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MESSAGE
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| Hooty64 |
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Posted: 1/2/2009 10:44 AM |
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Subject: Husbands demands |
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New WomanSaver
Female Member
Age: 44
Total Posts: 1
Corpus Christi
Texas
United States
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My husband has a habit of throwing temper tantrums when I don‘t act on his sexual advances. Recently, I‘ve been home for the holiday break because I‘m a teacher. He is on call so there are times when he‘s home alot. He‘s used to his independence because of his work schedule. Many of the day to day responsibilities of keeping the family going fall to me. I take care and teach small children all day. I come home to tend our children when I‘m not working. I believe he spends a great deal of time, when he‘s not working, online viewing porn or in chat rooms that involve sexual acts that are not "typical". As a result, he‘s spent a great deal of effort trying to get me to do things that I‘m not really comfortable with.
Right before the new year, my husband wanted to see me "perform" with an unusually large toy. When I reminded him that the children were in the house, he because increasingly angry and violent as the day went on. He never has hit me or harmed one of the kids, but he threw and broke things and put his fist into one of the cabinets. My youngest son was witness to his anger outburst. Everytime we argue, it is about the same issue, but this time scared me. When it scared my kids, it became something completely different! The situation was not or would never have been diffused if I hadn‘t given him what he wanted.
I‘m not a child or a steriotypical female. Why am I putting up with this? I need to talk to someone, but I‘m not sure who to talk to. Is this sexual abuse? Am I just some kind of prude? I think my husband may be desensitized to a degree and can only respond to violent and/or degrading (to me) sex acts.
Just seeking advice...............
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| hopeless_dreamer |
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Posted: 1/2/2009 1:29 PM |
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Subject: Husbands demands |
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WomanSaver MoFo
Male Member
Age: 24
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Total Posts: 703
Los Angeles
California
United States
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| Hooty64 wrote: | |
My husband has a habit of throwing temper tantrums when I don‘t act on his sexual advances. Recently, I‘ve been home for the holiday break because I‘m a teacher. He is on call so there are times when he‘s home alot. He‘s used to his independence because of his work schedule. Many of the day to day responsibilities of keeping the family going fall to me. I take care and teach small children all day. I come home to tend our children when I‘m not working. I believe he spends a great deal of time, when he‘s not working, online viewing porn or in chat rooms that involve sexual acts that are not "typical". As a result, he‘s spent a great deal of effort trying to get me to do things that I‘m not really comfortable with. Right before the new year, my husband wanted to see me "perform" with an unusually large toy. When I reminded him that the children were in the house, he because increasingly angry and violent as the day went on. He never has hit me or harmed one of the kids, but he threw and broke things and put his fist into one of the cabinets. My youngest son was witness to his anger outburst. Everytime we argue, it is about the same issue, but this time scared me. When it scared my kids, it became something completely different! The situation was not or would never have been diffused if I hadn‘t given him what he wanted. I‘m not a child or a steriotypical female. Why am I putting up with this? I need to talk to someone, but I‘m not sure who to talk to. Is this sexual abuse? Am I just some kind of prude? I think my husband may be desensitized to a degree and can only respond to violent and/or degrading (to me) sex acts. Just seeking advice...............
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Yes, it is sexual and emotional abuse. You shouldn‘t even have to question yourself on this one. Him hitting the cabinets and breaking things is called displacement, and it is an immature defense mechanism.
If he doesn‘t have enough respect for you to take into consideration what you are comfortable with and what is ok with you, then you really need to re-evaluate your relationship. Since talking to him hasn‘t gotten you much anywhere, I would suggest counseling before he does hit you or the children.
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| supermom21664 |
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Posted: 1/3/2009 10:42 PM |
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Subject: Husbands demands |
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WomanSaver MoFo
Female Member
Age: 46
Total Posts: 1514
BFE
Texas
United States
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| hopeless_dreamer wrote: |
| Hooty64 wrote: |
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My husband has a habit of throwing temper tantrums when I don‘t act on his sexual advances. Recently, I‘ve been home for the holiday break because I‘m a teacher. He is on call so there are times when he‘s home alot. He‘s used to his independence because of his work schedule. Many of the day to day responsibilities of keeping the family going fall to me. I take care and teach small children all day. I come home to tend our children when I‘m not working. I believe he spends a great deal of time, when he‘s not working, online viewing porn or in chat rooms that involve sexual acts that are not "typical". As a result, he‘s spent a great deal of effort trying to get me to do things that I‘m not really comfortable with.
Right before the new year, my husband wanted to see me "perform" with an unusually large toy. When I reminded him that the children were in the house, he because increasingly angry and violent as the day went on. He never has hit me or harmed one of the kids, but he threw and broke things and put his fist into one of the cabinets. My youngest son was witness to his anger outburst. Everytime we argue, it is about the same issue, but this time scared me. When it scared my kids, it became something completely different! The situation was not or would never have been diffused if I hadn‘t given him what he wanted.
I‘m not a child or a steriotypical female. Why am I putting up with this? I need to talk to someone, but I‘m not sure who to talk to. Is this sexual abuse? Am I just some kind of prude? I think my husband may be desensitized to a degree and can only respond to violent and/or degrading (to me) sex acts.
Just seeking advice............... |
Yes, it is sexual and emotional abuse. You shouldn‘t even have to question yourself on this one. Him hitting the cabinets and breaking things is called displacement, and it is an immature defense mechanism.
If he doesn‘t have enough respect for you to take into consideration what you are comfortable with and what is ok with you, then you really need to re-evaluate your relationship. Since talking to him hasn‘t gotten you much anywhere, I would suggest counseling before he does hit you or the children.
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Well I was gonna say get rid of his sorry ass. As Lorrie says:It‘s time to cut bait". This man is a ticking time bomb and it is only a small matter of time before he begins hitting you or the children.
You just have to decide how far you are going to let this go. Are you willing to place yourself and your chldren in harm‘s way? If so then by all means stay with him if not leave him. this does not necessarily mean divorce him. It means that you are giving HIM time to change HIS behavior. If he is not willing to change then cut the line and go it alone.
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| malarkey marie |
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Posted: 2/3/2009 8:40 AM |
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Subject: Husbands demands |
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WomanSaver MoFo
Female Member
Age: 500
Total Posts: 804
Vatican city
Finland
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cut bait it is.
what‘s taking you so long? you have a job. you know he can‘t get off with out demeaning you and controling you.
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| bubblecropper |
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Posted: 2/5/2009 7:07 AM |
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Subject: Husbands demands |
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WomanSaver MoFo
Female Member
Age: 32
Total Posts: 1667
dublin
Ireland
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Hooty, please don‘t let the previous poster prevent you from posting here again...looks like it was just some bored schoolkid...you know the type, geeky with no friends so he surfs the net looking for ways to unburden his troubles....probably more to be pitied than hated poor kid!
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