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MESSAGE
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| mochamo |
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Posted: 10/24/2009 9:55 PM |
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Subject: Porn |
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WomanSaver Lurker
Female Member
Age: 38
Total Posts: 12
arvada
Colorado
United States
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Isn‘t porn the same as cheating? My husband has been watching porn almost everynight and hasn‘t touched me.
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| CaliforniaGirl |
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Posted: 10/25/2009 7:21 AM |
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Subject: Porn |
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WomanSaver MoFo
Female Member
Age: 3
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Total Posts: 1715
Women and Cats
California
United States
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Is this something new or has he always watched porn everynight?
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| shally |
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Posted: 10/26/2009 5:53 AM |
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Subject: Porn |
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WomanSaver MoFo
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Age: 3
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To some women it is. The pain from feeling unloved and unwanted I‘m guessing is the same.
Your h has chosen rather than dealing with a real live breathing woman, one that is going to expect some emotional attachment, he‘d rather use a visual that won‘t expect a damn thing from him. He gets his satisfaction and then with the click of a button shuts her up.
As cali asked. How long has this been going on?
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| mochamo |
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Posted: 10/26/2009 7:09 PM |
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Subject: Porn |
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WomanSaver Lurker
Female Member
Age: 38
Total Posts: 12
arvada
Colorado
United States
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he has been in the past but lately it‘s been worse. Now the problem is this stupid little "christian" girl at work. He has a subtle crush on her and he says they are friends. He accuses me of being jealous and is thinking of leaving me because he says he can‘t have any friends without me being jealous. He confides in this stupid brace face little girl and then turns it on me that I‘m the jealous one. He asked me to stop talking to one of my best friends from High-school that I have known for 20yrs, and I‘m thinking about talking to my friend again. I‘m so confused and yet I feel in some way that it is my fault.
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| shally |
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Posted: 10/28/2009 5:54 AM |
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Subject: Porn |
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WomanSaver MoFo
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Age: 3
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| mochamo wrote: | |
he has been in the past but lately it‘s been worse. Now the problem is this stupid little "christian" girl at work. He has a subtle crush on her and he says they are friends. He accuses me of being jealous and is thinking of leaving me because he says he can‘t have any friends without me being jealous. He confides in this stupid brace face little girl and then turns it on me that I‘m the jealous one. He asked me to stop talking to one of my best friends from High-school that I have known for 20yrs, and I‘m thinking about talking to my friend again. I‘m so confused and yet I feel in some way that it is my fault.
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Well get THAT thought right out of your head. Especially since it is exactly how he wants you to feel, otherwise he‘d have to face the fact of what he‘s doing is wrong.
When he says he doesn‘t want you having guy friends he‘s just projecting his guilt.
How long have you been married? So in your opinion when did the problems start?
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| mochamo |
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Posted: 10/28/2009 1:10 PM |
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Subject: Porn |
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WomanSaver Lurker
Female Member
Age: 38
Total Posts: 12
arvada
Colorado
United States
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I‘ve known "C" for about 6 years and have been dating for 4, then we got married in June(he has threatened to divorce me 3 times since), I was in an abusive marriage for a year and a half, before I married "C" and he knew it because we used to work together and we would just talk in passing, after being divorced for 2yrs we started dating, and I also have a little boy from my previous marriage. I‘ve told him numerous times that I don‘t mind if he has female friends but when he sneaks that friendship from me, that is when I have a problem and there is something else that is going on, they send humerous text to eachother (and sometimes they are vulgar) that he doesn‘t share with me, and yet his excuse is that I get jealous, I‘m not stupid and I know that he has a crush on this girl and she knows he does also. My parents moved in because they lost their jobs & home and he has made life hell for them, he has called them fat and lazy, accused them of stealing, cursed at my Mother and gave me an ultimatum last week, that it was either him or my parents if they are not out by January. They don‘t have anywhere to go yet, they‘ve reluctantly requested to be on food stamps and are on a waiting list for section 8. They feel ashamed as it is and "C" is just not being gracious about this. I finally made an appt to seek therapy because "C" told me that I need help for my jealousy, I‘m actually going because I want to be strong for my son and need to relearn to find my strength again before my previous marriage and this marriage now. Sorry for unloading all of this on you, I really should not had.
