WomanSavers.com Forum / CATCH A CHEATER / Evil secrets

I have been reading so many of your stories and how similar to mine they are.

I was married and recently seperated with the man I thought would change. He cheated when we dated, he cheated when we got married, even so much so that over due pregnant he spent new years in Sydney with a women who had no idea about me except that of his spun lies.

I forgave him  again and again, but it got so much. It got so much so that he made me feel that I was holding him back. He had secret accounts on web sites and banks. He took out loans which I have no idea where the money has gone and blamed me for not having money, when we could have if he didn‘t buy expensive gifts for his female ‘friends‘.

I was left time and time again to take care of all household chores while he flitted off time and time again. I lost my social life, my independance and most of all who I was once.

I was kept from even socialising with my family.

Time and time again he made me feel it was me who made him do it, like it was an illness that I bestowed upon him.

He has now ‘shacked up‘ with a women who has been spun the same lies I was and even worse, lies about me.

In some cases I went and got tested for any possible sexualy transmitted diseases as I had no idea what he was doing and who with. Not once did he consider this.

It is the lies, the change in attitude, the mental torment of what he has done that hurts and now I have to try and comfort the children as they have no idea why he did what he did, not only to me, but them.

All of you who have been through this know what I am saying even though I am not saying alot.

I have only seperated from him in May, but I am frightened about what he will do as he still has a hold on me in a mentally torturing way.

If you are living in Sydney, beware of Craig William (Cameron) Smith. Formally from Tasmania.

He is cunning, sly and manipulative.

If you have dated him, he cries the first time you sleep with hi as if it was a majical moment.... no he knows what he has done is wrong, hence he lets it all go with tears.

You may think you are smething special with him, but nah! He got what he wanted.

I am so sorry that you are going threw this **** and may the karma bus run his a s s over big time.

Have you went and talk to anyone about all the **** he is and has been doing to you and your children.

And please don‘t let him blame all of this on you ,they all do this and they know just what to say and how it will make us feel.This is know way your fault it is all on him and him alone.

Stay strong for your children ,they shouldn‘t have to be part of this mess that he has put you and them in.

Keep posting in here and let it all out and read other post you are not alone in this ,sadly to say.

Take one day at a time ,and when he opens his mouth know that all you hear is lies and tell him to shut his mouth and that you are not taken his S h it any more and that this is all on him and  him alone,and take the power back .

Thanks guys,

I keep reading other posts and wonder how in the hell do we get caught up with people like this.

I know because I loved him that I allowed him to mentally abuse me. I believed he would change, but I can nt believe how much he has covered up.

Is there a psycologically proved phenomonon behind why people do this.

It hurts to feel that I feel helpless. He is laying sweet each night next to his new girlfriend and at work working n his next chiccy babe. It is sick!

Thanks guys, any suggestions on what kind of ‘moron detector‘ I should install at my front door?

Bless you emobused

You dont need a moron detector, you need to re-find you!!

Although these type of men suck to the max and we could probably SHIT better than they talk each morning, we will never ever be able to change them.

WHO and WHAT we can change is OURSELVES. How we think about us, how we care about us and love us and WHY we settle for so little when we have SO much to give in return.

There is nothing wrong with our "believing he would change". It only becomes wrong and self harming when it begins to compromise our self worth, respect and beliefs. You and your little ones deserve so much more and so much better. I know that serves little consolation when you imagine him living it up all sweet with his new gf, BUT he will continually reap what he sows.

Take some time to feel your pain and heal, when you feel ready, concentrate on you. What makes you, you. Then it somehow becomes so much better and we regain all that we lost in madASSED relationships. Its when we have worked on ourselves that we actually start to "sow" different, much nicer rewards.

Once again welcome here, stick around and

T

The old saying goes that when a couple gets married, the woman thinks the man will change and he does‘nt.  The Man thinks the woman will never change and she does.

Sorry you are hurting!   

i understand that people change in a relationship, but I didn‘t realise that this person had a different life which changed so often depending on who he was secretly dating at that time.

I changed for him. i became the subservient wife, lost contact with friends and family all because he had to contain his secrets and the less contact I had with others the easier it was for him to control.

I know what was going on, but I just can‘t get that stuff out of my heart.

I believe in old sayings, but they are becoming obsolete in todays society. It seems more acceptable that people divorce over affairs and it is becoming more common that people are from broken homes.

I tried my damned hardest ever time he told me crap stories about how hard his life is, finacial burdens and how hard his day was at work and how tired he was.

What lies. Everytime I tried to talk, he had a story to compare and made his life appear more burdensome than mine.

Yeh, he was tired because he was finding it hard to keep his two or three relationships happening at once. He was becoming finacially burdened due to spending money on other people, yeh and work became harder because he was working his relationships in the time he was meant to work.

I am SCREAMING now, do I feel better? Not really because he doesn‘t care how I feel. He has what he wants.

Well I am going to get back to my kiddles. At least I know I have something stable there.

Thanks guys