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| CheriTeri |
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Posted: 6/20/2009 1:33 PM |
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Subject: Need an outside opinion. |
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New WomanSaver
Female Member
Age: 33
Total Posts: 2
Lonliness
Michigan
United States
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I come here with a heavy heart...I suspect my husband of 5 years is cheating on me. I have a history of blowing things out of proportion so I am hoping for an outside opinion!
I suspected he was cheating when I was pregnant 2 years ago. I installed a key logger and found absolutely nothing.
2 years latery I have that feeling again. He comes home late several times a week...He works in the car industry, and claims he has to stay until the last customer leaves (if you have ever bought a car you know it can take a while to fill out the paperwork). He has called me from his work phone before after hours so I half-believe him.
Sorry if this is too much info, but I found out recently that he takes Cialis. He gets 4 pills a month, and claims he can not "perform" without them so he often rejects sex.This is all news to me, because up until recently we were having sex almost every day.
He is easily irritated, and snaps at me for stupid things. He blames it on stress at work, not having any money, fear of losing his job etc
Those are my major issues.
This morning I got a text message from him saying "You are so cute...and beautiful my love" out of nowhere, he had been at work for hours. He never does things like that so I am wondering if he meant that text message to go to someone else? This one might be reaching...But just thought I would throw it out there.
Sorry for the lengthy post, I just want to know what you think.
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| learning |
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Posted: 6/20/2009 3:52 PM |
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Subject: Need an outside opinion. |
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WomanSaver Addict
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Age: 4
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Around the Corner
Nebraska
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| CheriTeri wrote: | I come here with a heavy heart...I suspect my husband of 5 years is cheating on me. I have a history of blowing things out of proportion so I am hoping for an outside opinion!
I suspected he was cheating when I was pregnant 2 years ago. I installed a key logger and found absolutely nothing.
2 years latery I have that feeling again. He comes home late several times a week...He works in the car industry, and claims he has to stay until the last customer leaves (if you have ever bought a car you know it can take a while to fill out the paperwork). He has called me from his work phone before after hours so I half-believe him.
Sorry if this is too much info, but I found out recently that he takes Cialis. He gets 4 pills a month, and claims he can not "perform" without them so he often rejects sex.This is all news to me, because up until recently we were having sex almost every day.
He is easily irritated, and snaps at me for stupid things. He blames it on stress at work, not having any money, fear of losing his job etc
Those are my major issues.
This morning I got a text message from him saying "You are so cute...and beautiful my love" out of nowhere, he had been at work for hours. He never does things like that so I am wondering if he meant that text message to go to someone else? This one might be reaching...But just thought I would throw it out there.
Sorry for the lengthy post, I just want to know what you think.
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Hi, Cheri and 
Sorry you‘re feeling this way. And sorry I don‘t have a concrete response for you. In some ways his behavior is questionable, but yet to me it doesn‘t scream "cheater." However, you instinct/intuition is your best guide. Listen to that.
Are these HIS sales that he‘s staying late for or another‘s? The Cialis bit has my eyebrow raised, especially since, to you, there are no apparent problems in the boudior. Can you talk to him about your feelings or will he just flip out?
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| b4angels |
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Posted: 6/21/2009 2:15 AM |
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Subject: Need an outside opinion. |
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WomanSaver Lurker
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Age: 45
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magnolia
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Hello, I would when he is sleeping if he leaves his cell phone out check it, cell phone records, or phone records and that reverse phone thing is good. Its a start. or even if u can when he is so called working late fix him a meal and drop it by tell him u were worried and thought you would bring him something . If u did find a number and a name off the reverse then u remember it then you could say I keep getting someone calling and hanging up on my cell it says it says sarah then ask him do you know anyone named sarah and just keep your eyes open for things but go on as best u can with your life and don;t let this eat u up it done me like that I just don‘t think about it.
