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| mocca2010 |
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Posted: 1/11/2010 5:10 PM |
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Subject: He‘s Cheating |
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New WomanSaver
Female Member
Age: 25
Total Posts: 3
new york
New York
United States
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Without warning, my husband of 5 years asked me for a divorce. We don‘t really have blow out arguments and we don‘t hit on each other. I feel so stupid because I put everything into our relationship and now that he wants out..I feel like I have nothing. Is it worth trying to do counseling with someone that doesn‘t seem like they even care anymore?
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| uberbeotch |
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Posted: 1/12/2010 12:38 PM |
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Subject: He‘s Cheating |
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WomanSaver MoFo
Female Member
Age: 489
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Total Posts: 1272
In a Dark Castle
Belarus
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Your title was "he‘s cheating" but you didn‘t mention anything else about it.
He thinks he wants out, and if he‘s cheating, then he has the affair to distract him. I‘ve heard that the affair says more about the PRIMARY relationship (meaning - you & he) than about the people in the affair (he & she).
You can‘t force someone to want to be with you. You can ask him to go to counseling, but if he already has it set in his mind that he‘s done with you, it probaby won‘t do any good.
You could try a trial separation. Kick his ass out. Maybe he‘ll see what he‘s missing.....or else he‘ll have more time to spend with her.
How old is he? Maybe you married too young and you have both changed in the last 5 years? I married my high school sweetheart, at 23 y.o., and by the time I hit my late 20‘s, I was very different & knew I‘d made a mistake. It took me another 5 years to get out. If I could go back in time, I never would have married him.
In any case, some counseling for YOU would probably be beneficial. There might be some free or low-cost support groups near you. You can‘t make him do anything, but you can seek help for yourself.
Something to think about...something that took me many, MANY years & many heartaches to figure out: never make a man or a relationship your highest priority.
Good luck,
UB
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| icannotcarewhy |
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Posted: 1/18/2010 6:59 PM |
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Subject: He‘s Cheating |
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New WomanSaver
Female Member
Age: 36
Total Posts: 6
moving, not sure
California
United States
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That really sucks that this is happening. No real info on how you found he‘s cheating etc....but if you have the proof, and he says he wants out, this is a hard one. For all of us here, we need to be nice to each other if we are the ones being stepped on by these cheaters. Making a decision is not always easy, its like do we wait for them to wake up, etc. only you know all of your history with your husband. Leaving someone that has hurt us is NOT easy and whether you leave now or try is up to you, and that part too sucks. Cause you alone have to make the choice - stay and pray things improve or look at facts (and if they‘re bad enough) and jump ship for your own self. I feel for you, truly. Also if you have close family or friends, they can see what you cannot see or at least a different perspective. Just know you are not alone....and remember anything "fling, relationship" that starts out wrong, like on a lie will never work out. So don‘t be hard on yourself, he chose his actions, not you.
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