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| minnesotagal |
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Posted: 2/20/2009 9:51 AM |
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Subject: My boyfriend seems to have a porn issue |
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New WomanSaver
Female Member
Age: 24
Total Posts: 1
Minneapolis
Minnesota
United States
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My boyfriend seems to watch a lot of porn, mostly free on the internet. I have been told and somewhat believe that things like this are a natural for men, I know men are visual, but I feel hurt sometimes when he uses it so much. One weekend, I was at his place almost the whole time and we had had sex multiple times in one day. I left to go pick something up at the store for about fifteen minutes and in that time he made sure to go look at porn websites while i was gone. I felt very hurt, because the scenarios he looks at online, are things he tells me he is "not into". He also tells me that he likes me best without makeup or fancy clothes/lingerie, but he is constantly looking at pictures of women who are completely done up, fake breasts and with unrealistically perfect bodies. I‘ve recently found out that he spends considerable amount of time at work, looking for risque pictures and posting them on a men‘s forum that he likes.
I guess I don‘t understand the facination with so many pictures and so much porn. It makes me feel like I am not enough for him, even if he tells me that I am. Its confusing that he seems to admire traits in me (being wholesome, religious and saving my sexuality for him) but then he spends so much time and energy seeking out internet acitivity that goes against all of that.
I‘m wondering what is reasonable this think in this situation. Do I have a right to be upset about it? Am I being unreasonable?
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| Miss Luvly1 |
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Posted: 2/25/2009 11:17 PM |
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Subject: My boyfriend seems to have a porn issue |
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WomanSaver MoFo
Female Member
Age: 40
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Total Posts: 870
The Rondanthe
Minnesota
United States
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If it makes you feel uncomfortable then it‘s not right.
My first thought was about him at "work" and putting up pictures on the internet. Who does that stuff at work unless you have a problem.
No, your guy ain‘t right. I do believe if you stick with him that you will continue to be hurt. Find a guy who is true to you. Read what Kaylar wrote. It is true, I believe that later on he would cheat on you.
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| msthang100 |
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Posted: 4/7/2009 10:37 PM |
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Subject: My boyfriend seems to have a porn issue |
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New WomanSaver
Female Member
Age: 35
Total Posts: 1
Windsor Mill
Maryland
United States
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If this really bothers and hurt you and he does not stop then you can either stay hurt and live with it or move on and feel good in a healthy relationship. He‘s not going to stop watching the porn as long as you stay and tolerate it. I had this issue with my ex and it would hurt me also. He would lie and say he stopped or he would stop if i decided to leave him. But of course, he would eventually still do it. It‘s a form of cheating and a man will never admit to this. My advice is to move on and protect your self esteem.
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| uberbeotch |
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Posted: 4/17/2009 12:30 PM |
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Subject: My boyfriend seems to have a porn issue |
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WomanSaver MoFo
Female Member
Age: 489
Total Posts: 1257
In a Dark Castle
Belarus
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| AdolfJr wrote: | | If your man is watching a lot of porn, it means that you‘re failing him sexually. I‘m sorry, the truth hurts, but what he really wants is whips and masks and to tie you up and **** you till you bleed. Thats the way it is. |
Shut up you FUCKING idiot!
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| uberbeotch |
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Posted: 4/17/2009 12:41 PM |
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Subject: My boyfriend seems to have a porn issue |
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WomanSaver MoFo
Female Member
Age: 489
Total Posts: 1257
In a Dark Castle
Belarus
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Hi Minnesotagal
Don‘t listen to that idiot above!
Your bf is doing that stuff at WORK? Can he be FIRED for that?
Having had a few bf‘s who were addicted to porn, here‘s my advice:
Break up with him now. You can‘t change a man. If you‘ve spoken to him about this & he hasn‘t stopped out of love & respect for you, then he‘s giving you a very clear message: his wants & needs come 1st & he doesn‘t care about your feelings.
He might be a good guy in many ways, but he is doing something that:
1. hurts your feelings
2. could get him fired from his job
3. is damaging your relationship
4. shows how selfish & self-absorbed he is
He won‘t change unless HE feels he must. You can‘t force him. The catch is, if he does it FOR YOU, then he will resent you for that. However, if he KNOWS that he will lose you, he MAY make the right choice & give it up....but maybe not.
I can guarantee you that if you stand by & let this continue, it will escalate, maybe even to the point of hooking up with REAL people (but maybe not). It will always nag at you, in the back of your mind.
For me, it‘s a deal-breaker. You need to decide for yourself. I learned the hard way that bad behaviors don‘t go away when you get married. They actually often get worse!
You might also want to check out:
http://www.cosa-recovery.org/ for yourself
Good luck! You deserve BETTER!
UB
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