WomanSavers.com Forum / California / Bothered in LA

I apologize for the delay in replying.  The posts seem to take longer to get to me.  So, here we go:

You say you want this man out of your life, but you are too busy to do that.  If you really want this man out of your life, you will find the time.   It is now time to start thinking about you.  Don’t worry about posting him on My Space.  That is just an easy fix to make you feel better.  Let’s concentrate on you.  If you want out, please go see an attorney to see what your options are.  Do you have all the financial information?  Accounts, IRA’s, etc.?

As for his excuses, they always do the “I don’t know what you are talking about” speech.  And they put the blame on you for acting “silly” or “crazy.”  Please don’t let him do that to you.  Do not let him drag you down to his level.

Kick him out and we will take it from there.   I would suggest that you post your story on the Womansaver’s board under “General” or to “Catch a Cheater.”  You will receive advice from other members who have been through the same thing.  All wonderful people.   If you do not feel comfortable doing that, then you can certainly just post to me.

Thanks ladies for getting back to me and california girl dont worry it was not late it was just on time I want to tell you that you are right I need to think about myself now and get him out of my life.  Today was a good day until I got home I hate being home it just depressses me so much.

I get angry and sort of scared because I have a friend that is going through a divorce and she seems to be getting the raw end of the deal.

Any way I am going to look up on divorce and try to stay cool and level headed.  You know I would like to post on My space but your right it would only make me feel better and who knows who would read it any way.  Thanks alot  

I will let you know how things are going oh yeah I asked him if he would like to go talk to a marriage counslor and he said for what why should we tell people our problems.   Then he tries to throw my past like 8 years ago in my face saying that he knows how I am feeling. Yet we were not married and he has the nerve to bring stupid things up like that. 

Today he has been all nice washing the clothes and cleaning it makes me sick I am just angry and hurt.   bye bye 

You know hotmama you are right the way that I found out that he gave his cell # to this girl from long beach on myspace is because I got a hold of his password and sure enough there it was in black in white.  Plus other things that he sent other girls.

I do have a big decision to make today was a rough morning for me I woke up and I saw that he was on the computer and I knew that he did not come to bed to sleep .  It was so wierd all these thoughts began to fill my mind and I asked him what he was doing and he sais nothing I asked him if he was on myspace he said yes and then I said what is your password he gave it to me after a couple of exchanged words. Any way I decided that I would just leave for a while because I am so angry that I can‘t even cry. I feel at times like I want to explode and just go crazy but I just hold it in.

He would not let me leave he ended up going with me and he gave me a story that these are women that he will never meet and they just send things back in forth. Then he began to throw my past in my face and say now you know how I felt.

I know that this is probably going to sound stupid but we were not together 8 years ago and he was seeing someone else when I was seeing someone else. any way at this moment I just want him to feel the pain I feel but what makes me mad is that I am I am not the same person I was 8 years ago I have the fear of the Lord God Almighty and he is the only thing at this point holding me back from doing the payback move. 

I guess thats why I have anger inside because if only I could pay him back I dont even drink  or go out I work as a preschool teacher and a mother of 4

 and go to church I am a christian and thats what keeps me focused . I just wonder why he does not leave I told him the door is open .I know your probably saying well God does not want you to live like that and I know that, I spoke to one of the pastors from my church and he said that God reveals things to us and that I need to make a stand that a man his going to do as much as a women lets him do. The funny thing is that the Monday that passed I was going to get information on filing for a Divorce and then I woke up unable to walk I was in pain on my back I was in bed for 3 days unable to move only enough to get to the doctors.I called in work and my supervisor was pissed off and she told me that I can not take personal days off only sick days with a Dr.s note.  And if I want a day off it has to be approved. I work mon-fri 8:30A to 4:30P and go to school on tues ,wens nights.So I find myself so busy right now.  Yesterday he was being all nice and trying to be nice today but he just makes me even more mad I guess I can except it if he were to just leave me the heck alone then to live in my house and do the things he is doing...........sorry for the long story I just needed to get it all out thanks.

Hello californiagrl I have been so busy that I have not had a chance to post anything but I am doing fine .  Sometimes I hate to keep talking about the same old thing because honestly things have not changed he just seems to keep it all under cover he claims that he got rid of everything and says that he wants to work things out lately he has been a little bit more helpful and stuff.  Other then that I have a lot of feelings I need to deal with right now and sometimes I guess I feel like I sound like a crybaby complaining about my situation he told me that if he had a place to go he would leave.     I really wish that he would seek help for himself so that he can maybe see things the way they are.   Well am hoping to one day post some really good news. and not the same thing but I appreciate this site very much because everyone is so supportive and encouraging.

Don‘t worry about him getting help you need to focus more on you and dealing with your feelings and what you want out of life.  Good luck

Hello every one I just thought I would vent a little bit I am so bothered I am having so many mixed feelings of hurt anger and I am very irritable.  As you all know I have been having problems with my husband and we tried to work things out .  But I cant stop from feeling angry and bothered and I want so much for him to feel the same thing I feel and what really is messed up is that I want him to hurt.  I do not trust him for crap because he is such a liar

He still does what he said he would not do I have come to realize that he is not going to change nor can I make him change I am so fustrated that I just want to run away for a night go have some drinks and get my mind off him for a moment at least.   I know that I have alot of issues to deal with and I am struggling to deal with myself.  It gets kind of tiredsome being in the same situation and I dont do anything about it to change and the worst part is I live right now full of regret of marrying him oh how I regret it so much.

Anyway thanks for allowing me to vent ..