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| K.Schram |
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Posted: 2/24/2010 7:17 PM |
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Subject: Don‘t you just hate it when your intuition is correct? |
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New WomanSaver
Female Member
Age: 22
Total Posts: 3
Victorville
California
United States
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I knew my Husband had cheated when I came out to visit my Mom in the last month of my pregnancy.
We were recovering from his countless other affairs, and trying to fix the marriage -again-.
He suddenly became distant, and wouldn‘t pick up his phone.
He wasn‘t there for the birth of our son, because he was ‘too busy with school‘ out of state.
He wasn‘t there for the first three months of his life either, because I broke it off with him two days after I got home from the hospital.
Eventually he started calling to check in on his kids, and scheduled a visit to come meet his son.
So, he came down, and we hit it off again. He promised to change, and that he‘d never lie to me again.
My son is ten months old today, my kids dragged some stuff out of a box, and I found a cell phone I‘d never seen before.
So, I charged it, and let curiosity get the best of me.
Turns out, I was right -unfortunately-, and he didn‘t just have a fling with some girl back ‘home‘... He had a full out relationship.
While he was out drinking and spoiling some girl who probably had no idea he was married and had kids...
I was taking care of two babies by myself, struggling to support them, because he couldn‘t be bothered to help pay for them, let alone call to see if they were doing okay.
He‘s begging me to not leave him.
But the thing is, when I called him to confront him, I told him straight up that I had hard evidence of his philandering ways, and that I would forgive him if he was honest about this mystery woman named Kristina E.
Not only did he act like he was innocent, he acted stupid, and even dared to say that the phone was not his.
I find it funny that he‘s writing me saying "Please, don‘t do anything rash, or destroy our family"... When he‘s the one who wasn‘t even there for us, and would have rather been having sex with random girls, then be there in his sons life.
Ugh. I‘m just irritated.
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| learning |
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Posted: 2/24/2010 11:09 PM |
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Subject: Don‘t you just hate it when your intuition is correct? |
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WomanSaver MoFo
Female Member
Age: 4
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Total Posts: 443
Around the Corner
Nebraska
United States
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Hi, K. Sorry to hear this. And, yes, I was none too pleased to find out my intuition was spot on. It‘s extremely frustrating when all you want is the decency to be told the truth.
Cheaters don‘t fess up to what they did. IMO, even the rare ones that do fess up just turn it around on the ones they‘ve cheated on and somehow try to make it the cheatees fault.
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| bubblecropper |
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Posted: 2/25/2010 5:57 AM |
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Subject: Don‘t you just hate it when your intuition is correct? |
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WomanSaver MoFo
Female Member
Age: 32
Total Posts: 1667
dublin
Ireland
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| K.Schram wrote: |
I knew my Husband had cheated when I came out to visit my Mom in the last month of my pregnancy.
We were recovering from his countless other affairs, and trying to fix the marriage -again-.
He suddenly became distant, and wouldn‘t pick up his phone.
He wasn‘t there for the birth of our son, because he was ‘too busy with school‘ out of state.
He wasn‘t there for the first three months of his life either, because I broke it off with him two days after I got home from the hospital.
Eventually he started calling to check in on his kids, and scheduled a visit to come meet his son.
So, he came down, and we hit it off again. He promised to change, and that he‘d never lie to me again.
My son is ten months old today, my kids dragged some stuff out of a box, and I found a cell phone I‘d never seen before.
So, I charged it, and let curiosity get the best of me.
Turns out, I was right -unfortunately-, and he didn‘t just have a fling with some girl back ‘home‘... He had a full out relationship.
While he was out drinking and spoiling some girl who probably had no idea he was married and had kids...
I was taking care of two babies by myself, struggling to support them, because he couldn‘t be bothered to help pay for them, let alone call to see if they were doing okay.
He‘s begging me to not leave him.
But the thing is, when I called him to confront him, I told him straight up that I had hard evidence of his philandering ways, and that I would forgive him if he was honest about this mystery woman named Kristina E.
Not only did he act like he was innocent, he acted stupid, and even dared to say that the phone was not his.
