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| lalapalooza |
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Posted: 5/12/2008 2:42 PM |
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Subject: Revenge |
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New WomanSaver
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Age: 31




Total Posts: 5
Otisville United States
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So, I‘ll cut to the chase. My husband cheated on me a little over a year ago now. He has done much to repent... but I still am resentful/hurt. I‘ve been contemplating cheating on him to give him a dose of his own medicine. Has anyone done this? If so, how did it turn out? What do you all think about revenge cheating? Good idea? Bad idea? All thoughts on the subject are welcome.
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| shally |
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Posted: 5/12/2008 2:45 PM |
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Subject: Revenge |
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WomanSaver MoFo
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sittin' pretty on Isle of Man
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Don‘t use your body as some old wh*re would. You are worth so much more. If you are angry enough to lie with another man, to give something so sacred, I‘d seek counseling.
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| Momof4Crabs |
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Posted: 5/12/2008 2:49 PM |
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Subject: Revenge |
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WomanSaver MoFo
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We be Jammin in Jamaica
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REALLY bad idea. You will be cheapening yourself and your marriage. If you are trying to work it out with your husband, work it out, don‘t start revenge cheating as a way of making yourself feel better-it won‘t work. It will make you feel like a whore.
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| lalapalooza |
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Posted: 5/12/2008 2:56 PM |
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Subject: Revenge |
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New WomanSaver
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Otisville United States
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To clarify, I‘m not talking about cheating on him with a man who is also married (that, I feel, would make me a whore). I‘m talking about a one-night-stand after meeting at a bar type of thing. We are in counseling... I still want to rub that pain and torment in his face. Of course, you all are right, I don‘t want to be an old w*ore, but on the other hand I feel like we will be even if I did this.
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| meandnotyou |
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Posted: 5/12/2008 3:05 PM |
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Subject: Revenge |
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WomanSaver MoFo
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Age: 44
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Montreal Canada
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| lalapalooza wrote: | | To clarify, I‘m not talking about cheating on him with a man who is also married (that, I feel, would make me a whore). I‘m talking about a one-night-stand after meeting at a bar type of thing. We are in counseling... I still want to rub that pain and torment in his face. Of course, you all are right, I don‘t want to be an old w*ore, but on the other hand I feel like we will be even if I did this. |
If getting "even" is your goal, keep your mouth shut, divert his funds, and divorce.
In the meantime, here‘s an Aspirin. Hold it tightly between your knees, and don‘t bend over.

