| AUTHOR |
MESSAGE
|
| virtousone |
 |
|
Posted: 5/27/2006 9:01 PM |
 |
Subject: Is your husband addicted to porn? |
|
|
|
WomanSaver Regular
Female Member
Age: 33
Total Posts: 55
Paramount
California
United States
offline
Invite To Chat Room
 Send Note
|
Is your husband addicted to porn ? Well mine is and it just messed up everything he thinks that it is normal and tries to justify his stupid actions. He tries to turn the spot light on me and say that I am being nosey and lurking .I can‘nt help it if he is on line and I walk in he clicks aff and forgets to sign off. So when I get on the computer I run into his websites. How fooloish is he. Please give me some advice.
|
| hopeless_dreamer |
|
|
Posted: 5/28/2006 4:58 AM |
|
Subject: Is your husband addicted to porn? |
|
|
|
WomanSaver MoFo
Male Member
Age: 23
.gif)
Total Posts: 697
Los Angeles
California
United States
offline
Invite To Chat Room
Send Note
|
You‘re in a difficult position, no doubt about it. Porn is a
devastating addiction and may not be something he can overcome. Your
first course of action is to discuss with him how it makes you feel.
Tell him that you‘re disgusted and feel degraded by it. Tell him that
it insults you horribly that he has to resort to it. Tell him that it
drives a huge gulf between your relationship. Communicate calmly, that
is step one.
If he loves you, he will listen to your concerns and make a conscious
decision: you, or the porn. Be warned though, his actions speak louder
than his words. Check to ensure that he actually has given it up. You
aren‘t being nosy. You are his wife, he isn‘t supposed
to hide things from you. The very fact that he gets upset by your
"nosiness" should be a huge warning that something isn‘t kosher.
He may not be able to walk away though. In this case, you have to make
a decision. Will you tolerate it? Will you accept it? Are you willing
to stay in a relationship where your partner actively watches material
you find repulsive? These are not easy questions to answer, but you
will likely have to answer them all the same. It is difficult, but you
can do it. Good Luck.
|
| BMW |
|
|
Posted: 5/28/2006 6:45 AM |
|
Subject: Is your husband addicted to porn? |
|
|
|
WomanSaver MoFo
Female Member
Age: 96
Total Posts: 2001
offline
Invite To Chat Room
Send Note
|
Porn addiction is a serious thing. I have a number of articles on the blog about it (there‘s one there today). It is also progressive. If he doesn‘t get help, your relationship may be in serious trouble. You aren‘t lurking you are concerned but don‘t confront him about it again until you‘re ready to give him an ultimatum. Maybe you need to install anti-porn software on the computer?
some links for you:
http://www.porn-free.org
http://www.firesofdarkness.com
http://www.chatcheaters.com/addicted-to-porn.html
http://love.ivillage.com/lnssex/sextaboos/0,,saver_9pjc,00.html
Great site with loads of links for you: http://www.fishthe.net/porn_help.html
BMW
http://womansavers.blogspot.com
|
| virtousone |
|
|
Posted: 5/29/2006 12:17 AM |
|
Subject: Is your husband addicted to porn? |
|
|
|
WomanSaver Regular
Female Member
Age: 33
Total Posts: 55
Paramount
California
United States
offline
Invite To Chat Room
Send Note
|
| BlogMistress Womansaver wrote: | Porn addiction is a serious thing. I have a number of articles on the blog about it (there‘s one there today). It is also progressive. If he doesn‘t get help, your relationship may be in serious trouble. You aren‘t lurking you are concerned but don‘t confront him about it again until you‘re ready to give him an ultimatum. Maybe you need to install anti-porn software on the computer?
some links for you:
http://www.porn-free.org
http://www.firesofdarkness.com
http://www.chatcheaters.com/addicted-to-porn.html
http://love.ivillage.com/lnssex/sextaboos/0,,saver_9pjc,00.html
Great site with loads of links for you: http://www.fishthe.net/porn_help.html
BMW
http://womansavers.blogspot.com
|
thank you for the advice I really appreciate it I have reached the point that I am just so numb emotionally that I do not care what happens anymore. I have asked him to leave on many accasions but he never does. I have gone to the police on several accasions to ask for help because not only is he addicted to porn he is a addict and you won‘t believe what they told me. They said " that they can not physically take him out of my house that he has to want to get help or I just have to file for a divorce or just wait untill they pull him over on the street.
|
| virtousone |
|
|
Posted: 5/29/2006 12:24 AM |
|
Subject: Is your husband addicted to porn? |
|
|
|
WomanSaver Regular
Female Member
Age: 33
Total Posts: 55
Paramount
California
United States
offline
Invite To Chat Room
Send Note
|
| hopeless_dreamer wrote: | You‘re in a difficult position, no doubt about it. Porn is a devastating addiction and may not be something he can overcome. Your first course of action is to discuss with him how it makes you feel. Tell him that you‘re disgusted and feel degraded by it. Tell him that it insults you horribly that he has to resort to it. Tell him that it drives a huge gulf between your relationship. Communicate calmly, that is step one.
