WomanSavers.com Forum / ASK SANDRA BROWN, M.A., PSYCHOTHERAPIST, RELATIONSHIP COUNSELOR & AUTHOR / JUST AN UPDATE

JUST AN UPDATE:

I did not have any contact with my boyfriend at all since Monday.  I went to the lake (with his bass boat in tow) on Tuesday evening to go camping by myself to relax, fish and contemplate my situation.  On Friday night he left a voice message on my home phone -- he sounded very nervous, and stammered and stuttered as if he was having trouble finding words to say.  A synopsis of the message:  "Uh, this is [his name].  Uh, I uh just want you to uh keep the boat.  I‘ll bring your camp stove, bedding and tent by tomorrow...it‘s the holiday weekend.  Uh, yeah, I uh...and that‘s that.  I‘ll give you a call before I come over to see if you‘re around.  Bye."  What he didn‘t know is that, because he has a key to my house, I barricaded my doors before I left so he couldn‘t come in unless I was there.  I did not return this call.  Saturday night I got another message:  "Uh, this is [his name].  I uh, I have your camp stuff and don‘t know if you don‘t want me in your house or what.  And I forgot that you padlocked the fence and gate, so I can‘t put it on your back porch.  I uh...give me a call and let me know where you want me to put your stuff.  I guess I could put it on your front step with a tarp over it.  Okay, bye."  (The statement about the tarp was clearly intended to ensure I would call him, as he knows I hate houses with trash and clutter in the front yard.)

I finally caved and called him.  He asked when I barricaded the doors.  I told him that I did it on Tuesday because I did not want him and his new girlfriend coming into my house while I was away.  He made a comment about how he was "tired of my antics", and that he had left a voice message on my home phone the night before to tell me that I could keep the boat and that he would be coming by.  I lied and told him that I didn‘t get the message because I hadn‘t been at my house since Tuesday evening.  He then said, "Oh, sh_t.  I left the message on your home phone.  Guess I should‘ve left one on your cell phone, too."  He quickly changed the subject and began small talk, quizzing me about how the fishing was going, if there were a lot of people at the lake, etc.  I stopped his line of chit-chat to tell him that I didn‘t think letting me keep the boat was a good idea, as it would only serve as a line of contact between us.  He didn‘t really like that idea much.  He then asked what I was "up to" at that moment, and I said, "not much."  I  asked what the "two" of them were doing (meaning he and his new girlfriend).  He sighed and replied, "I‘m on my way to mom and dad‘s house and then I‘m going home and to bed" (i.e., he was by himself on a Saturday night).

I am trying not to read too much into things, but, because of his nervousness and the tone of his voice, I believe he is attempting to "make up" with me.  I know that to do so wouldn‘t be an emotionally healthy decision, but right now I‘m not strong enough to turn him down.  Any advice?