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    WomanSavers.com Forum / ASK SANDRA BROWN, M.A., PSYCHOTHERAPIST, RELATIONSHIP COUNSELOR & AUTHOR / he‘s gone... now what?

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bohemimom
  Posted: 5/20/2008 8:24 AM Subject: he‘s gone... now what?
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Just received and email from my husband saying I‘m asking for too much and he‘s gone to live with his family in kentucky. I believe I may have posted my original story in the wrong forum. A couple of weeks ago, my husband left me and the children for Colorado by bus, spending a total of $400 of joint money. He returned for one week.

We talked about how I just did not want to go to Colorado, what with me being pregnant, and the sole driver in the family, and for what the medical system did to me and my child out there.

We talked about the budget, and reduced some expenditures in order to relieve the financial stress .

Everything seemed to be going alright. We made rent, which left me practically broke, and we were planning to expand our work from home so he wouldn‘t have to leave as often.

But then I receive an email from him saying I was pushing him away, asking for more and more, and he just couldn‘t handle it. HUH? He says he‘ll be depositing money in the joint account very month, but I‘m free to file papers. He says he‘s not coming back.

How could he do this to our children? Especially the unborn child? We both know what it‘s like growing up without a father... why would he inflict this pain on his own children?

I‘m at a loss as to what to do. I‘m in a house already, and the landlord is willing to take sec. 8 if it comes to that (I don‘t even know what this means- he just brought it up, and I just said "okay" like some big doofus...) I don‘t know where anything is on this side of town, and on the few walks that I‘ve taken, I‘ve never even seen a bus stop. The Human Services/Legal Services don‘t offer rides, and I‘m not sure what they could do anyway.

What do I do? My 3 yr old‘s sick and been calling for her dad. I haven‘t said anything to them yet- they‘re both pretty young and wouldn‘t understand. What do I say? When do I say it? I‘m just on autopilot right now, going through the kids‘ regular routine. Should I try to negotiiate with him, or what?

I feel so alone and terrified to talk to anyone because I just KNOW they‘ll blame me. I‘m afraid that I‘ll be seen as an unfit mother. I don‘t know what to do.



supermom21664
  Posted: 5/20/2008 6:16 PM Subject: he‘s gone... now what?
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I am so sorry that you are going through this. Can you call the Salvation Army and see if they can point you in the right direction as far as legal advice and possibly help for your children?

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