WomanSavers.com Forum / CATCH A CHEATER / what‘s the difference?

my husband left me a year ago and said that he no longer loved me and that i needed to find someone that did. he swore up and down that he did not meet anyone else but that he needed his space. i asked him that full year what he wanted and he always replied with a "i don‘t know" answer and i said to myself if he said it for the third time that was it for me. so i asked him finally one day and he said I don‘t know and i finally found me someone that took my heart. now here is the kicker.. he is begging me to come back. he will not leave me alone and he says it is different now that he realizes that he loves me and that he will wait for me!!! what?? i fell in love with my new guy and i don‘t want my husband back!!! i hate him for what he did to me and i learned to take care of myself and i found true love again!! what do i do girls?  my husband will not give me a divorce! i want a divorce so bad so i can move on but my husband will not. he says this is different because he didn‘t have a relationship with a woman that i am wrong for what i am doing. i should of never found a boyfriend that he was trying to find himself!!! am i crazy here???

They always want what they cant have!!

He wants you now because you arent available to him,  as soon as you went back  he wouldnt be  happy.

You can get a divorce!!  He maybe able to hold it up  but he cant stop it!  Call legal aid  see what they say. 

I tried going back,  it didnt work for me  and all it did was prolong my divorce!

hey!! congrats on finding a new love. what‘s he like?

Oh no they don‘t!  Maybe I did for awhile but it was a short while and after I discovered her boyfriend, she was the last thing I ever wanted again.

Of course, maybe I‘m just different!

As for you, mechild, don‘t let him and his neediness hold you back from moving on.  That does no one any favors.

You dear arent the cheater!  ( my they was cheaters not men) 

The cheater realized  just what they lost,  when the betrayed spouse  finally moves on,

Gotcha!  Guess I just can‘t see things through their eyes.  Something to be thankful for, no?

Its is like the cheater thinks  that the spouse  really isnt good enough for a good person to really love.   When they realize that somebody else wants their  ex    then they want them back.   The therpist  said this happens  all the time.  

It happend to me.  I went back to my husband  he begged me  after i was seen having dinner with a man.  (which was only a co worker)   but it was enough to make him go crazy.    It only worked for 4 months  and then I kicked him out.  But I have to admitt,  I am glad I tried  and going back  really helped me  admitt  that  I would never be happy with him again.   but damn I miss going for long motorcycle rides when its warm out!

mechild2004 wrote:

thanks!! i loved my husband and we were married for 18 yrs. and when he left, i was devastated!  i am now in love with a wonderful man whom i have falling deeply in love with and i think that is why i don‘t want to go back with my ex!  i just wish my soon to be ex-husband would leave me alone and go on with his life!!!

Good for you!!

I hope that you two will be very happy and the stbx  will be the ex  really soon!!