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MESSAGE
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| Dr.WomanSaverM.D. |
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Posted: 4/4/2008 6:11 PM |
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Subject: Anonymous Question: Homosexuality -Am I gay? |
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WomanSaver MoFo
Female Member
Age: 100
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Total Posts: 541
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Dear Doctor.
After I separated from my husband I had a short thing with another woman. This is so unlike me because I Was hapilly married to my husband for 5 years, good sex life, but no kids neither of us was ready. i‘m 27. I know i married young right after college, and it was a mistake. Now for some reason I am attracted to women n i‘m wondrin if i could be a lesbian or bi or is it just a phase? i‘m not the manly type i‘m actually very feminine. I have always liked men and i would like to get married again to a man and have kids someday because i‘m also attracted to men but maybe the wrong type. :) Recently though i find women to be what i want.
I went to speak to my pastor and he told me that homosexuality was listed in the medical books as a disease like something wrong with the brain thinking functions that makes you messed up to be attracted to the same sex, so I should get help from a church counselor to heal myself because its also a sin according to god. I didn‘t understand the medical part he explained, but have you heard of such a disease wich makes someone gay? Now i‘m more confused.
Could you possibly shed some light on this topic like-
should i feel guilty that I experimented with a woman cuz it could mean i‘m gay?
is it wrong or not to be gay?
is it a disease or something wrong with a person?,
do you think i could possibly be gay or bi?
should i explore with women more or get back to men?
Sorry for all the questions. I‘m going threw a confusing time right now.
...A
Hi A,
You‘ve asked some really good questions. I‘m going to leave the religious aspect of things out of it because that‘s not my specialty. Whether this is wrong or right is for you to figure out based on your personal/religious beliefs. Homosexuality is still a pretty controversial topic. The more people you ask about it, the more the answers will vary, because everyone has their opinions about it. I‘ll answer your question strictly based on what we know about homosexuality from a medical standpoint.
should i feel guilty that I experimented with a woman cuz it could mean i‘m gay?
First of all, its completely normal to experiment with the same sex at a young age. Many people do it and it doesn‘t even mean you are gay or bisexual, but it is a possibility.
do you think i could possibly be gay or bi?
Personally I don‘t like all these ‘labels‘ but your sexuality is simply based on which gender you prefer to have sex with, not who you have had sex with in the past or what you look like -masculine or feminine, or anything else for that matter. For example if you are ONLY attracted to or prefer the same sex, you would be considered homosexual (even if you have had intercourse with the opposite sex or are married to the opposite sex currently). If you ONLY like the opposite sex, you would be considered heterosexual (even if you have experimented with the same sex in the past). If you prefer BOTH sexes EQUALLY, with no preference for one more than the other, you would be considered bisexual.
Life is not always this clear cut though, and you may feel you are somewhere in the middle of these simple classifications. The Kinsey Scale, developed in the late 40‘s is a spectrum ranging from 0-6 which lists different degrees of sexuality:
0- Exclusively heterosexual with no homosexual
1- Predominantly heterosexual, only incidentally homosexual
2- Predominantly heterosexual, but more than incidentally homosexual
3- Equally heterosexual and homosexual
4- Predominantly homosexual, but more than incidentally heterosexual
5- Predominantly homosexual, only incidentally heterosexual
6- Exclusively homosexual
You can read more about the Kinsey Scale here:
(http://www.kinseyinstitute.org/resources/ak-hhscale.html)
is it a disease or something wrong with a person?
No, not at all. Being homosexual is NOT a disease or pathological state in any way, physically or mentally. It is considered normal. There is nothing wrong with the person so there is nothing to "heal". I believe your pastor‘s job is to guide you spiritually, but he misspoke when he referred to homosexuality as a disease. Actually looking back just about 20 years ago, prior to the 80‘s homosexuality was listed in the DSM (the main psychiatric textbook) as a disorder. It has now been removed and corrected as being a variant of normal.
should i explore with women more or get back to men?
This is something you need to decide for yourself depending on what feels right. There is no wrong or right answer.
I hope this helps to answer your questions.
Dr.WomanSaver
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