WomanSavers.com Forum / CATCH A CHEATER / What would you do if you know this?

 what was i thinking?

 i thought she asked for advice.

I think it‘s best to mind your own business on this one.  It‘s not up to you to tell anyone anything about what‘s going on.  Sorry but it‘s not.

Soundsl like you still have unresolved issues from having been cheated on yourself that need some work. 

Often when you do tell, you are not believed and you are seen as a trouble maker.

Please DON"T mind your own business ! He is putting her health at risk ! Please do tell, for her own health .

heidi the chat don‘t work, maybe when it does we can chat then, so sorry.

I would like to tell you a story about my daugther.  I discovered her Myspace and did a little research.  I found that her group of friends including the ring leader were up to no good.  They had sleep overs at this girls house and would sneak out at night and run all over town.  Get chased by cops, etc.  They were into the vodka, taking it to movie theaters in water bottles.  I read that a few of her friends were into coke.  They alluded to a sleepover and snow day in the middle of August.  One guy, a cousin of the ringleader said "I told you not to be doing lines in the girls room."

I told the wife and she had a fit.  We confronted my daughter and the proverbial **** hit the fan.  The kids were 15 then.  She is now 19 and has a 3.0 average in her 1st year at college.  She turned things around 180.

Now the reason I am telling you this is what happened next.  My wife immediately says she is going to tell the other mothers.  She said they need to know.  I advised against this but wife did what she wanted and called the mother of the ringleader.  The mother said, "Oh no you must be wrong.  Not my child."  That night the mother and child posted remarks on the Myspace about how my daughter got caught and blamed everything on all the girls.  Said she lied to save herself.  Made fun of my wife and daughter.

A few days later on Friday night our house was egged and toilet papered.  LOL cute.  Cleanup and forget it.  The next night they came back and poured glue on our sidewalk and cars.  Chocolate on the cars.  They put kitty liter in the radiator and dumped a full bag inside my hot tub.  The cops were called and the cops advised us not to press charges Bcuz the parents had money and would contest it in court.  they said in the long run it would cost us a lot of money.  Instead the cop went to school and pulled the girls out of class one by one and scared the living daylights out of them.

Now I understand that mom wanted to do the right thing and inform other moms, after all what kind of mom would not want to know.  I did not say I told you so, but I sure did think it.  Knowing that now, I bet the wife would have rather she had mind her own business.

Heidi, if you have solid proof then tell. Make copies of your evidence and give them to her. However, you may not be taken seriously. Just make sure you give up copies of the proof.

Uncle Don, sorry to hear about the trouble from  the girls and their parents. But please know that eventually the parents will understand that they did no favors to their children by not taking action on what your wife told the mother. Once when my son was acting out in school I had a parent tell him and me that he would end up in jail before he was 18. I informed her that she should be worried about her son and left it at that. Just last week HER son was arrested for rape and possession of drugs.

This is just my opinion, Don, but I do not think that exposing the dangerous and illegal acts of minors is the same as exposing the immoral and illegal acts of people who are supposed to be adults. I hate to stick up for your wife, knowing all that you have told us about her activities, but there is the interest of the teens to think about. I think that in addition to protecting your daughter she wanted the other parents to take responsibility for the actions of their children and to acknowledge that they had some work to do.

Telling a spouse that he or she is being cheated on is different in my opinion. All of those people are presumably adults who know the difference between right and wrong. There were people that could have told me and they chose not to. I wish they had. I would tell, but the method would depend on the situation.

Don, would you want someone to have told you? I know you were good at figuring it out on your own, but would you have appreciated even a heads up?