WomanSavers.com Forum / WOMEN'S ONLY FORUM / children

Hi there.  My name‘s Emily and this is my first time posting.  I‘m not really sure if I should even be here because my husband and I have been happily married for 7 years.  But I decided after reading about all of your lives, I‘d feel like a borderline stalker if I didn‘t share my own life with you.  I only hope I don‘t begin missing my pilates class - I‘m trying to stay healthy these days!  I‘m 35 years-old (but I usually pass for 29), and I live in New Jersey with my husband and our Jack Russell.  No kids yet but I think my husband will be ready soon ;)  Any advice you can give to help me move him along?

You may have to decide which you want to hang onto more: your husband or your dream of having children.  It is going to get more and more difficult for you to concieve a child.  Even if you look young, your body knows your real age (not that 35 is not young, but it‘s not young to be conceiving your first child.)  I have had several friends who stayed with men hoping against hope that the guy would eventually be ready.  More than one of the men never were ready and the women missed out on the chance for a child.  An opposing desire of this level is not easy on a relationship.  One woman left and is going to adopt on her own.  Another stayed and is very angry.  A couple of the men reluctantly relented and now their wives are going through in vitro, not very successfully, I‘m afraid.  It is very hard to make another adult decide that they want something.  If your husband is more receptive than your post seems to indicate, great.  However, I am guessing that since you went to all the trouble of coming to this board about this, he is not.  Don‘t take too long to figure this out.  Hopeless Dreamer is right, you just don‘t have a lot of time.

If I sound harsh I don‘t mean to.  I am someone who would really like to have had a family, and because of my poor choices in men, and the time I have wasted in the wrong relationships, my time for having a child by natural means has passed me by.  If that is something you really want, you may have to recognize that you and your husband may not have a future together.

I hope this works out for you.

Emily- You need to flat out ask him.  Those eggs you were born with are just as old as you are!  I am 38 with a 4 year old and let me tell you.........I‘m tired!  It‘s a little harder having a small one later rather than sooner.  Plus remember it‘s going to take a while to get pregnant anyway.  Just talk with him and let him know you‘re ready and getting concerned about the age thing.  Good luck and I hope you are blessed with a little angel soon!