Hey there,
New here and wanted to share my story. Was married for 12 years and never thought in a million years that (now ex husband) would ever do this to me. He is the quiet, introvert who is not very social, not a pretty boy etc,(like some of his friends.)
Ex was in truck repair industry where he works mostly afternoon and night shifts and always worked weekends.
I work full time and take care of DD. So I never was the type to keep track of him and what times he works, gets home, days off, etc. I don‘t think like this so I was not suspicious.
It all starts when one day (now ex) gets a new cell phone, he goes off to work for the night. As I am getting ready for bed, I hear a noise, I follow it upstairs to the spare bedroom only to discover the old cell phone plugged in to the charger with the alarm going off. I look strangely at this wondering why he would plug it in as it is of no use since there is no service. I flip it open to turn the alarm off and notice the history that is open. I don‘t think anything of it, wondering why he would have any need to charge it, I start flipping through it, the address book pops up, and there is a woman‘s name in it (Sue) whom I know nothing about. Look though and see other men‘s name‘s I don‘t know, think nothing of it. Later, I flip open the address book and do a reverse number search on this Sue, thinking it could be a co- worker, (knowing he only works in a garage with all men.) The address shows up as someone about 10 minutes away.
For some reason, I knew in my gut there was more to this person. I try to sleep, but for some reason I know something is not right. I wait for him to come in , since I can‘t sleep anyway and it is 3:30am. I wait at the top of the stairs and he almost has a heart attack when he sees me standing there. At that moment I felt the urge to push him backwards down the stairs, just from the look on his face. He is shocked and says, "What‘s up?" (he seemed nervous)
I said to him, "You tell me" He looks like he had seen a ghost at this point and for some reason I knew there is more to this.
I ask him if there is something I should know and he makes it seem like I‘m crazy. I ask about Sue, he says she is someone from the bank he talked to about some rental income businesss we were looking into. I asked him why she would give him her home number regarding business and I don‘t get a staright answer. All he says is he would never have something to do with a fat pig of a woman, it‘s nothing.
I can not sleep all night due to nerves, the next day I had to call in sick (due to not a minute sleep and my head is pounding) He gets up in the morning and had to rush out to a Doctor‘s apppointment. I ask him either he tells me what is going on or I will call this woman to ask her, he thought I would never do this as I have never behaved like this ever, (Up to this point I never believed I needed to )
After he leaves, my mind is racing, all of a sudden it dawns on me about the cell phone plan we share, I pulled out some bills and notice her number regularly called around 3am (when he gets off work). By this time I know my gut was right but had to confirm. I call this woman and she acts like she does not know what I am talking about, doesn`t know husbands name, etc. Then as a woman, I used my trump card, and said, that`s okay he said he would not have anything to do with a fat cow like her. All of a sudden she let loose and told me everything. How she met his friend first at a bar, then she met ex. They started a booty call type relationship, he called her after he finished work in the am and would stop over. She knew he was married and was okay with it.
Well I wait for ex to get back from the Doctor`s and he tried not to be nervous. I approach him with what I know and he said it was nothing. At that point, (I am not a violent person) all I am thinking of is where my father`s gun is locked up and where the bullets are and getting the keys to my parent`s house) As soon as I was thinking this I start hyperventilating as I can`t believe I would even have such thoughts. I honestly thought now I know how domestic violence becomes reality, it was like an out of body experience!
Sorry this is so long, just wanted to give you the whole story, we separated and I was relieved to be free from a cheater of a husband. I found out later, she was not his first person he cheated with. It gave me all the more power to leave and cut all my losses, (and boy was there a lot of financial losses I had to take )
I`m so happy I discovered this when I did and had the stength to move on. Just remember, independence is strength, Hope this can inspire other`s out there putting up with things they don`t need to.