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| MomFirst |
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Posted: 4/13/2008 8:19 PM |
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Subject: Why is it taking me so long to recover from his adultery? |
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New WomanSaver
Female Member
Age: 61
Total Posts: 1
Tucson
Arizona
United States
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It‘s been over three years, and I‘m doing lots better, but I still can‘t forgive. We are still together. We were married for 36 years when I found out. Five grown children, and some grandchildren. Our marriage had deteriorated, it‘s true, but not for my lack of trying. He refused counseling throughout the marriage--saying "there was nothing wrong" with him. He met a female professor from France in his local hiking club. He announced to me that he was going to France to shack up with her for three weeks, and that we‘d deal with our marriage when he came back! I eventually discovered he‘d been cheating on me for at least 15 years with others. At first, I filed for divorce. But over time I saw what the adversarial divorce was doing to our children and their families. And the stress of dealing with the divorce on top of the discovery was just too much. So I capitulated and decided to try to reconcile. He‘s been very attentive and always reports on his whereabouts, but he‘s shown little remorse, continues to be defensive and blames me for his actions, and has always wanted to sweep his affairs under the rug, because, as he says, "Bringing up negative history doesn‘t help us move forward." I‘m very demoralized.
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| sandrabrown |
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Posted: 4/17/2008 3:23 PM |
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Subject: Why is it taking me so long to recover from his adultery? |
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WomanSaver MoFo
Female Member
Age: 49
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Total Posts: 519
Penrose
North Carolina
United States
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This is arrogance and narcissism at it‘s highest form. He doesn‘t get to make those calls! No wonder you can‘t move on. There‘s been no closure. Tell him YOU need couples counseling--show up, or pack up.
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