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| shawmarilyn |
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Posted: 2/27/2009 2:49 PM |
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Subject: very concerned |
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New WomanSaver
Female Member
Age: 31
Total Posts: 1
Tampa
Florida
United States
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I am intimate with this guy who claimed he was no longer in a relationship, that he lives with. He told me bits and pieces about their relationship, and even admitted to hitting her on different occasions were he said she provoked him with her behavior. He know says he realizes that hitting her was wrong, but as of today they are no longer together, and she is staying with her friend. He says he wants to date now, and not be in a serious relationship, and he also said that he is going to get some counseling for his anger issues. Which, that is fine.
What I don‘t understand is why I want to be with this guy, why am I attracted to him?
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| Miss Luvly1 |
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Posted: 2/28/2009 11:04 AM |
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Subject: very concerned |
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WomanSaver MoFo
Female Member
Age: 40
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Total Posts: 1027
The Rondanthe
Minnesota
United States
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The question isn‘t why am I? The question is why WAS I?
He didn‘t tell you right out about his past until after you were intimate. Your gut should be telling you now to RUN!
My experience with guys like this who tell you about their past abusive episodes is that they are telling you the truth about themselves so that you won‘t be so surprised when they do it to you.
If he tells you he is a snake. He is one. Don‘t go any further or accept any more phone calls from this man.
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| Rhiannon |
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Posted: 2/28/2009 1:23 PM |
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Subject: very concerned |
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WomanSaver MoFo
Female Member
Age: 0
Total Posts: 3518
Lacey
Washington
United States
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I agree with Miss Luvly. If he tells you that he was abusive with someone else, then he is also going to be abusive with you.
Saying that she "provoked" him is another way of not accepting responsibility for his own behavior, which is also typical of most abusers. They never want to accept responsibility for what they do.
Anger management counseling does not cure the problem, because domestic violence isn‘t about anger. It‘s about power and control. Anger management makes for smarter and better batterers.
You may be very attracted to him, but he‘s given you the first clue that he‘s a bad apple. Do not assume that things will be "better" with you. These men carry on the same patterns in new relationhips and they only get worse.
Read the posts from the battered women and the survivors, and you can see what your future is likely to be like if you stay with him. These men do not change.
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