NEED ADVICE

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Kelley20

Posted: 5/12/2008 7:14 PM

Subject: NEED ADVICE

New WomanSaver
Female Member
Age: 25

Total Posts: 1
State College
Pennsylvania
United States
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So I have been dating my fiance for almost 8 years. We started dating at age 17 and did a long distance relationship throughout college and still currently. We have been engaged for almost 9 months. Here is my problem. Almost two years ago I found out he had cheated on me. Just about 6 months ago I found out he had cheated on my throughout much of our relationship. When I found out two years ago he cheated on me I told him he needed to get help and we did counseling together as well. Even in counseling he lied to me about ever cheating on me in the past until I found out 6 months ago. Alcohol played a major factor in him cheating and he needed to get help for that issue. Now I am nervous to marry him because he lied to me even when I gave him a second chance when we started working on things. He has done everything to show me he has changed and continues to get counseling but I am nervous because of his past. Also, it is hard to still trust him even though he hasn‘t given me any reason not to because of all the pain he caused me before. Can people truly change or is the saying once a cheating always a cheater true? Is this just too big to get over and truly trust him? I don‘t know if I should walk away incase I get hurt later on in our life.

sandrabrown

Posted: 5/13/2008 4:10 PM

Subject: NEED ADVICE

WomanSaver MoFo
Female Member
Age: 49

Total Posts: 519

Penrose
North Carolina
United States
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I wouldn‘t be moving ahead to marriage with these kinds of issues. Its to early to know if he can change or not. If you haven‘t read my book ‘How to Spot a Dangerous Man‘ it might clairfy for you ‘who can‘t change‘ and see if he‘s in that segment of those who are ‘hard wired‘ against change. In any event, there‘s too much history and you aren‘t over the hump of distrust yet so I wouldn‘t cancel the engagement but I woudln‘t set a date either. Stay in mutual counseling and see how he does and if he can manage his addiction. That in itself will say alot.

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