WomanSavers.com Forum / GENERAL / Self Esteem

Girl you should be thanking your lucky stars that this relationship is over.

But since you have a daughter with him it won‘t be that easy.

The guy is a piece of garbage, really, how low he must be to stoop to this level, the mother of his child, to hurt you so much. And yes I can envision and feel your pain. I would prolly cry my eyes out too.

But sweety he only says these things to further put you down, because just maybe he realizes he has made a mistake, and he is talking up the other girl, if she even exists, to convince himself, that he made the right move.

I agree with the other poster, for the sake of your daughter you will just have to ignore whatever he says, don‘t be baited, and above all don‘t show emotion. When he starts whispering his dirty lies in your ear, just start humming a song in your brain, Mary had a little lamb works wonders for me, when I have to tune someone out...lol

I guarantee he will get tired after a while, if he sees your emotional barrier cannot be breached anymore, and he will move on, most likely to his next victim.

I would rather be by myself for the rest of my life than being with a complete ass like your ex.

Things will get better with time trust me, your pain will lessen and so will his verbal attacks. Stick around here for some support, there are some mighty nice people here.

But for now I give you a big hug

Stay strong, and be glad he is "mostly" out of your life.

The thing you have to bear in mind is, he‘s going to say anything it takes to hurt you.  Why?  Because you hurt him when you decided to call it quits and he‘s not mature enough to handle it like a man...so he handles it like a child.

This means you have to be the adult because he‘s not going to be.  If I were in your shoes I‘d tell him you have no interest in listening to his little "jabs" and that if he can‘t control himself you‘ll be forced to get a restraining order until he can learn to conduct himself like a responsible human being.  If he wants to see his child, you can make the exchange at a safe place such as a police station where they will ensure he conducts himself in an appropriate manner.

Just bear in mind that the focus of what he‘s saying is not the truth.  His reason for saying it is purely a childish attempt to hurt you because you hurt him by leaving.

Coldstand ~ Obviously you have wonderful traits,why else would he have been with you in the first place.  You have a beautiful little child and more strength than he does.  That‘s exactly why he‘s making these childish remarks.  He‘s trying to put you down to make himself feel better.  Verbal abuse hurts just as much as physical abuse.  Whether his immature remarks are steming from guilt, hurt, embarrasment or whatever...  It‘s easier for him to lash out at you than to take a look at his assinine self.  You need to worry about your child and yourself.  Don‘t worry, he‘ll get a dose of his own medicine and try to come slithering back.  And then those awful words will come back to haunt him.  I am happy that your child can not comprehend his insults now, what an awful way for a child to remember their father.  Wishing you love and support !!  STAY STRONG !!  Beauty radiates from within yourself, it lives in your heart.

Everyone else here is absolutely 100% right.  Especially the comment about asking him "are you done now?" and acting like his comments were insignificant.  I know they still hurt.  I remember my ex complained about his new girlfriend being heavy, but when I pointed out that he said that about her (he tried to tell her I said it when I hadn‘t even seen her yet), he said "well you are almost as big as she is."  I weighed 100 pounds less than her....but he said it because he knows I worry about my weight (and my now husband knows that too...thus they find a way to use it when they want to hurt us).  It hurt, but then I realized how incredibly ridiculous it was.  Rather than being a comment about me, it was a comment on him.  And despite the fact that I knew exactly what I could say that would cut him to the quick, I didn‘t. 

Your ex knew it would hurt you.  He doesn‘t even believe it himself.  It‘s simply his way of hurting you over again.  When you move on, you really will realize what an ass he is.  You will find that someone else will treat you with respect.   And ol‘ exie will be left in the dust.

I‘m glad you got out of that relationship too.  He will do this to every woman he comes in contact with.  If he really is seeing someone now, it won‘t be long until she is getting that same treatment.  Really sad.  Hopefully she will kick him to the curb too.

Hang in there, and keep coming here for support.  In time, those words will actually make you laugh because you will no longer give the words consideration, but consider the source instead.

I agree 100% with what everyone has said to you...BUT you need to take precautions for your own safety and to STOP the verbal garbage that comes out of his pie hole.  You need to find a "PUBLIC" place for him to meet up so he can see his child...he is no longer welcome in YOUR comfort place (home)!!  Do you have custody established?  Are you getting Child Support?

Men like him don‘t deserve beautiful strong women like you!!  You are the stronger one, you got out and have the opprotunity to really enjoy what life has to offer with out that POS dragging you down!!

I was with my X for 5 years and he said many a hurtful thing to me, did many hurtful things to me..but I got the BEST REVENGE....I got away (like you did) and I am living MY LIFE MY WAY!!  I do occasionally see my X and he just stares at me..I‘ve never looked better or been happier...they hate that!!!!  So go...make yourself Happy and live a happy life...it will eat at him like you wouldn‘t believe!!!