I find it funny that he‘s writing me saying "Please, don‘t do anything rash, or destroy our family"... When he‘s the one who wasn‘t even there for us, and would have rather been having sex with random girls, then be there in his sons life.
Ugh. I‘m just irritated.
>: /
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I know you are not stupid enough to believe you are destroying your family by leaving.
He‘s destroyed your family by cheating.
YOU will destroy yourself if you stay. Whats better for the kids? A happy mum or an unhappy mum? You are their world...remember that.
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| Sunny fl |
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Posted: 2/25/2010 12:36 PM |
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Subject: Don‘t you just hate it when your intuition is correct? |
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WomanSaver MoFo
Female Member
Age: 40
Total Posts: 5643
sunshine and daisies
Wyoming
United States
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I am so sorry for you pain,
It has been my experience that a person that will not fess up to the truth is still cheating, he is a cake eater.
She may know about you, she may not.
Dial the number and find out! Get your answers from her.
If I was in your situation, I would say goodbye to him, Screw me once, shame on you. screw me twice, shame on me! Don‘t let him hurt you anymore!
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| Moogleangelgirl |
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Posted: 2/25/2010 5:38 PM |
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Subject: Don‘t you just hate it when your intuition is correct? |
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WomanSaver MoFo
Female Member
Age: 33
Total Posts: 431
Where I live
Texas
United States
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| sunny fl wrote: | |
I am so sorry for you pain, It has been my experience that a person that will not fess up to the truth is still cheating, he is a cake eater. She may know about you, she may not. Dial the number and find out! Get your answers from her. If I was in your situation, I would say goodbye to him, Screw me once, shame on you. screw me twice, shame on me! Don‘t let him hurt you anymore!
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I agree with sunny, Call the number and tell her who you are. If she knew about you, she might deny everything, afraid to get an a$$ whipping. (not that I agree with violence at all but this might cross her mind) She might even pretend that she doesn‘t know whose phone this is. You might get NO answers... but then again you might get them all. Good luck to you.
Oh and btw yeah, how dare he suggest you destroying the family by leaving. What a jerk.
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| K.Schram |
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Posted: 2/25/2010 5:49 PM |
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Subject: Don‘t you just hate it when your intuition is correct? |
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New WomanSaver
Female Member
Age: 22
Total Posts: 3
Victorville
California
United States
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I tried calling the phone yesterday, but the number is no longer valid.
I know that she‘s now working at Fort Bragg.
All I know about her is her first name, and last name initial.
He wont tell me anything about her, other than she was in his old unit. (He‘s military).
I‘ve decided to stay with my Mom for a few days to clear my head before I make any drastic decisions.
Thanks everyone for the kind replies.
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| Moogleangelgirl |
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Posted: 2/25/2010 6:19 PM |
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Subject: Don‘t you just hate it when your intuition is correct? |
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WomanSaver MoFo
Female Member
Age: 33
Total Posts: 431
Where I live
Texas
United States
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| K.Schram wrote: |
I tried calling the phone yesterday, but the number is no longer valid.
I know that she‘s now working at Fort Bragg.
All I know about her is her first name, and last name initial.
He wont tell me anything about her, other than she was in his old unit. (He‘s military).
I‘ve decided to stay with my Mom for a few days to clear my head before I make any drastic decisions.
Thanks everyone for the kind replies.
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Good luck sweetie, and . We‘ll be here for you.
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| Sunny fl |
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Posted: 2/25/2010 9:38 PM |
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Subject: Don‘t you just hate it when your intuition is correct? |
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WomanSaver MoFo
Female Member
Age: 40
Total Posts: 5643
sunshine and daisies
Wyoming
United States
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| K.Schram wrote: | I tried calling the phone yesterday, but the number is no longer valid.
I know that she‘s now working at Fort Bragg.
All I know about her is her first name, and last name initial.
He wont tell me anything about her, other than she was in his old unit. (He‘s military).
I‘ve decided to stay with my Mom for a few days to clear my head before I make any drastic decisions.
Thanks everyone for the kind replies.
