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| froggielvrs |
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Posted: 9/16/2009 4:17 PM |
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Subject: Does a tiger really change his stripes? |
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New WomanSaver
Female Member
Age: 39
Total Posts: 3
Chino
California
United States
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I need an honest opinion. I found a text on my "new" husbands phone the other day that was very inappropriate from his ex-mistress. Yes I said Ex-Mistress. This woman and my husband had a three year affair while his was in his previous marriage. He even had a child with her that they "both" told no one about. The mistress played it off as her and her husbands child.(Yes both partners were married) It should be on a soap opera. Anyways, he never told anyone in his family about the mistress or the baby. That was seventeen years ago and he has had little to no contact with the woman since then. He subsequently went through a divorce seven years ago and we met. We married last year. I have known all about my husbands excurricular activites with his first wife and not that I approve but I have come to believe he would never do this to me. Maybe I was stupid in this belief. My husband found this woman (Mistress) on Facebook about a month ago and showed me her picture. I did not think anything about it. (Stupid) Anyways, I found a text on my husbands phone the other night and in it there was a conversation referencing sexual acts with him and her. When confronted he stated it was out of character for this person to text something like this. He says that he had been communicating with her for two weeks and he "wanted" to tell me but did not know how. I told him I was going to call her and tell her to get out of our lives. He told me not to do that and he would handle it. So here we are two days later, I am very hurt, confused, worried, confused, etc. How could this man that I trusted with everything do this to me after everything we have been through. He keeps going back to the fact that I have changed and we never "just talk" anymore. Should I be so stupid to believe he can handle not talking to her again or that it is partly my fault? Help!!!
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| Alpha89 |
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Posted: 9/16/2009 8:03 PM |
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Subject: Does a tiger really change his stripes? |
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WomanSaver Regular
Female Member
Age: 37
Total Posts: 58
Boulder
Colorado
United States
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 No, you know better than this, if you feel like something is going on, somethings probably going on, sorry. Your thoughts, feeling, and ideas are valid to you. Save up some money and make some other friends also, just in case: i.e. trust but verify.
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| summer62 |
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Posted: 9/17/2009 9:43 AM |
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Subject: Does a tiger really change his stripes? |
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WomanSaver Addict
Female Member
Age: 38
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Total Posts: 106
MANHATTAN
New York
United States
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Have you ever asked him....What is the reason or purpose to contact her on face book? Why he went and search for her? If even she came along and did contact him........ Why he did response to her?
peace
summer
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| froggielvrs |
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Posted: 9/17/2009 9:51 AM |
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Subject: Does a tiger really change his stripes? |
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New WomanSaver
Female Member
Age: 39
Total Posts: 3
Chino
California
United States
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I did ask him why he just had to talk to her or even contact her at all. He just said that because the "daughter" they had together just celebrated a birthday- he was curious to know what she was up to. Then when I questioned him why he needed any contact he did not have a defining answer. He just keeps saying it isn‘t that kind of "relationship". He says they don‘t need to talk everyday, etc. He keeps telling me to not worry about it. It was just texting and he is going to stop. I want to believe him but the trust is gone right now. He doesn‘t feel it was "cheating" since there was no physical contact and the only communication was via texting. However I am not stupid....
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| sunny fl |
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Posted: 9/17/2009 10:27 AM |
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Subject: Does a tiger really change his stripes? |
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WomanSaver MoFo
Female Member
Age: 40
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Total Posts: 4806
sunshine and daisies
Wyoming
United States
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| froggielvrs wrote: | | I did ask him why he just had to talk to her or even contact her at all. He just said that because the "daughter" they had together just celebrated a birthday- he was curious to know what she was up to. Then when I questioned him why he needed any contact he did not have a defining answer. He just keeps saying it isn‘t that kind of "relationship". He says they don‘t need to talk everyday, etc. He keeps telling me to not worry about it. It was just texting and he is going to stop. I want to believe him but the trust is gone right now. He doesn‘t feel it was "cheating" since there was no physical contact and the only communication was via texting. However I am not stupid.... |
I do believe that a tiger can change his stripes, but has your?
If his "daughter" is a secret from the world and the SLUT that is her mother is passing her off as an innocent mans child, he has no rights to find out about her.
He doesn‘t support her, he doesn‘t help her with homework. He doesn‘t go to PTA meetings.
There is no way in hell that he should be talking anything sexual with anybody except you.
So he is wrong, this is an affair. its an emotional affair. which sometimes are harder to forgive then physical ones. He can‘t talk to you but yet he talks to her?? Sorry that is a lame excuse that is used by all cheaters!! Get ready because it sounds like they are at it again!
Good luck to you.
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| lateeda |
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Posted: 9/17/2009 11:05 AM |
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Subject: Does a tiger really change his stripes? |
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WomanSaver Regular
Female Member
Age: 45
Total Posts: 54
Glamour Wood
New Jersey
United States
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ALWAYS BELIEVE ACTIONS NOT WORDS.
Why don’t you do this, write down the date in which he told you he would no longer contact her. Then about a month from that date ask to see his cell phone bill, the detailed phone bill and you’ll have your answer.
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| froggielvrs |
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Posted: 9/17/2009 11:16 AM |
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Subject: Does a tiger really change his stripes? |
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New WomanSaver
Female Member
Age: 39
Total Posts: 3
Chino
California
United States
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Thank you to all of you with all your advise and helpful tips. I am going to check his phone bill. I get it online since it is under my name so I can view the text messages with dates only. Buth then I will know if they are still talking. And as far as being the biological father, I am in agreement that it takes more than just being a sperm donor to be a Daddy. Her real dad has been the husband to the mistress or as you termed her "the slut". I am in agreement with this term by the way. I think they were both wrong but what they have done to that poor child and husband is beyond deceit. God forbid it ever ever comes out that they are not blood related. As for the communciation I am going to keep on top of it. He better just walk a straight line because I am not messing around with this. It is crazy how stupid men are. This woman had no regard the first time that he was married and now she is doing it again. Shows her character and how stupid he truely is.
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