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| CaliforniaGirl |
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Posted: 6/21/2009 10:01 AM |
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Subject: Need an outside opinion. |
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WomanSaver MoFo
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Age: 3
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| learning wrote: | Sorry you‘re feeling this way. And sorry I don‘t have a concrete response for you. In some ways his behavior is questionable, but yet to me it doesn‘t scream "cheater." However, you instinct/intuition is your best guide. Listen to that.
Are these HIS sales that he‘s staying late for or another‘s? The Cialis bit has my eyebrow raised, especially since, to you, there are no apparent problems in the boudior. Can you talk to him about your feelings or will he just flip out?
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This is a tough one. I agree with L. Your gut is usually right. How old is your husband?
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| CheriTeri |
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Posted: 6/22/2009 9:38 AM |
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Subject: Need an outside opinion. |
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New WomanSaver
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Age: 33
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Lonliness
Michigan
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Thanks for replying... I appreciate some input from people who don‘t know us personally.
Little more info:
He works in finance, and basically every car sold in the dealership comes to him and one other guy to get approved for financing etc. If this were 2 years ago I would understand the lateness more because the dealerships were really busy, but he complains about how dead it is over there due to the economy so the lateness seems odd.
The fact that he didn‘t tell me about taking Cialis is the worrisome part about it. There have been a couple issues in the past where he couldn‘t "perform" in the bedroom and I know he was extremely embarrassed about it. Maybe he really just has it in his head that that he won‘t be able to perform without it now, maybe he‘s paranoid?
I felt so guilty when I put the keylogger on his PC, especially since I didn‘t find anything. I may take the idea of stopping by work one night spur the moment...
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| Busty Spumonte |
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Posted: 6/23/2009 12:29 PM |
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Subject: Need an outside opinion. |
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WomanSaver MoFo
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Camp Getty Stuckie
Ethiopia
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Being the wife of carman I can sympathise. I also have worked in dealership. It‘s like peyton place. The long hours, the time in between deals gives people way too damn much time to socialize!!
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| Kitty Kitty |
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Posted: 6/23/2009 1:08 PM |
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Subject: Need an outside opinion. |
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WomanSaver MoFo
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Americas Finest Citee
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The Cialis might be what bugged me most in your situation...I‘m with the girls...Maybe one night bring him a bite to eat at work, or look at the phone bill online...
Marriage is based on trust so to get yours back, do a bit of detective work or a good old fashion confrontation might be what you need. Do not feel gulity about being a bit snoopy...He has given you reason to do so...you have to look out for you too.
Ask him if he‘s happy...maybe tell him your suspistions..I‘d probably do both.
and
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| righteousindignation |
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Posted: 6/24/2009 11:46 AM |
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Subject: Need an outside opinion. |
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WomanSaver Lurker
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Age: 35
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c‘mon ladies... erectile dysfunction is embarrassing. I can understand why he kept it on the downlow.
His behavior doesn‘t scream "cheater" to me either. But it does sound like the two of you need to have a really long talk.
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| expectation |
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Posted: 6/26/2009 6:47 PM |
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Subject: Need an outside opinion. |
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New WomanSaver
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Age: 18
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Shit! Do not get advice from the fear mongering women on this site. Thats my advice. You say you have no real reason to think he‘s cheating and the same thing happened two years ago, but just because you are insecure and your relationship is not good these women are advising you to do a ‘Nut‘ job on him. Well thats sure enough to break up your relationship!
He sent you a nice text, so he must be havign an affair! What universe do you girls live in.
This place in here is crazy! Its creating nasty fearing women!
Shame on you all!
My advice...be happy...have a great time with him...surprise him....have good sex....be happy and work on yourself....if you are feeling great and investing in the relationship you will know much more clearly whether there is a problem.
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| ravenlady |
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Posted: 6/29/2009 12:52 AM |
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Subject: Need an outside opinion. |
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WomanSaver Lurker
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Age: 99
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First off I admit I‘m an extremely suspicious woman when it comes to men - due to my experiences because of their actions. While a man might have a profession where there‘s a legitimate reason for him to be away, the ‘I‘ll be working late‘ is a well used line many men utilize as cover for their absence while they are with other women. His recent irritability with you is not uncommon with men who cheat as a way to justify their behavior, sort of blaming the ‘victim‘ (his SO) for his straying.
