WomanSavers.com Forum / ASK SUSAN BARTELSTONE, CERTIFIED CRIME PREVENTION AND PERSONAL SAFETY SPECIALIST / jmc218

Hey JMC218,

you highjacked a thread from c12girl.  So if you want to just move it here that would be cool.

In answer to your question.  You‘re friends are totally right.  Your husband is sleeping with both of you and only he‘s not paying your bills anymore.  He doesn‘t help with your life and your family.   MOVE ON.

Don‘t take any phone calls, don‘t talk to him etc.  And for pete‘s sake quit sleeping with him.  He has been lying to you about everything.  Sheesh!  You honestly believe that crap about him not doing anything with her and he lives with her?  PULEEZE.

i never said i believed what he was telling me. That‘s why this is so much harder. I just don‘t understand why. Trust me he is not that bright to try and be slick. I have told him so many times how i feel about the situation and it hasn‘t always been pretty. I don‘t sit and wait for a call or anything like that. As a matter of fact when he does i have my kids answer. He has been very jealous about a friend i have who yes is male and yes who would like more. The reason it has not gone farther is because i am trying to fix my debt and take care of my children.

Like i said i just don‘t know what to believe. He claims he wouldn‘t tell me he loves me if he didn‘t mean it. Well come on i know better then that. They will say whatever to get what they want.But i just want to know if it could go back. i know it would never be the same as it was. Who knows maybe i am just stupid and blind. But i never tell someone i love them unless i mean it. And unfortunatly i do love him even though he is a ass.

Well in this case actions speak louder than words.  He is with her.  That is where he wants to be.

If he truly loved you he would be packing his stuff and getting out.  Even if this jack ass does decide that he wants to do this do not let him move back in with you.

He needs to prove himself and if he can‘t do that then there‘s your proof.  So he‘s jealous of a friend...big deal.  The only thing that means is that he can be happy with somebody else as long as you are not happy.

I have been bashing my head into a wall trying to figure out why my husband does the stuff he does.  There is just no end.  I am trying very hard to just let it go and let him go.

Even if it means that I am the only one pushing for a divorce.  Even if he comes back and says that he is going to change.  He hasn‘t yet, and I don‘t think he will.  But he always hits me in out of the blue with some outlandish BS.

I know very well how hard it is to move on.  I am now 3 weeks into a divorce process and it‘s been 2 weeks since my hubby has been home.  I cry daily.

I have to move on, cut bait as Lorrie would say.

He hasn‘t changed in 6 years, he‘s not going to.

Yeah - don‘t sleep with an ex.

There is a reason why the guy is an "ex."  Go back and remind yourself of what those "reasons" were.  Better yet, come up with a list and write them down. 

I agree with Miss Luvly.  If he is living with someone else, he‘s doing her, too, and who cares if he says he loves you?  You are sharing him with someone else, and the only one who is reaping any benefits is him.  Why would he give that up?  He thinks he‘s a real stud.

You deserve better.

Look out for yourself, and look out for your kids.  That is where your focus needs to be.  Taking care of them, meeting their needs. 

I understand liking sex and missing it.  There is a joke in my house that I don‘t remember what it is.  Sleeping with an ex is always a mistake, and it makes it that much harder to move on.