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| shally |
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Posted: 5/12/2008 3:07 PM |
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Subject: Revenge |
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WomanSaver MoFo
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sittin' pretty on Isle of Man
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What is your story? Do you mind telling it? Believe me, we ALL know the hurt, pain and anger you are feeling. We have been there or are there.
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| Momof4Crabs |
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Posted: 5/12/2008 3:08 PM |
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Subject: Revenge |
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WomanSaver MoFo
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We be Jammin in Jamaica
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| lalapalooza wrote: | |
To clarify, I‘m not talking about cheating on him with a man who is also married (that, I feel, would make me a whore). I‘m talking about a one-night-stand after meeting at a bar type of thing. We are in counseling... I still want to rub that pain and torment in his face. Of course, you all are right, I don‘t want to be an old w*ore, but on the other hand I feel like we will be even if I did this.
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You will not be equal. It will not equal things out, and why would you want to cause anyone that kind of pain? Do you love your husband? It‘s not my marriage, but, since you asked, I will tell you-your next move after the std tests will be divorce court. Me? I wouldn‘t use my body that way, and I certainly wouldn‘t be having a one night stand.
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| supermom21664 |
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Posted: 5/12/2008 3:27 PM |
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Subject: Revenge |
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WomanSaver MoFo
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Lumberton Texas United States
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This is an extremely bad idea. The best revenge is to live your life to the fullest. Do not stoop to his level. Oh and two wrongs never make a right.
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| TALUTAH |
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Posted: 5/12/2008 3:32 PM |
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Subject: Revenge |
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WomanSaver Addict
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seaside bay Montana United States
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| lalapalooza wrote: | |
To clarify, I‘m not talking about cheating on him with a man who is also married (that, I feel, would make me a whore). I‘m talking about a one-night-stand after meeting at a bar type of thing. We are in counseling... I still want to rub that pain and torment in his face. Of course, you all are right, I don‘t want to be an old w*ore, but on the other hand I feel like we will be even if I did this.
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Hi,
If you have a one night stand, you may get something that will last a life time.
Very bad idea !
If you hate him, leave him.
T.
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| lalapalooza |
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Posted: 5/12/2008 3:34 PM |
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Subject: Revenge |
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New WomanSaver
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Otisville United States
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| Momof4flowers wrote: |
| lalapalooza wrote: | | To clarify, I�m not talking about cheating on him with a man who is also married (that, I feel, would make me a whore). I�m talking about a one-night-stand after meeting at a bar type of thing. We are in counseling... I still want to rub that pain and torment in his face. Of course, you all are right, I don�t want to be an old w*ore, but on the other hand I feel like we will be even if I did this. |
You will not be equal. It will not equal things out, and why would you want to cause anyone that kind of pain? Do you love your husband?�It‘s not my marriage, but, since you asked, I will tell you-your next move after the std tests will be divorce court. Me? I wouldn‘t use my body that way, and I certainly wouldn‘t be having a one night stand.�
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Meandnotyou, :) Cheers!
Shally: We were married when I was 25. We had a great relationship before and during our marriage up until his affair started. He was sweet, would do special things for our anniversary and Valentines Day and so forth. He was very kind and loving. We had our first baby in 2007. I had a difficult pregnancy, and thats when the "working overtime" and "just out with the guys" crap started. I saw her once, actually, she was introduced to me by one of H‘s coworkers, as a "friend" of both him and my husband. Towards the end of that pregnancy, he actually left to go live with his hoor. (He tried telling me he was moving in with an old buddy of his, but I stalked him a bit and... well yeah, maybe an old f*ck buddy.) Started filing divorce papers, but it was never finalized. He came crawling back, feeling ****ty, but still getting angry at me that I wasn‘t treating him nice and yadah yadah. It‘s partially true, I was awfully distant from him, but at the same time, I wasn‘t reaching out towards anyone. I thought he should be trying to reach out to me. He thought I was having an affair (which I was not - who the hell gets in an affair during pregnancy? WHO?). Some days I feel fine and it doesn‘t cross my mind... I know she‘s not in the picture. She moved to another state and he doesn‘t go away on business trips. Our relationship has improved, but its not recovered back to what it once was. Then other days, like today, I want him to feel the same kind of torment I felt. Going through childbirth only being able to think about your husband and his wh*re f*cking. Having the in-laws see my pitiful gaze at them... only to be met with cold, calloused ones. (They never liked me). Non-stop crying, agonizing. Sleepless nights. Alienation from the world.
Motherof4: Yes, I love him. I‘m a loyal person, but once crossed, I have a very difficult time regaining trust. But, I‘m not a religious type, and I don‘t have any qualms about using my body if I think it would give me peace of mind.
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| lalapalooza |
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Posted: 5/12/2008 3:42 PM |
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Subject: Revenge |
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New WomanSaver
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Total Posts: 5
Otisville United States
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I guess what I‘m trying to get at is that I love him and want to stay with him and be happy, but, I also want him to agonize in the same way I did. (I know, it‘s probably something I can‘t have both ways.) So divorce isn‘t really part of the question. Though I‘ve pretty much gotten answers from people whose heads are more level than mine likely is at the moment. :)
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| meandnotyou |
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Posted: 5/12/2008 3:53 PM |
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Subject: Revenge |
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WomanSaver MoFo
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Montreal Canada
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| lalapalooza wrote: | | I guess what I‘m trying to get at is that I love him and want to stay with him and be happy, but, I also want him to agonize in the same way I did. (I know, it‘s probably something I can‘t have both ways.) So divorce isn‘t really part of the question. Though I‘ve pretty much gotten answers from people whose heads are more level than mine likely is at the moment. :) |
Focking another isn‘t going to make him agonize.
Eating beans and passing gas at every opportunity will. Only then will he realize that the hangover is over.

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| lalapalooza |
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Posted: 5/12/2008 4:11 PM |
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Subject: Revenge |
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New WomanSaver
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Otisville United States
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| meandnotyou wrote: |
| lalapalooza wrote: | | I guess what I‘m trying to get at is that I love him and want to stay with him and be happy, but, I also want him to agonize in the same way I did. (I know, it‘s probably something I can‘t have both ways.) So divorce isn‘t really part of the question. Though I‘ve pretty much gotten answers from people whose heads are more level than mine likely is at the moment. :) |
Focking another isn‘t going to make him agonize. Eating beans and passing gas at every opportunity will. Only then will he realize that the hangover is over. 
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Heh, it may make him agonize... but its not exactly the same kind of agonizing I‘m thinking of that I want him to do.
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| meandnotyou |
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Posted: 5/12/2008 4:22 PM |
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Subject: Revenge |
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WomanSaver MoFo
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| lalapalooza wrote: |
| meandnotyou wrote: |
| lalapalooza wrote: |
| I guess what I‘m trying to get at is that I love him and want to stay with him and be happy, but, I also want him to agonize in the same way I did. (I know, it‘s probably something I can‘t have both ways.) So divorce isn‘t really part of the question. Though I‘ve pretty much gotten answers from people whose heads are more level than mine likely is at the moment. :) |
Focking another isn‘t going to make him agonize.
Eating beans and passing gas at every opportunity will. Only then will he realize that the hangover is over.

