the record straight. Just sayin ya know.


Osiris Risen
  Posted: 1/7/2012 2:09 PM Subject: I should be smarter than this!
WomanSaver Addict
Female Member
Age: 0




Total Posts: 168
In Hiding
United Kingdom
offline
Invite To Chat Room

Send Note


I think that a lot of women view relationships as a form of excitement.   Being in a relationship is like being ‘onstage‘, in the limelight, you are the focus of another‘s attention.  Unfortunately many men think that being in a relationship allows them to be ‘offstage‘ and away from the limelight.
Women seem to want dynamism and excitement and yes a soupon of danger.  They want to be whisked off to the ballet, the theatre, the casino, the nightclub and the expensive restaurant.  They want their men to talk and talk and talk like another woman would do.  Only he isn‘t a woman so he simply doesn‘t feel the need to talk endlessly.    Men on the other hand want peace and quiet and ‘downtime‘, where they can sit at home put their feet up and watch teh game on television.

What confuses women is that for most men there is a certain amount of excitement in a new relationship, however this excitement very often dies down for a man long before it does for a woman, which leads to no end of misunderstandings.  The most obvious one of these misunderstandings is ‘he only wanted me for sex‘


   PAGE: 1    



Articles
Abusive Husbands | Abusive Men Signs | Adultery and Alcoholism | Adultery Prone Men | Adultery Statistics | Avoiding Dangerous Men
Break Up Advice | Cheater Websites | Cheating Boyfriends | Cheating Husbands | Cheating Infidelity Statistics |Cheating Man Signs
Cheating Recovery | Cheating Spouse | Dangerous Man | Dangerous Relationships | Dating Expert | Emotional Infidelity | Extramarital Affair
Find Safe Love | How to Get a Date | Infidelity | Infidelity Expert | Infidelity Proof | Infidelity Recovery | Internet Relationships | Make Violence Stop
Men Cheaters |Online Dating Expert | Politicians Who Cheat | Relationship Expert | Relationship Grief | Relationship Red Flags
Relationship Selection | Rushing Relationships | Safe Online Dating | Sexual Addiction | Sexual Abuse | Sociopath Narcissist | Spot Abusive Men
Stalking In Relationships | Surviving Adultery | Surviving Infidelity | Understanding Men | Unfaithful Men Fantasy
Unfaithful Men | Why Guys Cheat | Why Men Cheat | Why Men Have Affairs

Website Links
Abusive Men | Articles for Women | Catch a Cheater | Cheating Statistics | Comedy for Womedy: Cartoon
Comedy for Women: Text | FAQ | Funny E-cards | Funny Quotes | Funny Videos
| Infidelity Expert | Infidelity Polls | Infidelity Stories
Infidelity Testimonials | Forum for Women | Online Dating Infidelity Book | Privacy | Rate-A-Guy | Relationship Articles | Relationship Astrology Relationship Expert Bio | Relationship Polls | Relationship Quizzes | Support For Women | Terms of Use | Why Women Cheat Womens Advertising | Womens Award | WomanSavers Blog | Womens Charities | Womens Chat | Womens Games | Womens Links Womens Network | Womens Newsletters | Womens Photo Album | Womens Poems | Womens Publicity | Womens Radio | Womens Recipes Womens Shopping | Womens Webring | Women Who Changed History


The comments on this site are property of their posters
Copyright (c) 2002 - 2014 - Womansavers.com - All Rights Reserved - Patent Pending