Men can be extremely sneaky. Let me give just some examples of what I know:
1. ‘Turning down‘ (beautiful) women in front of others for show, making sure you/others know about it as cover for what they‘re really doing on the down low.
2. Cheating once in a while, and/or with anonymous/random women who won‘t (be able) to get them into a spot.
3. Raving about their wife/girlfriend/family so that you and everyone else will think look how he loves and adores them - he would never cheat and risk losing them.
4. Giving you gifts - also a ‘show‘ gesture as #3, and also perhaps as a way to ease his guilt.
5. Calling and having a lovey talk with you if he‘s in a profession that takes him away and tells you he‘s turning in to bed - but it‘s only to get the call out of the way to have his fun.
I really don‘t think there‘s any man out there who is and will remain 100% faithful.
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| righteousindignation |
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Posted: 6/29/2009 12:12 PM |
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Subject: Need an outside opinion. |
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| expectation wrote: | |
Shit! Do not get advice from the fear mongering women on this site. Thats my advice. You say you have no real reason to think he‘s cheating and the same thing happened two years ago, but just because you are insecure and your relationship is not good these women are advising you to do a ‘Nut‘ job on him. Well thats sure enough to break up your relationship! He sent you a nice text, so he must be havign an affair! What universe do you girls live in. This place in here is crazy! Its creating nasty fearing women! Shame on you all! My advice...be happy...have a great time with him...surprise him....have good sex....be happy and work on yourself....if you are feeling great and investing in the relationship you will know much more clearly whether there is a problem.
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you rock my world... been thinking the same thing all day!
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| Busty Spumonte |
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Posted: 6/29/2009 12:35 PM |
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Subject: Need an outside opinion. |
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WomanSaver MoFo
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Camp Getty Stuckie
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| expectation wrote: | Shit! Do not get advice from the fear mongering women on this site. Thats my advice. You say you have no real reason to think he‘s cheating and the same thing happened two years ago, but just because you are insecure and your relationship is not good these women are advising you to do a ‘Nut‘ job on him. Well thats sure enough to break up your relationship!
He sent you a nice text, so he must be havign an affair! What universe do you girls live in.
This place in here is crazy! Its creating nasty fearing women!
Shame on you all!
My advice...be happy...have a great time with him...surprise him....have good sex....be happy and work on yourself....if you are feeling great and investing in the relationship you will know much more clearly whether there is a problem. |
Since your first post here explains that you love to cheat and could give a **** about who gets hurt in your wake, any advise you give is about as valuable as a fresh dog terd.
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| shally |
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Posted: 6/30/2009 3:45 AM |
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Subject: Need an outside opinion. |
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WomanSaver MoFo
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Well, yeah and then there‘s that....
********
OP - Listen to what that inner voice is telling you, it will never steer you wrong.
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| righteousindignation |
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Posted: 6/30/2009 6:12 AM |
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Subject: Need an outside opinion. |
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WomanSaver Lurker
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well... I can say that "your inner voice" AKA The Gut has been known to spend way too much time with it‘s old friend Insecurity... Sometimes they get together, get a few drinks in them, run into Hormones... and concoct all sorts of wrong assumptions. The Gut can lie to you as much, if not more, than any man... And the Gut and Insecurity often bear a striking resemblance.... If Insecurity has taken up residence, then your gut is totally unreliable...
Going off half cocked making wild unfounded accusations can ruin a marriage just as fast as any affair.
If you‘ve seen absolutely no signs that cheating is there, then chances are you‘re listening to Insecurity right now, and The Gut is off somewhere, sleeping off a hangover.
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| lament |
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Posted: 8/27/2009 6:22 AM |
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Subject: Need an outside opinion. |
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WomanSaver Lurker
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have u thought of getting an investigator? 
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