Hello all! I am new here. I have had some things happening recently with my husband. I would like some advice and new insight.
I am married to a very powerful man. Have been for 16 years. We have three kids. For 11 years I have stayed home and devoted myself to him, our kids and our home.
I recently left a very controlling religion. I feel like I have new wings to fly. The problem is that he isn‘t liking this at all. I am hungry for knowledge and experiences (without risking my wedding vows). I have found friends online on another discussion board. He doesn‘t like it.
OK, I went to NYC in March by myself to visit my brother who lives there. The whole trip I was getting phone calls from him. The kids are saying you drink too much. I used to. The kids say you yell. Yep, when they don‘t listen. You are on crack. WTH? No. You are in NYC with your boyfriend you met online. No, met a homosexual friend for lunch though. On and on. Anything to ruin my trip.
Let me also say, my husband is rarely home. He regularly comes home in the early hours of the morning. I am always at home.
So I get home. I put out fires, I thought. I clear up any lies. It doesn‘t get better. He tells me I can‘t talk on the phone with my friends. I can‘t be on the computer. No more alcohol. i am not to have a life outside of my home and family, unless he is with me. So I play along. Thinking this shall pass. I am the best wife ever, so sweet I fear I will vomit everyday.
Out of the blue he asks me for my cell phone password. Why? I won‘t give it. I have been playing by his rules. No need to check up on me too. This escalates into a major throwdown. I tell him I am filing for divorce in the morning.
I do as I say. I am on the way home and he calls. Don‘t try to use my credit or debit card. I am cut off. I am taken off the checking account. He ransacks my closet. I agree to hold off divorce and get therapy. Best thing I ever did!
I found out he also took mine and the kids passports. I had kept them in a lock box. He took it to work and popped the lock and put in a new one he only has the keys to.
Things are better, I thought. For many reasons I think he is cheating. He denies and claims to want only me. Just not in bed apparently. We went to Mexico last week. Sex once. So that‘s twice in 2 months.
Is it me, or is this really messed up?
LC