If he loves you, he will listen to your concerns and make a conscious decision: you, or the porn. Be warned though, his actions speak louder than his words. Check to ensure that he actually has given it up. You aren‘t being nosy. You are his wife, he isn‘t supposed to hide things from you. The very fact that he gets upset by your "nosiness" should be a huge warning that something isn‘t kosher.
He may not be able to walk away though. In this case, you have to make a decision. Will you tolerate it? Will you accept it? Are you willing to stay in a relationship where your partner actively watches material you find repulsive? These are not easy questions to answer, but you will likely have to answer them all the same. It is difficult, but you can do it. Good Luck.
|
Thank you for your advice I just have to decide what I am going to do because it is so much easier said then done. You know and its not that I want to stay with this man like that I have asked him to leave and he never does. T o be honest I don‘t think that any one wants to take him because he has had so many opportunities to leave but is still here. That is what mind boggles me why does he do the things that he does and not only is he a addicted to porn he is a addict and he just looks sick to me like a sick person. He can not even cope with every day living he is good for three days and down for two. I have a big decision to make thank you again.
|
| BMW |
|
|
Posted: 5/29/2006 5:20 PM |
|
Subject: Is your husband addicted to porn? |
|
|
|
WomanSaver MoFo
Female Member
Age: 96
Total Posts: 2001
offline
Invite To Chat Room
Send Note
|
| virtousone wrote: |
| BlogMistress Womansaver wrote: | Porn addiction is a serious thing. I have a number of articles on the blog about it (there‘s one there today). It is also progressive. If he doesn‘t get help, your relationship may be in serious trouble. You aren‘t lurking you are concerned but don‘t confront him about it again until you‘re ready to give him an ultimatum. Maybe you need to install anti-porn software on the computer?
some links for you:
http://www.porn-free.org
http://www.firesofdarkness.com
http://www.chatcheaters.com/addicted-to-porn.html
http://love.ivillage.com/lnssex/sextaboos/0,,saver_9pjc,00.html
Great site with loads of links for you: http://www.fishthe.net/porn_help.html
BMW
http://womansavers.blogspot.com
|
thank you for the advice I really appreciate it I have reached the point that I am just so numb emotionally that I do not care what happens anymore. I have asked him to leave on many accasions but he never does. I have gone to the police on several accasions to ask for help because not only is he addicted to porn he is a addict and you won‘t believe what they told me. They said " that they can not physically take him out of my house that he has to want to get help or I just have to file for a divorce or just wait untill they pull him over on the street.
|
The police still need a lot more educating in the area of Domestic Violence.
I had to go to the police about a DV issue years back and I WISH I had gone to a Domestic Violence Crisis Center first!!! When I did they put me in touch with the right people and I got action.
I strongly recommend you go to the bottom of the page, click on ABUSE EMERGENCIES, find a DV center near you, call, make an appt to speak to an advocate (if the receptionist asks too many questions just tell them you need an appt with a counselor ASAP) Go in and KEEP the appt. Develop a plan to get him out of the house.
There are also links on the blog for divorce. I saw your post about "the Lord" but I don‘t know of any God who wants a woman to stay in a horrible disrespectful situation like yours. While I am not Christian, the Jesus I know of would have kicked your H‘s butt.
BMW
http://womansavers.blogspot.com
|
| Athenaskiva |
|
|
Posted: 11/17/2006 5:26 PM |
|
Subject: Is your husband addicted to porn? |
|
|
|
WomanSaver Lurker
Female Member
Age: 32
Total Posts: 10
sacramento
California
United States
offline
Invite To Chat Room
Send Note
|
| virtousone wrote: |
| Is your husband addicted to porn ? Well mine is and it just messed up everything he thinks that it is normal and tries to justify his stupid actions. He tries to turn the spot light on me and say that I am being nosey and lurking .I can‘nt help it if he is on line and I walk in he clicks aff and forgets to sign off. So when I get on the computer I run into his websites. How fooloish is he. Please give me some advice. |
I am so sorry to hear that he is addicted to porn! As with most addicts it‘s likely he won‘t figure it out until he starts losing important things because of his addiction. I am not advocating you leave him though. I hope you do what‘s best for you and (your dependents). Can you go to couples therapy? This must be hurting you. Athena
|
| uberbeotch |
|
|
Posted: 12/23/2006 6:18 PM |
|
Subject: Is your husband addicted to porn? |
|
|
|
WomanSaver MoFo
Female Member
Age: 467
Total Posts: 1138
In a Dark Castle
Belarus
offline
Invite To Chat Room
Send Note
|
Hi. I am sorry you‘re going through this. My now ex-husband was addicted to porn too. He‘d turn down sex with me, but then I‘d catch him later with his hand on his dick, either on the computer or watching DVD‘s.
We fought about it, finally I told him it was me or the porn. He chose the porn. His loss. His problem too. I want to make love with a real person who is HERE, not something fake on a computer. How sad he is.
Try this site too - they have a message board that‘s been very helpful to me:
http://p103.ezboard.com/bmothersagainstpornographyaddiction
Take care of yourself. Look for some real life support too, such as COSA, S-Anon or even Al-Anon.
|