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Heh, it may make him agonize... but its not exactly the same kind of agonizing I‘m thinking of that I want him to do. |
Keep this in mind, girl -
Once he finds out, and he will...don‘t think for one second he‘ll ever let you forget it - or your child.
The second your child is old enough to know what a hobag is, you‘ll be it.
All joking aside - proceed with caution and think it through.
Men never end up with reputations, except those in the eyes of their wives. Women, on the other hand, are always labeled "sluts". By everyone.
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| bookworm80@live.com |
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Posted: 5/12/2008 6:15 PM |
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Subject: Revenge |
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WomanSaver Lurker
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I have lived this story myself except that my children were a little older before I found out about my husband‘s first affair.
It is important to get into counseling as a couple. If you have some assistance with communication it may help.
It is also important to be prepared for the possibility that he will cheat again. You need to be prepared to raise your child on your own.
You may want to see a good divorce lawyer to understand the laws in your state.
And save some money in your name alone.
I stayed with my husband after his first affair and things went pretty well for about 4 or 5 years. Then, I developed some health problems. It did not take long for him to start cheating again when I was sick.
We are separated now. I am grateful that I got good legal advice after the first affair. I had a document prepared that included a confession and a financial settlement.
I am thrilled that he is now dating a younger woman (about 30 years younger than he is). Someone will need to suppost him in his oild age.
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| meandnotyou |
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Posted: 5/12/2008 6:19 PM |
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Subject: Revenge |
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WomanSaver MoFo
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| bookworm80@live.com wrote: | I have lived this story myself except that my children were a little older before I found out about my husband‘s first affair.
It is important to get into counseling as a couple. If you have some assistance with communication it may help.
It is also important to be prepared for the possibility that he will cheat again. You need to be prepared to raise your child on your own.
You may want to see a good divorce lawyer to understand the laws in your state.
And save some money in your name alone.
I stayed with my husband after his first affair and things went pretty well for about 4 or 5 years. Then, I developed some health problems. It did not take long for him to start cheating again when I was sick.
We are separated now. I am grateful that I got good legal advice after the first affair. I had a document prepared that included a confession and a financial settlement.
I am thrilled that he is now dating a younger woman (about 30 years younger than he is). Someone will need to suppost him in his oild age. |

"Oild age" hahahahahahahaha!
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| BustyLaMoan |
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Posted: 5/12/2008 6:59 PM |
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Subject: Revenge |
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WomanSaver MoFo
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| lalapalooza wrote: | | So, I‘ll cut to the chase. My husband cheated on me a little over a year ago now. He has done much to repent... but I still am resentful/hurt. I‘ve been contemplating cheating on him to give him a dose of his own medicine. Has anyone done this? If so, how did it turn out? What do you all think about revenge cheating? Good idea? Bad idea? All thoughts on the subject are welcome. |
Sure I thought about hurting him just as bad. But you know what? Just like you I love him and I want my marriage to work. It was already in trouble, why add to it?
Think about it.............could you have a one nighter and go home and rub his nose in it? Could you actually look him in the eye and tell him straight up what you did? I think you‘d be crying that you did something so stupid.
I am two and half years out. Things are way better now and getting even better. If you love him and want to salvage your marriage do what ever it takes to make it work. BUT only as long as he is doing the same and showing you daily how much he loves you and wants it to work too.

So I give the idea a big thumbs down.
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| sunny fl |
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Posted: 5/12/2008 8:36 PM |
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Subject: Revenge |
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WomanSaver MoFo
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| lalapalooza wrote: | |
So, I‘ll cut to the chase. My husband cheated on me a little over a year ago now. He has done much to repent... but I still am resentful/hurt. I‘ve been contemplating cheating on him to give him a dose of his own medicine. Has anyone done this? If so, how did it turn out? What do you all think about revenge cheating? Good idea? Bad idea? All thoughts on the subject are welcome.
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Dont do it! If you have the desire to be with another divorce him. It will hurt you more then it hurts him, and hell what if you like it?? Then where would your marriage be!
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| oldwiz |
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Posted: 5/12/2008 10:12 PM |
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Subject: Revenge |
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| sunny fl wrote: |
| lalapalooza wrote: |
| So, I‘ll cut to the chase. My husband cheated on me a little over a year ago now. He has done much to repent... but I still am resentful/hurt. I‘ve been contemplating cheating on him to give him a dose of his own medicine. Has anyone done this? If so, how did it turn out? What do you all think about revenge cheating? Good idea? Bad idea? All thoughts on the subject are welcome. |
Dont do it! If you have the desire to be with another divorce him. It will hurt you more then it hurts him, and hell what if you like it?? Then where would your marriage be! |
Under those circumstances, if the mere fact that a wrong was responded to with another wrong didn‘t sink the marriage, enjoying it most certainly would.
The saying, "Revenge is a dish best eaten cold!" has a lot of truth to it, in my estimation, as does the advice that the best revenge is living well.
In my experience, I never needed to do a thing but forgive, which I did for myself, not her. She doesn‘t even know it. She doesn‘t have to. I went on with my life and prospered while she‘s been run over by the karma train several times.
Perhaps the best action is to take no action at all.
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| Uncle Don |
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Posted: 5/13/2008 1:52 PM |
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Subject: Revenge |
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WomanSaver MoFo
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I agree that it is a very bad idea. For so many reasons. Don‘t lower yourself and don‘t think for a minute that you will feel better knowing that you did this. Go to church instead. Make yourself a better person and get those ideas out of your head. Show him what a mistake he made gambling his wife, family and home like he did. But seeking revenge is a bad idea especially what you have in mind.
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