WomanSavers.com Forum / GENERAL / What to think?

Ok...it‘s happened again.  I thought the new woman in his life had stopped harassing me in big and little ways.  However, she pulled a good one today. 

She made her myspace open and I looked at it just for the heck of it  ..of course she put their wedding picture on the front.  Which was just sickening.  And it was filled w/ pictures of her and him that were obviously cut out of group photos at work so that it made them look like they were together somewhere - which actually made me laugh....pretty hard. I did notice that he is looking paler and more worried than he ever did w/ me ..LOL 

Anyway, at first I was mad - now I think its kind of funny just not sure what to feel.  She had stopped all her antics like the calling and emails for a while.. but I had a feeling she wasn‘t done.  And I was right.  I‘m wondering though...any thoughts on this?  What could she possibly be trying to get out of this?  I do not respond in any way and don‘t plan to.  she has what she wants...why attack me?  Isn‘t the fact that their little affair screwed over her husband and me enough for them?  I am wondering though at times how long I‘m to sit and take this and say and do nothing.  Because its not working on her.  She wants me to react.  I have not.  When do I say I‘ve had enough - or should I?  Oh and interesting to note...he has not done anything..toward me..so I‘m guessing its all driven by him in the background or he is clueless.  Which I doubt.  But I applaud him on getting her to fight his battles and deflect the blame to her - pretty smart..oh well just venting...

Later...

Hi, Lola.  All I can surmise is that this woman really has some mental issues.  Keep doing what you‘re doing (or should I say not doing).   As for him, well, he actually married her, which leads me to believe that he is more mentally damaged than even you realize.  You deserve better than that!  And you will get it!

Love and hugs!

lola they both been married so many times they think of it as a game. The new will wear off and there will be another divorce for them. Your way better off then them. They both are wierdos and we don‘t hang with wierdos. LOL

lola....you already did react. you reacted with us. to give her a reaction is to put a smile on her face.

You can smile cuz he lost the best thing he had in his life....you! there is no reason to do anything and i probably would just not even go to the site again

Extinguish her!  It‘s what I did with the ex when she wouldn‘t let go, and it worked.

When applying this technique you should expect an escalation of negative behavior of the actor (her) to elicit a response from the target (you). Any response from the target is a reward to the actor. It’s like air to a fire. Our natural instincts are to pour water on a fire (react), but, take away the air (extinguish) and the fire dies a natural death of starvation.

If this does nothing else it drives them crazy(er)!

Shel   thats what we are here for,  she needs to react to us  so that we can help her feel better,  so she can vent without doing something stupid.  That tramp doenst know she is here with us!

Lola   I love the new comment on your myspace page,  yes i had the same one up 2 days ago,  and for the same reason. 

Wow how hard it must be for her to be married to a loser that is still in love with somebody else.  What type of marriage make it when it begins   with cheating, lies, and insecurity!!

We need to sent the tramp a thank you card.

Thanks for getting the loser out of my life!!!

Hey Lola, I am sorry to hear that you are still bothered by this.  I can only imagine how it must hurt.   With that said, do yourself a favor and stop thinking about it.  Let it go!  Don‘t look at her Myspace, don‘t try to read about him or her.  Ignore them.  You have got to move on.  Go shopping, go for a walk, go to a museum, buy a golf club and go hit golf balls, (you may meet some hot guy there) do anything but thinking about these two people who have hurt you so much.  To let it go is easier said than done, but it is something you must do for yourself or you will never get on with life.

Lola,

it may not feel like it right about now for you, but you are in control of this situation by NOT reacting in any shape or form. Nothing better to PISS someone off bigtime when they dont get the reaction they are hoping for by pulling their warped, sick shots at am attempt to hurt others.

She wont have given up yet, still be hoping to get your back up, hurt you even and get some kind of retaliation, I‘d bet she‘s hoping for a negative, angry, hurt one.

You go girl, as time goes by and she gets to realise you aint buying into her BS, have shown no reaction at all, she‘ll feel like a right PRAT. And so she should. It‘ll peeve her more in the long run and be a bitter pill for her to swallow that you showed nothing but a complete lack of interest in the sad old pair of them. He looks pale and thinner, good is what I say. I‘d also bet some of her bitterness and anger at you eventually for your not responding, may well even get taken out on him sideways. Oh woe him, NOT and Vistory all round for you.

Vent here, react if you need to but here with us. Never give those saddoe‘s any kind of satisfaction what so ever.

Cyber hug on route

T

Thanks for all the kind words and replies..I still don‘t intend on reacting - at least outwardly.  Maybe in my own mind.lol.  It would be exactly what she wants. 

But for the life of me I still cannot find a reason as to why attacking me is so important to her.  She got what she wanted...so take it and run before he looks up and sees something shiny and new again.  For God‘s sake woman.

Oh I forgot she‘s special - just like the other 2 wives and her other 3 husbands.  LOL.  Sorry got on a roll. 

Anyway, Don thanks for the words of advice and I am very busy..work is a mad house, I have a few friends that have some serious things they are going through and stuff like that. I am doing things.  The hard part comes when they live down the road a bit from me on a main street that you have to go down to get about anywhere in town.  So, thus I have to see it every day.  And frankly,before you tell me to go a different way, I refuse to alter my life that I‘ve carried out the 10 yrs I‘ve lived here to ease the guilt of any man or woman.  Didn‘t mean to be harsh, but its true.

Anyway, thanks for the reassurance....you all are wonderful ladies...

ITs her own jealousy and insecurity!!!
You are beautiful inside and out  and she knows it!!
She is a tramp and she knows it!!
Thats why she does these things.  You dont give her the time of day and it drives her crazy!!
Keep your chin up!!!

Well said, AMEN!