| AUTHOR |
MESSAGE
|
| Dr.WomanSaverM.D. |
 |
|
Posted: 2/19/2008 7:39 PM |
 |
Subject: Anonymous Question: My daughter‘s real father is back -what to do? |
|
|
|
WomanSaver MoFo
Female Member
Age: 100
.gif)
Total Posts: 553
Doctor's Office
Costa Rica
offline
Invite To Chat Room
 Send Note
|
Dr. WS,
I have a 14 year old daughter. we live together with her stepfather and he has raised her since she was two years old. Her stepfather is the only father she has known and they have a great relationship and get along fine for the most part. No problems, just the usual teenage rebellious stuff. I have another child (5 years old) with her stepfather. Her biological father has recently gotten out of jail after 12 years and wants visitations and parental rights. He is not dangerous so that is not my concern. My question is how much should I tell her about her real dad (the biological father)? And what should I say so it isn‘t a shock to her? She is a good kid, well behaved, and disciplined, gets good grades in school, --but she can be a bit of a drama queen at times and I‘m scared about how she might react.
thanks.
Hi.
Well this is a tough situation and I can‘t promise that your daughter won‘t be shocked to hear the news, since this is quite a lot of information to process at once. While teenagers can be a bit dramatic, the good news is that she is now old enough to understand and come to terms with this type of situation.
My advice would be to talk about it and tell her the truth. Start with how you met her father, what he is like, your relationship with him, what occurred that lead to your break-up, his incarceration, and what the future could be like knowing him and having him in your family life. Keep it as simple, clear, and non-judgmental as possible. And finally be there for her to answer any questions or concerns she may have, and be open to hearing her opinions and ideas about what she wants as well.
Good luck. Keep me posted on how it goes.
I hope others with advice or experience on this will post here also.
Dr.WS
|