WomanSavers.com Forum / CATCH A CHEATER / PLEASE HELP

I need advise.

iv been married for 4 months now. And my husband has cheated on me 22 times in the past 3 years. Now, I thought it was all over but im not sure now.

Last night I woke up and turned towards my husband while he was on the computer at 4 in the morning, he didnt notice I was awake. But he was on facebook writing some chick. I didnt think to much of it, cuz im trying to trust him and all...but I kinda layed there for a while and watched him....he was scoping the internet for naked chicks. I thought it was kinda weird. But boys are boys. But when I sat up to ask what he was doing, he closed out of facebook REALLY fast. And i dont really care if hes looking at naked actresses..I just thought it was a little weird about the whole facebook thing. And the fact that he was on the internet at 4 in the morning.

But what I really need advise about...

okay I‘ve been suspecting my husband of cheating the last few months.. he recently confessed to flirting with girls at his work.. and his behavior has been kinda off. And I know this sounds bad, but im falling in love with someone else. I havnt done (anything) with this person. But just being around him makes me feel gulty enough. And well...i love my husband...but i hate him for all the pain hes caused. and im really scared that the past will repeat itself (or maybe it already has) im not sure.

But tonight im having a Good Bye party for my best friend whos in the army. And this man im falling for is gonna be there. I wanna tell him how I feel but im scared. honnestly...I dont know what to do. someone help.

22 times??

Whole SH#T

No way in hell would I ever trust him!!!

Get out now  before he gives you a STD!  If you are really 18  you have way to much life to live to put up with this loser!! 

Sorry I don‘t fall for the boys will be boys.  I like MEN  that don‘t need that crap.

Hi my name is Halina, i‘m 18 i‘v been with my man for almost 4 years now, and I just got married sep, 21 09. Me and my husband have had problems in the past, he cheated on me 22 diffrent times with both men and woman. And he ended up "giving" me something from a prositute.(even tho it was cured) its still heartbreaking. We got married 2 years after i found out..so everything was kind of blown over. But a 3 weeks after we got married he told me about this girl at his work he has been flurting with (I tricked him into telling me). So now its a bit confusing, i feel like the past might repeat itself very soon. He has 4 email addresses right now, and he only checks them when im sleeping. I‘m trying to trust him and not think of it as anything. but im not sure.

This was your original post from about a week and a half ago.  For some reason, it‘s now in the Crime Prevention section.

At first, you‘re trying to trust your husband.  Now you‘re trying to figure out if you should go for a new guy.  

Thank you, all of you.

your right, I am married and it is wrong.

This morning I was looking threw the history on my computer and I found a link that went to a one on one cybersex site, still logged in. and the name of the girl was the same name of the girl on facebook. idk.

And so im done with him. no tears

Kahlan wrote:

Big hugs to you! You‘re definitely taking a step in the right direction. Only you can tell whether this decision is the right one for you or not, but you‘re at least standing up for yourself and showing to this philandering idiot that you‘re a woman who will not put up with any more dishonesty. Baby steps. Start by setting a goal on when you‘ll be leaving. Detach yourself from this man emotionally. When you leave, it will be with your head held high and trust me, this will be so liberating in the long run. I was engaged and I left, but it took me several years longer than what it should take me, to eventually get it through my thick head that people don‘t change - and if they do, it‘s always for the worst. I spent so many years trying to rediscover the man who had fallen in love with  me, the one madly trying to prove his undying devotion, so crudely replaced by an emotionally abusive narcissist who instead of loving me, seeked to possess me. You know what I found out, Halina babe? That the real man was the narcissist, not the fake persona I saw at the beginning of the relationship. And I lost the bigger part of my twenties working on this failed relationship. Peace to you! Please keep posting and let us know of what happens!

Kahlan, This rings home so true.  Thanks for the great advice you give on the boards. Your redefinition of what it is like being with a narcissist helps to see the truth for what it is.

Ditto on what Kahlan said girl!  See if you can get an anullment.