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You may need more then a few days, don‘t force your decision. Good luck to you!!
Military he is stupid, if you divorce him they will make sure you get the child support you need!
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| nstevens |
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Posted: 2/26/2010 8:37 AM |
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Subject: Don‘t you just hate it when your intuition is correct? |
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WomanSaver MoFo
Female Member
Age: 38
Total Posts: 1327
El Paso
Texas
United States
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| K.Schram wrote: |
I tried calling the phone yesterday, but the number is no longer valid.
I know that she‘s now working at Fort Bragg.
All I know about her is her first name, and last name initial.
He wont tell me anything about her, other than she was in his old unit. (He‘s military).
I‘ve decided to stay with my Mom for a few days to clear my head before I make any drastic decisions.
Thanks everyone for the kind replies.
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I am sorry for your pain.
This other woman had to know he was married if they where in the same unit . If there where messages on the phone where the two of them sending messages back and forth ,I hope you still have the phone and didn‘t let him have it back.
The military would love to see what they where saying to each other .
I lived at Fort Bragg the only thing good about that place was we had a big place to live in with a lot of room.
I hope you know you can call and talk to someone 24 hours a day by calling one source there number is 1-800-342-9647 or you can go on line .
Just so you know if you show them that he has cheated on you he could lose rake , which means he losses money and may even get more time added on to his time in the service.I don‘t think this is far because why should the spouse loss money that they need.I think that money they loss in rank should go right to the spouse for all the pain they are going threw and will go threw and help take care of child or children if there are any in the home,even if they stay together in case things don‘t work out ,it is there for them to have at a later date,beside what they get once one leaves.
If you need to talk send me a message .
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| K.Schram |
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Posted: 2/26/2010 12:03 PM |
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Subject: Don‘t you just hate it when your intuition is correct? |
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New WomanSaver
Female Member
Age: 22
Total Posts: 3
Victorville
California
United States
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Yeah. Unfortunately his last unit was not very helpful to me.
I called his S1 and talked to his higher ups on the phone the first time he cheated on me, and they pretty much told me that they couldn‘t do anything for me.
They said they‘d send me his information -when I proved I was his spouse by giving my information-, and they never emailed it to me.
He told me later on that his higher up basically called him and told him that I was inquiring about him, and that they wouldn‘t do anything to help me.
It really sucked because I wanted to serve him divorce paper work, and child support paper work back then, and they wouldn‘t even have kept him on post so that he could be served.
Needless to say, very useless unit.
He has a way of charming everyone into thinking that he never does any wrong, or if he cheats, its because I‘m an awful , terrible person, and that he has no blame in the situation.
He also liked to tell the girls that we were separated, or that I was living out of country.
I do agree that they should send the loss of pay directly to the spouse though, because as soon as he found out I knew about the first affair, he started making preparations to lock me out of our joint account.
Fortunately, I was a few steps ahead, and I made sure to withdraw enough to be able to support my child and myself.
Army life isn‘t always very good for the spouse. I know of plenty of situations where units didn‘t do anything to stop their soldiers from cheating, and even went so far as to help cover it up. Its really sad, but its one of the realities.
He managed to get the phone yesterday, and threw it away. He thinks I‘m awfully dumb though, because he didn‘t consider that I‘d already sent the texts to my own cell phone.
I did the same with all the incriminating emails from his past affairs, as well as keeping the emails I‘ve recieved from his past mistresses.
When it comes down to whether I need these things in court or not, I‘ll be well prepared.
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| Sunny fl |
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Posted: 3/2/2010 10:30 AM |
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Subject: Don‘t you just hate it when your intuition is correct? |
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WomanSaver MoFo
Female Member
Age: 40
Total Posts: 5643
sunshine and daisies
Wyoming
United States
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I spoke with my Boyfriend about this last night. He is retired army.
He said that if they know that they are having an affair, they can and will get in tons of trouble.
Depending on there rank and career field, they can lose money (rank) or be discharged. Careful, you don‘t want to bite the hand that feeds you, the more he makes the more child support you can get and alimoney, depending on the length of your marriage, you can get half of his retirement.
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