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| learning |
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Posted: 10/29/2009 5:39 PM |
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Subject: Porn |
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WomanSaver MoFo
Female Member
Age: 4
Total Posts: 359
Around the Corner
Nebraska
United States
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| mochamo wrote: |
| I‘ve known "C" for about 6 years and have been dating for 4, then we got married in June(he has threatened to divorce me 3 times since), I was in an abusive marriage for a year and a half, before I married "C" and he knew it because we used to work together and we would just talk in passing, after being divorced for 2yrs we started dating, and I also have a little boy from my previous marriage. I‘ve told him numerous times that I don‘t mind if he has female friends but when he sneaks that friendship from me, that is when I have a problem and there is something else that is going on, they send humerous text to eachother (and sometimes they are vulgar) that he doesn‘t share with me, and yet his excuse is that I get jealous, I‘m not stupid and I know that he has a crush on this girl and she knows he does also. My parents moved in because they lost their jobs & home and he has made life hell for them, he has called them fat and lazy, accused them of stealing, cursed at my Mother and gave me an ultimatum last week, that it was either him or my parents if they are not out by January. They don‘t have anywhere to go yet, they‘ve reluctantly requested to be on food stamps and are on a waiting list for section 8. They feel ashamed as it is and "C" is just not being gracious about this. I finally made an appt to seek therapy because "C" told me that I need help for my jealousy, I‘m actually going because I want to be strong for my son and need to relearn to find my strength again before my previous marriage and this marriage now. Sorry for unloading all of this on you, I really should not had. |
Please don‘t be sorry for "unloading." It‘s healthier to do that than hold it in. Besides, it‘s what we‘re here for. So you "unload" all you want. We‘ll do our best to help.
I cannot believe this guy talks to you and your parents like that. He‘s awful. It‘s not your fault. It‘s his. Don‘t forget that. He knew about your previous abusive relathionship and pretended to care. All he was really doing was finding out what he could get away with, what you would put up with. Shame on him.
Good for you for seeking therapy. You sound/write like an intelligent woman. I‘m hoping you get away from this guy. Maybe you, your son and parents can get a place together. Or, maybe throw him out.
All the best to you. 
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| mochamo |
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Posted: 11/4/2009 7:16 PM |
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Subject: Porn |
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WomanSaver Lurker
Female Member
Age: 38
Total Posts: 12
arvada
Colorado
United States
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Yea it is awful and I‘m deeply hurt by it, I just found out that he asked "christian girl" that there is an opening in his position at work and if she wanted it. Nothing like getting close and cozy..I start therapy this friday. I‘m scared but I need to do this for my 6yr old son, I want him to have a strong Mom who is not afraid to stand up for herself.
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| Kitty Kitty |
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Posted: 11/6/2009 9:33 PM |
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Subject: Porn |
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WomanSaver MoFo
Female Member
Age: 4659
Total Posts: 356
Americas Finest Citee
California
United States
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| mochamo wrote: | | Yea it is awful and I‘m deeply hurt by it, I just found out that he asked "christian girl" that there is an opening in his position at work and if she wanted it. Nothing like getting close and cozy..I start therapy this friday. I‘m scared but I need to do this for my 6yr old son, I want him to have a strong Mom who is not afraid to stand up for herself. |
That is such a great start. You need to decide definetively what you will and will not tolerate and stick to your guns.
And stick around here too. We‘ll help you along the way.
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| mochamo |
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Posted: 11/7/2009 10:49 AM |
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Subject: Porn |
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WomanSaver Lurker
Female Member
Age: 38
Total Posts: 12
arvada
Colorado
United States
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Thank you so much, this place offers so much support, and it‘s nice to know that I am not alone 
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| shally |
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Posted: 11/7/2009 7:18 PM |
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Subject: Porn |
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WomanSaver MoFo
Female Member
Age: 3
Total Posts: 1628
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No, you aren‘t alone.
How are you doing?
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| mochamo |
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Posted: 11/13/2009 6:33 PM |
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Subject: Porn |
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WomanSaver Lurker
Female Member
Age: 38
Total Posts: 12
arvada
Colorado
United States
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I‘m doing better today, I‘m looking forward to therapy this coming Tuesday. I can‘t wait to unload and find inner strength to stand up and be able to put my foot down without regrets!!
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| shally |
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Posted: 11/14/2009 8:15 AM |
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Subject: Porn |
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WomanSaver MoFo
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Age: 3
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You‘ll do it. It‘ll take time but you‘ll do it. Therapy is a beautiful thing. :)
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| mochamo |
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Posted: 11/16/2009 7:28 PM |
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Subject: Porn |
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WomanSaver Lurker
Female Member
Age: 38
Total Posts: 12
arvada
Colorado
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I‘m looking forward to unload, and looking forward to being able to breath again!! 
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