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| coolchick1102 |
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Posted: 11/6/2009 11:37 PM |
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Subject: should i look past this? |
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New WomanSaver
Female Member
Age: 27
Total Posts: 4
Indianapolis
Indiana
United States
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My guy and I had been dating for only 2 months before we had to do 4 months long distance while he was away for the summer. Our relationship was intense and moved very fast, and we decided to stay together during the distance and look forward to his return. While he was away, we decided that we would move in together when he returned. I spent countless hours and money finding a great place for us, and I relocated to his city which is 45 minutes from mine. When he returned home, I could tell something was very wrong. He kept telling me he was stressed, but not ready to talk about it yet. I couldn‘t stand it anymore and went through his phone. I found text messages to another woman that showed they must be in some kind of relationship. I confronted him and he denied it, and turned it on me for looking through his phone (yes, I realize that really isn‘t ok to do.) I still didn‘t believe him, so I looked at his email when he left it open one evening. I read many emails and chats between them. They were clearly together over the summer, she had fallen in love with him, and he was now ignoring her and she was upset. I confronted him again, but did not tell him I read the emails. He admitted to cheating on me with her. After much discussion and difficult times, we decided to work through it. About 2 weeks ago, she asked him to call her, and he did. He told me it was for closure and she just wanted an explaination. Our cell phones are on the same plan, so week or so ago I looked up the records. They have been texting ALL the time and they talk on the phone when I‘m not home. I also googled another number that had been texted often, and it seems as though he met and got a woman‘s number while he was out of town last weekend, and they have continued to stay in touch. Neither of these women live in our town, so he is not physically cheating. I know that he is very insecure, and was starved for love most of his life, so when people show him love, he eats it up. He doesn‘t know that I know he is still talking with this woman, or to the new one. For all I know, it could be innocent and they are being friends. It‘s tough to look at his phone - we have IPhones and he always knows exactly what screen was left up....and he keeps it by his side 24/7 basically. I even saw on the records that last night when I fell asleep on the couch, he was texting the woman he cheated on me with for almost an hour as I was sleeping next to him. He says that he loves me, and wants to be with me very long term. Should I get over it and just assume he is having a friendship with this woman, and possibly a little harmless flirting with this woman he met the other weekend?
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| bifemale |
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Posted: 11/7/2009 12:37 AM |
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Subject: should i look past this? |
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WomanSaver Lurker
Female Member
Age: 1
Total Posts: 20
los angeles
California
United States
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you should move on.He will not change .If you confront him of what you found he will deny it and become sneaker and hide it from you ,and put the blame on you.you have all the prof you need. to leave.Listen to your gut it never lies.
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| learning |
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Posted: 11/7/2009 10:41 AM |
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Subject: should i look past this? |
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WomanSaver Addict
Female Member
Age: 4
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Total Posts: 297
Around the Corner
Nebraska
United States
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| coolchick1102 wrote: | | My guy and I had been dating for only 2 months before we had to do 4 months long distance while he was away for the summer. Our relationship was intense and moved very fast, and we decided to stay together during the distance and look forward to his return. While he was away, we decided that we would move in together when he returned. I spent countless hours and money finding a great place for us, and I relocated to his city which is 45 minutes from mine. When he returned home, I could tell something was very wrong. He kept telling me he was stressed, but not ready to talk about it yet. I couldn‘t stand it anymore and went through his phone. I found text messages to another woman that showed they must be in some kind of relationship. I confronted him and he denied it, and turned it on me for looking through his phone (yes, I realize that really isn‘t ok to do.) I still didn‘t believe him, so I looked at his email when he left it open one evening. I read many emails and chats between them. They were clearly together over the summer, she had fallen in love with him, and he was now ignoring her and she was upset. I confronted him again, but did not tell him I read the emails. He admitted to cheating on me with her. After much discussion and difficult times, we decided to work through it. About 2 weeks ago, she asked him to call her, and he did. He told me it was for closure and she just wanted an explaination. Our cell phones are on the same plan, so week or so ago I looked up the records. They have been texting ALL the time and they talk on the phone when I‘m not home. I also googled another number that had been texted often, and it seems as though he met and got a woman‘s number while he was out of town last weekend, and they have continued to stay in touch. Neither of these women live in our town, so he is not physically cheating. I know that he is very insecure, and was starved for love most of his life, so when people show him love, he eats it up. He doesn‘t know that I know he is still talking with this woman, or to the new one. For all I know, it could be innocent and they are being friends. It‘s tough to look at his phone - we have IPhones and he always knows exactly what screen was left up....and he keeps it by his side 24/7 basically. I even saw on the records that last night when I fell asleep on the couch, he was texting the woman he cheated on me with for almost an hour as I was sleeping next to him. He says that he loves me, and wants to be with me very long term. Should I get over it and just assume he is having a friendship with this woman, and possibly a little harmless flirting with this woman he met the other weekend? |
I wouldn‘t consider what he‘s doing harmless. I could accept them having a closure convo, but the contact still continues. There‘s definitely something going on there. To boot, he just got another woman‘s number last weekend. He‘s not love starved. He‘s a cheater. If it were me, I‘d move on, leave him.
In your post I spotted three red flags, which are: your r‘ship started very quickly, he denied and turned things around on you when confronted, and he keeps his phone by his side 24/7.
Don‘t make any excuses for his behavior. You know what he‘s up to....so does he. Had you not caught him, I dare say he wouldn‘t have confessed at all. Think about that.
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