WomanSavers.com Forum / CATCH A CHEATER / Finally Over Him.....YEAH!!!!

Hi Ladies,

Well it‘s been almost a year and I‘m happy to say I‘m finally over that cheating azz I called a bf.  We were together for over two years but the last part of the "relationship" I suspected he was cheating,  then found he WAS CHEATING!!!  Then came the tears, sorrow, more tears, more sorrow.  I can‘t believe I wasted so much time mourning but that‘s what you have to do sometimes to get over betrayal.  I will never, ever let a man treat me like that again.  When I look back on it now I realize my self esteem was very low otherwise I would have walked when I found out about the cheating.  No man is worth that. We don‘t deserve just crumbs.  We deserve a loving caring man that will treat us with the respect. 

I‘m dating again and have met some nice men.  I‘m not in  a hurry to slip back into a heavy duty relationship.  I want to take my time.  If I find that special person, that will be great but I don‘t need a man to be happy.  That‘s one thing I‘ve learned.

Love yourselves like you love a man.  When you date look for the red flags and pay attention to your gut.  It never fails you.  Don‘t get involved with players that come on strong and trap you into their sick little world.

So here‘s to all the strong and great women out there and on this board..  If you‘re with a loser, cheater, abuser....dump his azz and find a real man that will treat you right, just like you deserve.

Peace.

Trina....Single Again

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AyWZOnllh5A

Start doing everything and anything you can to keep your focus on yourself, and not on what has happened in the past.  Congratulate yourself for having the wear-with-all to leave. Celebrate your life.  Live it.  Life‘s too short to waste on negative thoughts.   Think positively about YOU every single day.

That is so fantastic!

It is really hard to say something to a neighbor about what you know.  They didn‘t want to be the one that breaks your heart.  But trust me on this one,  they aren‘t laughing at you,  they think that he is the assHole for hurting you.

Start living for you,  do what you want to.  go where you want to.  Watch movies you like or read books (if you can, when I found out I couldn‘t concentrate enough to read) 

Find yourself again,  love yourself again. Good luck to you!

Thanks for all the caring thoughts about focusing on myself. It‘s helping - and so is this poem. Enjoy.

LOVE AFTER LOVE

The time will come

when, with elation,

you will greet yourself arriving

at your own door, in your own mirror,

and each will smile at the other’s welcome,

and say, sit here. Eat.

You will love again the stranger who was your self,

Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart

to itself, to the stranger who has loved you

all your life, whom you ignored

for another, who knows you by heart.

Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,

the photographs, the desperate notes,

peel your own image from the mirror.

Sit. Feast on your life.

Derek Walcott

Hi,

I‘m sorry to hear you were betrayed by the man you love. I absolutely understand how sad you‘re feeling. 

What helped me was TIME.  Time is truly a great healer.  It took me over a year to heal from this.  One thing I stopped doing, is putting him on a pedestal.  I made a list of all his faults, the red flags I missed, packed away anything he ever gave me and started to get angry.  You said you were over the anger but I found anger is a powerful tool when you‘re trying to mend a broken heart.  It‘s OK to be angry, you should be and it helps more then crying endless tears.

I wouldn‘t worry too much what other people think but I know other‘s opinions can sting.

One thing I would advise is No Contact.  If you stay in touch with him it only prolongs the healing process.  I know it‘s very hard to do but it helps you get over him faster.

My ex contacted me many times after I broke up with him.  As soon as he broke up with the woman he cheated on me with, he was back contacting me.  Pleezzzzzzzzzzze!!!  I never responded to him, not once and eventually he went away.  We don‘t owe these men explanations and we certainly don‘t want to remain friends with them, so what‘s the point of staying in contact.  He just wanted an ego stroke from me, to see if I still cared but I was not going to go there.

Good luck and I hope that all will be right in your world again soon!!

Meisha