| AUTHOR |
MESSAGE
|
| Vicki4138 |
 |
|
Posted: 6/5/2008 12:26 AM |
 |
Subject: Why aren‘t we having sex? |
|
|
|
New WomanSaver
Female Member
Age: 23
Total Posts: 1
Portland
Oregon
United States
offline
Invite To Chat Room
 Send Note
|
To start with my husband and I have been together for five years, and married for one. I am 23 and he is 37.
Over the past couple years he has stopped wanting sex. We have had sex only twice in the last year. Every month that goes by I make excuses as to why we haven‘t had sex. eg. he is too tired, he is too stressed, he just had surgery....
It has come to the point where I can‘t accept those excuses anymore. I have asked him about it SEVERAL times. I have asked him if it‘s me, and he assures me it‘s not. I have asked him if he has a medial problem, he tells me no.
I know that my husband isn‘t cheating on me, I have checked EVERYTHING out. However, the only thing he can tell me is that he doesn‘t know why he doesn‘t want sex. Or he tells me that asking him about it makes him not want to do it.
I have heard several times that our ages are the problem. However, I think it has absolutely nothing to do with that, as our relationship is perfect in every other aspect. We still snuggle, cuddle, hold hands, kiss, talk, laugh, smile, and have fun together.
I have gained some weight, but again, he assures me (and I believe him) that that‘s not the reason. Also, if it is the reason, then is it fair to me to have to live in fear that I won‘t get sex if I gain some weight?
At this point I am really wondering if marrying him was the right decision.
|
| hopeless_dreamer |
|
|
Posted: 6/7/2008 2:10 AM |
|
Subject: Why aren‘t we having sex? |
|
|
|
WomanSaver MoFo
Male Member
Age: 23
.gif)
Total Posts: 696
Los Angeles
California
United States
offline
Invite To Chat Room
Send Note
|
If I were to venture a guess, I‘d say it‘s probably an arousal problem.
At his age, erectile dysfuntion is somewhat rare, but it is a possibility, particularly if he has any of these risk factors:
diabetes
side effects of drugs
long smoking history
alcohol abuse
obesity
The other possibility is a psychological reason, but it‘s not as likely if you say that everything is ok with your relationship. The whole "when I ask him about it, it makes him want sex less" is a bit worrisome, it may hint at some underlying psychological problem, but that could just as likely be a defense mechanism (ah, that glorious male ego) against physiological ED.
My recommendation would be to find out whether he still gets erections. I‘ll leave it up to you to come up with clever ways of evaluating that...hehe. If he can still get it up just fine, then there‘s some psychological problem--seek marriage counseling. Otherwise, send him to the doc for a checkup and likely some viagra.
|