WomanSavers.com Forum / ASK SANDRA BROWN, M.A., PSYCHOTHERAPIST, RELATIONSHIP COUNSELOR & AUTHOR / Why does his sisters come before me?

I have been dating victor for 8 yrs now. He has 4 sisters 2 of which constantly call for stupid things (i.e. need a curtain rod put up, need something from the store, wants a pet but wants him to go pick it up, etc.) While I don‘t have an issue with him helping out his family this is getting out of control.

When we were looking for a place to live he chose one only because his sister liked the bottom apartment and chose to rent it...YIPPEE it has been so much fun having her live right beneath us.

I did approach him on the subject due to the fact if I need something done and he is off at home while I am at work he yells at me and tells me to do it myself. Yet they could be at home or at work and if they need something he jumps for them. It is not their actions I am pissed off at it is his. He got upset when I approached him about it and basically told me that if they need something he will do it he missed my point entirely and took it somewhere he should not have gone with it.

One of his sisters (the one that lives beneath us) is constantly asking questions about him - his likes his dislikes. We were out at a store and she wanted to know if he needed underwear WTF? she asked me if we use condoms and if so what kind, how are we preventing pregancy, her questions are way over the top for me.

This same sister has admitted to me that she loves to manipulate people.

Am I crazy? jealous? insane? Any advise here?

As far as our relationship goes he has told me that he does not want to get married, he has a problem with showing emotions (with me anyway - he has no issue showing them to his sisters) I have approached him on the subject of marriage but he tells me that he will never get married - yet he wants a child - and I refuse to have a child out of wedlock!

So, you‘ve been dating him for 8 years, he doesn‘t want to get married, he has trouble showing his emotions, and he is all enmeshed with his sisters.

WHY are you still with him? You & he don‘t want the same things, nor do you relate in the same ways. You won‘t be able to change him, and you‘d have to deal with the sisters until they die.

DTMFA and move on, girl!

UB

p.s. and please, Please, PLEASE don‘t get pregnant! You don‘t need to be tied to this man forever!